AIBU to think crocodile pajamas are unisex and perfectly suitable for DD?

[CockyFox]

This morning I went to Tesco to get DS and DD some pajamas, DD didn't want any of the girls pajamas (cats, cakes, butterflies etc on them) so I said we would look the other side of the shelf for some for DS and go somewhere else for hers.

On the Boy side we selected some with monkeys on for DS and DD saw some with green and blue crocodiles on, and said she liked those. They had her size so I picked up the pack and asked her if she was sure those were the ones she wanted. She was sure so I popped them in the basket at which point an very friendly assistant who had been setting out shoes told me the Girls pajamas were around the other side of the display, I said thank you but we were fine. Then while i was selecting myself some knickers she appeared with a pack of pink pajamas and asked me if DD preferred those. DD bless looked at me and said 'I like crocodiles' so just said again no, we are fine and walked away.

I am sure IANBU, but do you think I am and if I am could somebody please explain what makes crocodiles unsuitable for girls? I am not bothered by the shop assistant she probably has really girly daughters and thought I was trying to make a point and was making sure the crocodiles weren't being forced on DD.

[girliefriend]

YANBU and I think very restrained in not telling the shop assistant to do one

My dd doesn't like anything pink, princesses, fairies and finding her pjs without this on is a problem - its ridiculous!!

I have offered to get dd pjs from the boys section as she loves batman, superman etc but she just looks sad and says 'they are for boys mummy' no amount of reassuring seems to help.

[Minty82]

Argh this makes me so cross!! Surely any animal is a unisex design??!! And green - apparently green is a boys' colour and no-one told me. I dressed DD in a green woolly hat (and some other clothes, obviously, but can't remember the rest of the outfit) when she was about 8mths, and she not only got mistaken for a boy, which I don't mind, but when I corrected them I got 'Why have you dressed her in a green hat then?'
It was a green woolly hat, with a big pompom and a picture of a sheep. The height of masculinity, I'm sure you'll agree.

All DD's babygros were unisex, partly because the stuff designed for girls was so uniformly marshmallow I couldn't stomach it, and partly so that they'll do for a future DC2 of either flavour. But half the time I had to buy them from the supposed boys' range. Rainbow stripes? Boy. Ducks in wellies? Boy. Elephants? Boy.

She's 14mths now, and I generally dress her in clothes that make it clear what sex she is (though not much pink), but the arbitrary designations of what is suitable for one or the other, and the rigidity with which you're supposed to stick to them make me livid. Thanks for the opportunity to rant!

PS Crocodile pyjamas sound fab!

[CockyFox]

girliefriend
that is sad that she won't wear things made for boys if she likes them. Do you wear mens clothes ever? I think the fact I often wear DHs jumpers and coats (and boxers but don't tell him) means DD doesn't think having boys clothes is odd.

[Goldmandra]

MarthasHarbour that link is so like my DD2! The plaits, the boys' clothes and the Lego. She'd be disgusted if a shop assistant suggested she should have pink PJs.

It makes for some interesting conversations when we have family meals out and my DSIS's two arrive in their coordinated designers dresses. I am usually feeling good if I've found something without stains or holes in that DD2 will wear. Grandparents do not approve but tough.

You know what. Children should wear what makes them feel good. That's what adults do

[AdoraBell]

YANBU

Many years ago I worked in a similar shop and we had primary colours for boys and pastels for girls. A customer asked a question, don't rememeber what now, and I had to give the marketing line because my supervisor was behind me - these are for girls and those are for boys.

Customer said that was utter rubbish, primary colours are primary colours and it makes no difference who wears them.

Same applies to your DD's pjs, I hope she enjoys her new crocodile pyjamas, they sound fab.

[BabyMakesTheBoobiesGoLeaky]

Dc3 has a lovely green coat and more often than not is wearing her red angry birds hat and her beloved jeans. people are often very unsure of whether to refer to her as he or she. Long brown haired boy or girl in brothers clothing?

[Lottapianos]

This issue turns me into Victor Meldrew screaming 'I DON'T BELIEVE IT! IN THE NAME OF SANITY!!! THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LIMIT!!!'

It boils every single one of my bodily fluids that so many people are so hung up on stereotyping boys and girls. It's just so conformist and stifling and dictatorial. I work in Early Years and I promise you that EY professionals can be the absolute worst for 'boys do this, girls do that' nonsense. It makes me want to howl at the moon.

My beautiful little niece is going to be 1 year old this summer and because I'm a saddo organised, I bought her birthday card the other day. I deliberately wanted to choose one without pink and glitter and sh1t all over it because both me and her mum hate how pink is forced on little girls. So I chose one with a teddy holding a blue balloon which read 'Look Who's One'. So cute. When the assistant rang it up, it came up on the till as 'Birthday Card - Boy' I said nothing because it's hardly the assistant's fault but FFS - why must absolutely everything be divided into stuff that's suitable for only one gender at a time?????

