to quit my job in this climate?

[burntoutteacher]

Hi all

Need some MN wisdom, regular ( although not on AIBU), have namechanged as I dont want to out myself. This is more of a wwyd to be honest.

I am a secondary school teacher, been in job 8 years, at top of pay scale and also have extra responsibilities. However I am miserable. School are heaping more and more work on me, I rarely leave the building before 6, later some nights, then im back in front of my computer screen when dd is in bed. Admittedly some parts of the year are worse than others and I am currently in the middle of one of the crap parts (exam season), but I want to leave. Other things are swamping me about the job, increasing targets, incredible scrutiny from parents, heads, bloody Gove, Ofsted. There also feels to be a culture of kids being encouraged by pastoral leaders to complain about teachers and I have spent the last month defending myself against things I'm supposed to have said or done to upset xyz kid. Its exhausting and so damaging for the self esteem, I feel crap at my job in spite of gettting good results.
Heres the thing, I want out of teaching completely because I feel done with it. My DP is postively encouraging me to resign and said he will finanacially support me through a careeer change (socia work or OT) and although it would be tight, he could cover it. I can't help but feel though that it is madness to walk out of a well paying job without another one to go to, and one that lots of people would love to have. .
I'm in my mid 30's, one child and the idea of being a full time student while dp works his backside off feels so self indulgent to me. There is a deadline to resign coming up (31stMay) and I just cant write the letter. DP is getting increasingly frustrated with my indecisiveness and feels that I am being unreasonable not to take his offer but then complain about being unhappy.

AIBU? does anyone else think that it would be crazy to just leave and sort out a course/another job after I've left? my mum is climbing the walls btw, thinks im throwing everything away, which fills me with more doubt, that I am indeed..... 'throwing it all away'

[burntoutteacher]

Sorry that I didn't come back to the thread last night, I was taken away by ....a huge stack of marking!

Thank you all SO much for the replies, I was delighted to see so many this morning! The ones with specific advice on where to get work exp etc are really helpful and it's made me realise I probably don't know enough about being an OT to say I want a career in it.

For those of you who say I might regain my love of teaching elsewhere...I have to be honest and say I've never 'loved it' nor did I even plan to be a teacher ( always imagined I would end up in health care as that's my degree) but it just happened. I like it though and I think that's enough - not many people are fortunate to love the work they do, and I don't think I'm entitled to be passionately in love with my work when I'm lucky enough to have a career in the first place. That said, it's now affecting my well-being ( have developed a driving anxiety on the way to work which has seen me being put on beta blockers) and I just know I at least need to get out of the school I'm in.

Can anyone recommend any other job in health or care settings they think might give me the work kids balance I crave?!

[ipswitch]

Sorry havent read all the posts but just wanted to say as a NHS worker and partner works for social services...both of which place hugely increasing demands on us and we are both at burn out in these without the long holidays to recharge. Both of us work many extra hours at weekends and evenings and feel our jobs are defined by poor managers and never ending targets and unobtainable targets. We are drowning too.

Maybe think of something less stressy . I dream of working PT in a cake shop!

[LetMeAtTheWine]

I have just started a thread in chat about children's social work OP and a few people have raised some very good points. I am not sure how to link (sorry!) but if you head to fun and games and then chat it is called 'calling all children's social workers - is it the job for me?'

Good luck with your decision making!

[burntoutteacher]

Thanks will have a look in chat

Thanks to the poster who gave all that great info about supply teaching as well!

[DontmindifIdo]

I think the pressures you are complaining about are going to be there with any state sector job. sorry, but you are going to find the same problems with whatever area you go into if you are determined to stay public service employee. It might be worth looking at roles within the private sector at least for a year or two (private schools, boarding schools?)

[burntoutteacher]

The more I read the posts on here the more I am swaying towards supply, which I know isn't great either but at least I could leave at a reasonable hour and choose to work less days if I needed to. ( I have missed almost every assembly my dd is in because the school wouldn't release me for 40 minutes, they don't mind me staying until 7pm though or running support sessions in the holidays unpaid( there is zero goodwill there, absolutely zero)

[ComposHat]

OP I don't know how to say this without it coming across as an attack (it really isn't meant like that at all)

Anyway here goes....

I think you have not wholly realistic understanding of what the world of work is like. Not many professions will allow you to head off for your daughter's assemblies when you feel like. Most jobs that pay anywhere near what a teacher earns will expect evening and out of hours work. It is perhaps unrealistic to want to earn a good professional salary and enjoy professional status, but have a clock on/clock off mentality of hourly paid casual staff.

It sounds like you might have fallen into the trap that teachers fall into of 'nobody has it as bad as teachers syndrome.' Yes, teaching is a demanding job and teachers are put upon by governments of all stripes, but not over and above nursing or social work.

