Want to take petty obnoxious revenge on child-unfriendly cafe. suggestions?

[PrincessTeacake]

Before I lay it all out, I am a person that gets frustrated when small children act up in cafes with no interference. I sympathise with the staff who clean up after messy child patrons and if my two make a mess, I usually clean most of it up myself. Today's cafe however had no recourse for their behaviour.

Myself and two mums (I'm a nanny) were at a toddler group this morning, our bunch are very good friends and wanted to play together after the playgroup was finished. We agreed to bring them to a playground nearby but since it was just about lunchtime, we wanted to feed them first an this cafe (we'll call it BC) was between both places.

There were three adults and seven children, ages between 2 and 4, and the staff firstly gave us no assistance in getting our group seated. No high chair was offered for the very small just-turned-2 year old, I found it later in the bathroom. The children's menu was farcical, everything came with chips and although mashed potato was on the menu you couldn't substitute it for the chips without paying extra. My lone vegetarian option was pretty rank too but beside the point. I ordered 3 orange juices for me and my twin mindees, we got tap water and a thimble of squash in it.

The kids were sitting nicely but got a little high spirited in each other's company, started singing. I was mid-drink and about to stop them but the waitress jumped in before them, shushed them quite aggressively and told them they'd have to leave if they didn't be quiet. The older kids clammed up but one of the younger ones got upset and started crying.

They gave us the bums rush from start to finish. My two only left the table to use the bathroom with me in attendance and we were mostly engaged in a quiet game of I spy with one of the older girls. The waitresses kept butting in to clear the kids still mostly full plates and sweeping under and around our table which, honestly, wasmessy but not that bad. Finally the two mothers got fed up and left. I stuck around to finish my crappy salad, and when they asked me if my mindee was finished, I was sufficiently curt with her that they backed off.

In the meantime, the manager had gone outside to talk to the mums, and he told them that three people had walked out and said they wouldn't be back because of the kids. Even if that was true, and I saw nobody leave except the mums, It was a gross overreaction to an admittedly large group of small kids.

To put this in perspective, I had the twins at Yo Sushi the week before (to see the 'food train') where the waitresses were so impressed by their willingness to try yakitori, edemame and eating with chopsticks that they were over every few minutes praising them and gave them free desserts. I take them to loads of eateries and I've never been treated with such contempt.

So, revenge? I'm thinking of taking the mindees there every day after playschool and only ordering tap water and tea. Which we will nurse for three hours while quietly doing a jigsaw on the table.

[arabesque]

OP Is this cafe in Dublin?

Irish people aren't great at complaining or showing their annoyance in restaurants, so if three people walked out that would be quite significant.

[Emilythornesbff]

littleball good point. I'm in turkey ATM and we're constantly "mugged" for cuddles and squeezes with the DCs.

[LucilleBluth]

If you would walk out of a cafe because people came in with toddlers then you are a complete and utter miserable bastard, miserable, miserable miserable twat

[Mintyy]

Clearly that is utter nonsense Lucille

[ladymariner]

lucille are your arguments always so well reasoned and thought out......

[anklebitersmum]

I have to laugh at the 'well I'd walk out if a group like that walked in' brigade.

Quite frankly, po-faced customers leaving because my friend and I had walked in with our children (5 for me, 3 for her) would probably do us a favour as regards seating them all. That's right folks, 8 children and just 2 adults

Revenge by patronage is a bit odd though. Quite frankly if I experience dreadful service, shoddy waitressing and inedible food then I make my complaint in fountain pen writing to the most senior person associated with the establishment I can find, tell at least ten people how dreadful the place is and don't go back. Ever.

[Lovecat]

I'm with Lucille. I'm often in cafes without DD and I really can't see why people posting on MN (who either have children, work with children or at least don't object to the vast majority of the other posters posting about their children) hate children so much (and automatically expect them to be badly behaved) that they'd walk out.

If you do have children, walker-outers, you must have very low standards of behaviour with your own 'brats' (to quote an earlier poster) if the mere sight of children walking in is enough to send you fleeing into the night. There are plenty of bars that do coffee these days if you really can't take the possibility of encountering preschoolers...

[Lovecat]

aargh. Night = street. No idea where night came from!

[ICantRememberWhatSheSaid]

lovecat
Wow! Charming post . I prefer to avoid places with little kids, if I walked into a cafe and there were loads of little kids I would walk out.
I don't understand how this makes my DCs brats . What an insulting and ridiculous thing to say.

We have lots of cafes in our town and I choose to go to the ones where there are fewer little kids. It doesn't mean I dissaprove of people who go into cafes with little kids or that I dislike little kids. It simply means I like a nice quiet and relaxing atmosphere. I don't like loud music in cafes either. So what!

[LilacPeony]

I can't get my head round three different people leaving and saying they were not coming back just because some quiet, well behaved toddlers had come in. It doesn't seem believable. Isn't it more likely to have been the singing and the "small toddler crying far louder than he had been singing" that the OP mentioned that they had had enough of? I'm thinking maybe the toddlers were making an awful racket over some time so that people couldn't hear themselves think.

[ophelia275]

Leave a bad review on Yelp/Qype/All in London (everything that lets you review them)?

[Moistenedbint1]

^you know who makes mess and noise?
The group of adults with severe learning disabilities that my friend looks after. Should they not be able to go out like the rest of us? Or just to designated areas so no one has their prissy little self important afternoon coffee spoiled by their presence.^

Hear hear! Precious dicks.