I guess all we can do is keep on frothing very loudly about it and sharing the misery on here!

[Remotecontrolduck]

Argh that would have pissed me off, she was probably trying to be helpful but sadly is a bit ignorant.

DD would have loved the crocodile ones, and the cat ones. I probably would have got her both. I wonder what the lady would have said then?

[CockyFox]

These are the pajamas in question:
www.clothingattesco.com/nightwear/f+f-2-pack-of-crocodile-snappy-pyjamas/invt/am311136/

[IsabelleRinging]

Where did this all start? In the 70s there were no girls and boys colours or animals, there were just colours and animals and kids wore what they liked. Nobody would have been seen dead wearing pink back then!

[BabyMakesTheBoobiesGoLeaky]

Oh I love them. Dc2 would love them.

[Januarymadness]

far more of dds pjs are from the "boys" section. Boys pjs are much more fun

[Perspective21]

Ten years ago my DD's favourite shirt was navy with a bold printed tiger on the front. She wore it with her beloved, ruffled, denim skirt...and still was referred to as a boy!!

I concluded people just don't really look and sadly many people do not think and accept marketing as reality!

Let your girls choose bold colours, vibrant prints and wild animals...these are not solely the preserve of boys

[BabyMakesTheBoobiesGoLeaky]

Probably when hand me downs became less common and the money making pinkeratti honed in on girls.

[miffybun73]

YANBU

Though my 3 year old DD gravitates towards pink and purple she loves wearing her brother's PJs that he's outgrown - dinosaurs, Cars 2, Postman Pat, Cat in the Hat.

She absolutely loves dinosaurs thanks to he brothers influence and her obsession with Dino Dan (on cITV)

[girliefriend]

They are fab pjs Cocky!

No I don't really wear anything 'masculine' I am quite girly (hence the name ) but dds not at all.

I just go with it now, she is not fussed about clothes at all as long as they are practical and comfy. I have tried to get her t.shirts from the 'boys' section before and she isn't keen and I think its because she is worried other kids might tease her (she is 7yo) yesterday I nearly bought her some chinos as I liked the colour and couldn't work out why they are just for boys

I think clothes and toys are more gender specific now than they have ever been which makes me

[Squigglypig]

Great pajamas OP. YANBU and well done for not telling the shop assistant to feck off, which I would have been sorely tempted to do.

[DoctorRobert]

Must be a Tesco staff thing...

Was in Tescos at the weekend, needed a new changing mat for DD. Chose blue as our bathroom is blue & I also actively try to avoid too much pink.

As it went through the checkout, the lady said to me "Oh, somebody must have had a boy!" I replied that no, I have a daughter and don't go in for the whole blue is for a boy pink is for a girl rubbish.

She looked at me as if I was absolutely mad.

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

Also we found last year that the girls' shorts pj's were high cut and kept going up her bottom. Boys' ones come down to just above her knee and are so much more comfortable. Ridiculous

[Lottapianos]

'She looked at me as if I was absolutely mad'

People just can't seem to get their head around it, can they? Are they the same people who warn mums of 2 year old boys not let him help with the cleaning as it will 'turn him gay', as one lovely person said to parent I know recently?

[BaronessBomburst]

DS is three and likes to choose his own things. He has red jeans from the girls section, a pink Miss Piggy cup, and a Minnie Mouse bag. He likes red and pink. I couldn't care less.

[Idontknowhowtohelpher]

dd2 (11) wears all "boys" pyjamas as she likes them best - but she has asked me to buy her some girlie ones to wear on her school residential trip as she is worried the other girls will laugh at her...

[Minty82]

Someone actually said that Lotta?!! No way??!!!

The changing mat thing is ludicrous. As is people buying gender specific prams, buggies etc when they intend to have more than one child. That I really don't get. (I mean, I don't get why you would want a gender specific pram even if it was only going to have to do for one maybe, but when it means you're going to 'have' to trade it in for a new one...? Weird.)

[LadyBigtoes]

Mad. I often look in the boys' section for DD, to broaden our choice and include some more exciting clothes/more colours. Her favourite pjs are Gap "boys" astronaut ones in dark blue. They look absolutely great on her. She likes the "girl" things, like fluffy kittens, as well.

I am a feminist and spend large amounts of energy actively resisting these categories and trying to avoid giving my kids any subliminal messages (eg saying astronaut to them, not spaceman). But a lot of people don't think that way, girls' stuff is for girls and boys' stuff is for boys. From that POV the assistant probably really thought you needed a push in the "right" direction.

Stuff like this shows how very ingrained gender inequalities are.

[Scruffey]

The assistant was trying to help. It is unfortunate that she has been indoctrinated, so I wouldn't hold it against her.

I dressed my dd in all different colours including ds hand me downsbut once she went to nursery when she was 3, she wanted everything pink and at 5 she still does. She is obsessed with fairies, princesses and looking pretty and she learnt this from other children. I am a bit of a tomboy and dd lusts after high heels that she sees her friends mums in!