I was a bit narked with the suggestion that social work would be 'easier' or 'less stressful' than teaching TBH. I can assure you it isn't.

[DontmindifIdo]

ComposHat has a point, most other jobs paying a similar level would expect you to book time off to see your DD's assemblies out of your holiday allowance, which would be fine, but you would probably only get in the region of 20 - 25 days for the whole year and would have to cover school holidays in that - so in practice, most working parents don't feel they can take a morning off to go to a school assembly as that means an extra half day of paid childcare in the school Summer/Easter/Christmas/half term holidays.

If your DH can support you financially and you don't need your wage, then looking for supply or a part time role might be better.

[burntoutteacher]

Compos, I don't think I did suggest that social work was easy. I absolutely know it isn't. I think you think I'm after a free ride, or that I'm lazy, but I can assure you that it isn't the case. The reason I mentioned my dd's assemblies is because I've worked in several schools before this one where if you are on a free lesson and it doesn't impact on teaching and learning, you will be allowed to go. My school does not, and they are resolute about it, without really giving a reason why they are saying no. I referred to goodwill, because I think it all professional jobs that a good manager will work from the basis that staff won't abuse a system if you meet them half way.

I don't think that teachers have it harder than other professional jobs either. I do know though, that (perhaps social work aside) there are few that have to deal with the abuse ( and I mean real abuse) and scrutiny that we face in some schools.
I was called a 'fucking fat cunt' on my first day at my current school, and I quickly came to realise that this was nothing compared to what I would face after that.

[Schooldidi]

It really sounds to me as if it's your school that's the problem rather than teaching altogether. I've been in 2 schools where someone has called me vile names like you mentioned. The first school dealt with it absolutely brilliantly, the child was well known by the pastoral staff and I felt very, very supported over the incident. The other school, when I told the head of house, she was lovely and wanted to deal with it, but she was overruled by senior management and that child was back in my lessons the following day having received no punishment at all.

If you could get a different school with more support I think you would find it's not teaching that's driving you out, simply that particular school. I know I felt very differently about teaching once I got into a school that supported teachers in dealing with bad behaviour of pupils.

[zenoushka]

Life is too short. Seriously. Follow your gut instinct. I quit my job as a journalist 3 months ago, and it was the best decision I ever made. I was unhappy, stressed, eating badly, not sleeping, crying all the time. Just a complete mess.

Like you I have a DH who I've been able to rely on and has supported me over these past 3 months while I take time to breathe again and get myself healthy. Yes it was a risk quitting a job in this current climate. Knowing that I was going to quit sooner rather than later had meant that my last 6 months in the job I tried to save as much as possible.

Feel so much better now and finally feel like I have my passion for life and working back again. Have begun freelancing, not making anywhere near what I was making financially, but for the sake of my sanity and health was the best decision I made. Good luck! X

[ComposHat]

I do know though, that (perhaps social work aside) there are few that have to deal with the abuse ( and I mean real abuse) and scrutiny that we face in some schools.

I don't think that you are being lazy at all, but was a bit worried that you were thinking the 'grass is always greener.'

Most public sector public sector roles feature at least on a par with what either of us have experienced. Friends who are Nurses, coppers, carers (earning minimum wage) and friends who worked in council housing departments have stories that have topped mine.

As others have said, the problem seems to be the school you are at, maybe try to move before jacking it all in.

[burntoutteacher]

I want to stop feeling afraid. Like another poster just said...the climate of fear is always there....hanging in the air, and like another poster said, she was always worried she would be found out to be a fraud. I feel the same- even in my last job where I loved the school and my results were excellent, I just can never shake off the feeling that I'm crap. I just want a job that doesn't do that to me. Like I said upthread - I don't need to love my job, as I think that's rather a luxury rather than a right, I just need to stop feeling so damn bad about myself.

[albertcamus]

As a teacher of 25 years' experience, currently in 10th year at a 'RI' school in a 'challenging area', I would echo Schooldidi's words : If you could get a different school with more support I think you would find it's not teaching that's driving you out, simply that particular school. I know I felt very differently about teaching once I got into a school that supported teachers in dealing with bad behaviour of pupils

It's only human for you to be upset about one 'claim' after another, of course you take it personally ... but this is a typical and very widespread feature of the blame culture in which we are working; you won't necessarily escape this in any job involving service users / vulnerable people / cr*p management which is not immediately obvious when you gratefully accept a job.

Please stop blaming yourself and see the 'pastoral leaders' for what they often are : complete failures who are promoted beyond their (often limited) ability for services rendered to manipulative SLT/Heads who lack the skills to create trusting cultures in their schools.

The best skill you can hone is resilience - dig deep, good luck with whatever you choose.

Apologies to any offended pastoral leader, I'm sorry to generalise here, but I'm basing my cynical observations on the four, varying, secondaries I've worked in. I lead four subjects KS3/4/5, but couldn't / wouldn't do a pastoral job.

