I have 2 DS. I want another baby as does DH. It would be nice if it was a girl but equally lovely to have another boy. I really want a healthy - that's the best. I have always wanted 4 children and just don't feel like I'm ready to hang up my womb just yet.
Anyway, when I mentioned having another one, a lot of family and friends said "you won't have any girls, there's no point in having another one" and then said "you're such a good mum, of boys".
Is there such a thing as being a good mum to just one sex of child? Surely a good mum is a good mum. I'm sure they say this to make me feel better or something but it just pisses me off. It is nice to be told I'm a good mum - especially as most of the time I feel like I'm winging it and the rest of the time have no clue - but it feels like people are saying "you'd be a shit mum to girls" (obviously me being massively over sensitive).
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBU?
to hate it when people say "you're a good mum....of boys"
IamMrsElf · 23/05/2013 09:02
One of my aunts has 3 DD and she says she wouldn't know what to do with a boy. Another aunt has 2 DD and said the same thing. Both of their DH are really sporty and manly but totally dote on their DDs and are happy with their girls, but people insist that these men really wanted boys 
What is this idea that boys are such hard work??
People really do think one of each is best, but why? I just don't get it. I grew up with one brother, the pigeon pair. It was great but I really wanted a sister and he really wanted a brother. My DM told me that she really wanted 2DD but was delighted to have a boy and wouldn't change it now.
I just think it's rude to comment on the family that a person has. Family is so personal, why do people feel they have the right??
sokmonsta when people see me with DS5 and DD and comment on how we have the "ideal" family I LOVE telling them that we think so, it is wonderful to have FIVE boys and a girl!
We're expecting DC3 after two boys. I think everyone is expecting a girl for some reason. I reckon it's another boy.
I like that comment "I wouldn't know what to do with a boy."
I didn't know what to do with them either until I had them!
sokmonsta did you not order them from the stork?? 
I am sorry to hear about your neighbour. Comments around gender must be deeply hurtful for her.
Thank you amazing. Can't believe how rude people are. 6 DC must be really lovely and rewarding though. Shame they can't appreciate the joy of a large family.
I do feel at the moment that there is a dim view around having more than 2 children. That program on Channel 4 about having lots of kids seemed to make large families seem like a freak show. Now, 18 kids is too many for me personally, but it's the choice of the parents.
When I was pg with DS2 everyone told me I was having a girl. How they could tell, I don't know. I had a feeling it was a boy. For a split second when the doc held him up I felt a pang of disappointment 
and then he weed all over me and I laughed. When they brought him over and I looked into his little face, I fell in love with him. I was so angry with all those people that kept on about him being a girl because it nearly ruined it for me.
I was working at the time I was pg as a teacher, so I had students, teachers, family and friends, all telling me I was having a girl. My DM was the worst, she kept on about how she thought I was having a girl, then when he was born said "I always knew you'd have a boy. You'll have 4 boys and SIL will have 3 girls" 
I find this so common. In fact it's more common ime for people to say things like his than not.
We have DS and are planning on trying for 2 more children. But everyone says 'fingers crossed the next one is a girl, then you wont have to have another'
In my family it's completely normal to favour one gender. My nan made no attempt to hide the fact she didn't like girls and favoured my male cousins. My Aunt would say to me, and my parents (who had 2 girls), how dreadful girls were, so bitchy etc, and how glad she was she didn't have to share her house with any. My exMil (who had 3 boys) went on about how glad she was none were girls as she couldn't have stood the 'competition' 
for what i don't know? And my current Mil has DH and 2 DD's - she has not seen her girls since they were small and only loves DH, she tells me constantly how lucky i am we have a boy and not an 'awful girl'. The thing is we could have a girl next so can't imagine what she will be like - but i wont subject my children to favouritism. But also I am a girl and so are they, so i fail to see how they can think they are not being hateful towards me and themselves.
wheredo the "as long as it's healthy" answer is typically a response to "do you hope for/want a girl. I don't care either way, I just hope it's healthy, why is that wrong?
of course I want my baby to be healthy and I hope and pray that they will be!
who in their right mind would hope or want a baby with health problems? !
people don't tend to mean that unless healthy the child is not good enough.
seriously, don't get offended by it.
My boys are completely different as well they are not little clones of one another just because they are brothers
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Several people have told me that research has shown that if you have two children of the same gender it is almost certain that you can't have the other gender
That is totally ridiculous information. Because statisically with two children, assuming equal probability of having Boy or girl, you could have: BB BG GB GG, hence an equal chance of having one of each or both the same.
There are some genetic conditions which are X related recessive and so a boy baby (XX) may well spontaniously miscarry due to this disorder, hence you can get couples that (if I'm correct) 50% of baby boys will not get to term or die shortly after, but I don't think there's any equivalent for girls.
But I wonder if that was where your friend was coming from.
Hope you have your 4 children.
When I first started dating my now husband, whenever we used to go and stay with his parents, his mum used to just feed us from the start of the weekend to the end. Big lunches, three course dinners, afternoon cake etc. Me, being polite and trying to make a good impression, would just eat it and by the end of the weekend would feel really ill and uncomfortably overfed!
But after a couple of visits DH's dad started to make comments about how much I ate, whether I'd put on weight, how much did I weigh, how my mum must have had a tough time filling me up when I was growing up etc etc (I'm not overweight...pretty average for my height)...it was just non-stop and at every visit I'd get comments! I was a bit but took it on the chin to begin with but it began to really piss me off eventually and I still say to my DH, "thank goodness they never had daughters (3 sons)" I dread to think of the body, self-esteem issues they would have had if they'd had girls.
I remember when I was pregnant with DC1 we all had a meal out together and FIL made a comment about "well, as Coffee usually eats for 2 she'll probably be eating for about 6 now...ha ha ha!"
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