Cannot believe anyone needs to ask why an establishment should cater to children ... Seems where children are concerned, being exclusionary is ok. Lovely, inclusive multicultural Britain.. Passionate about "diversity".

Just not children..

[Lovecat]

I was quoting ArtemisAtBrauron when I said 'brats' and I made it very plain I was quoting, Icantremember, so right back at you.

I just think that if you see little children coming and walk out without even waiting to see how they behave then it's a bit sad. You assume they'll be noisy and not allow you to relax. They've as much right to be there as you have.

[rainrainandmorerain]

Seven? Seven. Seven toddlers. Three adults. Hmm.

I have two pre-schoolers. I'm v tolerant of kids in cafes and expect to be tolerated myself. If I was meeting another parent with one or two children, I'd head to one of the nearest cafes without a second thought.

If I was meeting several other parents, with several other pre-schoolers, and realised we were going to be a crowd, with 3 plus buggies, and certainly more than 7 children... I would suggest a soft play meet up, or the specifically child-and-parent cafe in town (no entry without a child), or offer that we meet at my house.

I appreciate this was more of a spur of the moment decision. I think 3 adults and 7 toddlers is pushing it though.

Btw, when I eat out with my kids, I say to the staff upfront, 'I know they will make a bit of a mess, even if they are trying to eat nicely - but if you give me your dustpan and brush and a bit of kitchen roll, I will deal with the worst before I go."

sometimes they tell me not to worry about it, but appreciate the offer - sometimes they are happy for me to have a quick sweep under the table and take the worst off the top. It takes so little time, but makes such a difference. I've seen some mums with toddlers walk out and leave an appalling mess behind them which is all the worse if staff can't swoop down instantly and it all gets trodden and mushed up around the floor. (and btw, if you do offer to clear up a bit, you might hear what the staff think of those parents' behaviour).

If it is a shared social space, I think you have to have some consideration for other users if you want to be treated with consideration yourself.

[SugarMouse1]

At the end of the day its up to the café who they want in- its their livelihood!

Why couldn't you have found a more suitable place to eat? A soft play café? Harvester? Nando's? Carluccio's? A supermarket café?

You would probably be the first person to complain if a group of loud footie fans came in while you were there! How is that any different?

[rainrainandmorerain]

Also - if I was having a work meeting with one or two colleagues, I might well suggest we meet at a cafe. Maybe up to 5 of us, at the very most. I think that's the max you can comfortably accommodate around a cafe table without crowding other people out/having to rearrange furniture/just dominating the space.

More than five and I just don't think a cafe is appropriate for a work meeting. It's not just about children in public spaces.

[Moistenedbint1]

Hey good marketing opportunity here - a commercial establishment which serves food and osctracizes self-entiltled child intolerant types.

[ICantRememberWhatSheSaid]

I agree that parents with little kids have every right to go to a cafe, especially ones that offers kids meals etc but I have every right to AVOID the little kids as long as I don't say anything or give anyone 'the evils'. I am always sweetness personified as I quietly back out of kid filled cafes. It is my choice. I dont dissaprove and I don't judge I just choose to go somewhere else.

Incidentally, I don't know why some posters assume that people who don't want to go to cafes with lots of little kids in would react negatively to groups of customers with learning difficulties. I would always do everything I could to make anyone with learning difficulties feel comfortable and welcome wherever I was. It is very unkind to make a connection between people trying to avoid groups of little kids and people discriminating against people with certain types of disabilities.

TBH I think it's a bit pathetic to make that type of argument.

[ICantRememberWhatSheSaid]

lovecat.
Perhaps you could clarify whether you think us 'walker-outers' have very low standards of behaviour with our own DCs or not.

A simple Yes or No would help me understand your post because it reads that you think we do and that you are referring to my DC as brats.

[rainrainandmorerain]

Comparisons between adults with disabilities and children are pretty insensitive and out of order.

And there's a huge difference between a child with learning disabilities/autism being out and about in a public space, and some entitled parents or carers thinking that a cafe is a suitable space for a large number of 2-4 year olds.

[SugarMouse1]

If you are serious about revenge then you are very childish indeed, these people were only trying to make a living.

[Kytti]

rant on tripadvisor. :) YANBU

[Kytti]

rainrainandmorerain I often go out with groups of up to ten children, as I myself have four and my friends have two or three each too. Having said that, we do try to do kid-friendly stuff, and I try to avoid cafes like the plague. Esp little ones. :) Still think they were horrid to OP though.

[McGeeDiNozzo]

Pretty difficult to find a good place for that many kids that isn't a major chain. You need to find somewhere with a) PLENTY of space b) stuff to do for the kids and c) clear evidence that other kids use the place... I know of one such outlet that's a family-owned place, but that's probably the exception rather than the rule. You mention Yo Sushi, but they're a well-established chain.

I'm not saying 'avoid small businesses', but I do think you should probably have left when the high-chair shenanigans started to get out of hand.

[Emilythornesbff]

Unless one is paying for exclusive use of a venue than a work meeting delegate has no more "right" to be in a cafe than a three year old.
My money (and by proxy, my children's money) is as good as anyone else's.
The idea that children should only be able to frequent fast food chains and soft play venues and should be frowned upon or excluded from social settings is discriminatory and really quite draconian.

And no. Proprietors do not get to "choose" who uses their establishments.
That went out with the abolishing of apartheid.
By all means, if you don't want to stay in a place that is occupied with individuals othen retain age then that is your choice. But I think it's erroneous to claim this is a fair approach that should be held up by cafe owners being given the right to make perfectly law abiding people to feel unwelcome.