[hamdangle]

Have you thought about FE? I teach in college and there is no where near the pressure on results here. We are respected and treated like adults and trusted to teach in our own way. No one sits and goes through our students' results because there is also the understanding that students have responsibility for their own progress too.

Classes are mostly lovely to teach because they all actually want to be there and there is actual recourse if students don't do work or attend classes. There are no problems with behaviour. There is a lot of flexibility with hours too.

There is still a lot of marking for me but this is because I teach only A level so have to mark tons of coursework. Others here choose to teach other levels such as GCSE resits, adult learning and literacy to lighten the load as there is hardly any marking.

I have also worked in adult learning and that is also very rewarding and less stressful.

[claig]

'she was always worried she would be found out to be a fraud. I feel the same- even in my last job where I loved the school and my results were excellent, I just can never shake off the feeling that I'm crap. I just want a job that doesn't do that to me.'

Is it that you are doing it to yourself rather than the job doing it to you? Is it to do with the way you are viewing it and thinking about it? You feel this way, but some teachers at the same school probably don't feel that way at all. I think you may end up doing the same to yourself in another job that you do, because you are to some extent creating the pressure by the way that you are viewing things.

It is difficult but it may be worth trying to change the perspective and think differently about it.

I don't know anything about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but I have read that it can help you to think in a different way and to focus on the positive. That might be worth looking in to.

I don't know how good teaching unions are, but maybe it is worth becoming active in the union in trying to change the pressure and reviews. This could help you to feel in charge of your fate rather than just being subject to the monitoring etc.

[maddy68]

I'm a teacher myself and wondering the same thing. It's becoming a thankless job. I spent all weekend working and for what ?
I think I will give it another year. Try to bank some cash and then I'm off.

[GoblinGranny]

claig, it is the climate in a lot of schools. You're always in the crosshairs, and you often don't see it coming.

[sweetsoulsister]

I took the plunge burnoutteacher and life has never been better.

I felt just like you did - I would be self indulgent, it would be ridiculous to leave a career that should be a life long career, I should find another career before I left the first one, what if something happens to DP and he can't work and I'm not working...and the excuses went on. My husband had had enough of my excuses as well.

It took me two years of stress and pain (two years ago I was in year 8 of teaching as well!!) and finally I handed in my notice to finish at the Easter break. So I have been officially off for a few weeks, the stress lifted off my shoulders in waves, each day I felt better and better, my creativity came back, ideas started flowing, I started enjoying my home, my kids, my husband, my LIFE! Teaching these days is sucking the life out of us. It's wrong!

As a back up for my financial/future worries I signed up with a supply agency who have offered me a lot of work - none of which I've taken yet. I've been doing a few hours for a head teacher I know as a casual staff member and it's okay although I'm doing this more as a favour and would rather not be in a school environment at the moment.

but what I'm trying to say to you is that if you are that unhappy it is not the right place for you. I know how you are feeling and I know that it is hard, but if you have your husband there to support you financially and emotionally just write that bloody letter and get your life back because your family needs you, you need you, life needs you and although teaching is an admirable profession it is not our fault that it has come to this point. The more teachers who leave due to the unreasonable workload and pressures of the job will hopefully bring about the changes needed to allow us back into it with our sanity intact.

And that is my other point - we can always go back to it when we feel ready. In the meantime, trust yourself.

(I apologise if this message is a bit repetitive, after reading your initial post I jumped right in without reading any of the other messages.)

[JackieTheFart]

Resign.

I would. Sounds exhausting and stressful.

[burntoutteacher]

Ah claig, maybe you're right and I need to change my thought processes but there is honestly so many things wrong (IMO) about the way my current school operates that I just can't bear to work there any longer. I'm wondering if a lot of people are right about needing to simply change schools rather than retrain. I just feel, well 'burnt out' and want to run away from teaching altogether, but appreciate that it is probably stress making me feel this way.
With regards to a FE, I originally trained in FE and although I've never actually taken a job in it, I always assumed it was a very insecure place a to work in terms of contracts etc, but it's certainly good for thought. I used to be such a positive person and literally don't know who I am any more. I am definitely negative and I know that's how I'm viewed where I now work. A colleague once described me sarcastically to another colleague by saying : oh, she's just a little ray of sunshine' . The same teacher also told new staff to stay away from me because I was 'mad'.

I'm pretty sure that's how I come across with my long face all the time!

[MeNeedShoes]

Change schools before you change the job. The trouble is quite often it is other shit schools who have the high turnovers and vacancies - but it's worth a try.

[SomethingOnce]

Pay attention at the back, Gove!

You see these intelligent, articulate, committed professionals on this thread, and the things they are saying? Can you see a theme?

[shakes head in despair]