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AIBU?

to quit my job in this climate?

145 replies

burntoutteacher · 12/05/2013 15:21

Hi all

Need some MN wisdom, regular ( although not on AIBU), have namechanged as I dont want to out myself. This is more of a wwyd to be honest.

I am a secondary school teacher, been in job 8 years, at top of pay scale and also have extra responsibilities. However I am miserable. School are heaping more and more work on me, I rarely leave the building before 6, later some nights, then im back in front of my computer screen when dd is in bed. Admittedly some parts of the year are worse than others and I am currently in the middle of one of the crap parts (exam season), but I want to leave. Other things are swamping me about the job, increasing targets, incredible scrutiny from parents, heads, bloody Gove, Ofsted. There also feels to be a culture of kids being encouraged by pastoral leaders to complain about teachers and I have spent the last month defending myself against things I'm supposed to have said or done to upset xyz kid. Its exhausting and so damaging for the self esteem, I feel crap at my job in spite of gettting good results.
Heres the thing, I want out of teaching completely because I feel done with it. My DP is postively encouraging me to resign and said he will finanacially support me through a careeer change (socia work or OT) and although it would be tight, he could cover it. I can't help but feel though that it is madness to walk out of a well paying job without another one to go to, and one that lots of people would love to have. .
I'm in my mid 30's, one child and the idea of being a full time student while dp works his backside off feels so self indulgent to me. There is a deadline to resign coming up (31stMay) and I just cant write the letter. DP is getting increasingly frustrated with my indecisiveness and feels that I am being unreasonable not to take his offer but then complain about being unhappy.

AIBU? does anyone else think that it would be crazy to just leave and sort out a course/another job after I've left? my mum is climbing the walls btw, thinks im throwing everything away, which fills me with more doubt, that I am indeed..... 'throwing it all away'

OP posts:
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BeyonceCastle · 12/05/2013 18:38

Coming back briefly to supply work- if you are Manchester based you will have Manchester, Stockport, Oldham, Rochdale, Bury, Trafford and Tameside LEAs all within your radius - depending on how far you are prepared to travel (bearing in mind petrol/wear and tear on car will come out of whatever money you make).

You can sign on directly to the LEA pools and to as many supply agencies as you like - but unless you are attempting to get all your work with one agency (this is my main employer box) you do have to be careful re tax.
You will need to submit a tax return and possibly take a tax hit upfront if working with multiple agencies and get money back at end of year (if you want to avoid the opposite where each agency has you as a main employee then you face a tax bill later).

Bear in mind:

The agency is out to make money on you and will try and do the following unless you are firm about what you want:

Get you for the minimum amount per day - which they will then be inflating for the schools to make their profit
Get you in a school for the longest period of time - for which they continue to charge school per day or charge for a finders' fee
Get you as a newbie to travel the farthest
just to get the placement
Get you as a newbie to work in the most stressful schools
as you don't know any better

A lot of schools as I said have permanent cut price supply cover supervisors in place so this means the agencies are more competitive/cut throat

A lot of schools you are covering for therefore is stress-related illness i.e. burnt out teachers or long-term absence i.e. illness whereby the kids have had a succession of short term staff and buggering about

Or a vacancy they cannot fill ask yourself why

Or they have an Ofsted inspection Grin

It is a great experience to find out just how good you are, strong you are, how inventive you can be...if times have changed while I have been away please let me know but often you might find you have to think on your feet and think fast before being heckled or told 'they did that last week etc'

Many kids will happily write off supply before you've opened your mouth
especially disaffected pupils because of long-term staff absence.
You will need to know as soon as you walk through the door:

The names of the five heads of year or equivalent (To namedrop)
The on-call policy/hod support and how it relates to supply
The usual - stand up at start,coats off, bags on floor, logbooks out etc for you to record or threaten to record poor behaviour
Copies of pupil lists or access to sims - else the piece of paper you send round will have Ben Dover Theresa Green Hugh Jarse etcetera
Have spare equipment with you but ensure you get it back
Have some kind of plan B (even if how many words can you get out of
longer word) while waiting for work to arrive if it has been set

Not trying to put you off honestly. But it can be a baptism of fire and although you leave it all behind at 3.30, keep your own spreadsheet of where you will go etc, it can be very stressful if you actually want to deliver something if you are happy letting them kill each other and make paper planes then it is probably entirely stress-free but then you perpetuate the supply myth/stereotype and you won't get asked back.

When I first started doing supply a decade ago I was on 85 pounds a day - when I threatened to go to another agency - suddenly this was upped to 100 pounds a day. My best was 125 pounds a day and this was ten years ago but it was before the advent of using non-qualified, hltas, LCS etc

i.e. when the supply agencies had schools by the short and curlies and the supply costs were a huge proportion of the budget.

No idea what you would get now - would be interested if a supply came on and told me - but although sums sounded astronomical back then the lack of work at starts of terms and in summer, petrol, car wear and tear and then the unpaid holidays meant you were still working at half rate (but fine if you didn't need all the days iyswim)

If doing a longer stint i.e. a maternity cover I would always be looking in the locals or the TES as opposed to via an agency but often an agency will get you the placement as an introduction so you are then stuck unless the school agrees the finders' fee instead (better to have school contract than agency as is cheaper for school and you can continue to pay into your pension)

Forgot to mention pensions - BIG plus for you staying in the profession but switching school is your pension/pension rights unless you were entirely screwed over

My teachers' pension is frozen and my local govt tiny one as a 'supervisor' not great - now also frozen. So whatever you choose to do in the future needs to take this into account too.

Good luck in whatever you decide x

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AntoinetteCosway · 12/05/2013 19:04

OP I'm in almost exactly the same situation as you-I'm 29, one DD, hate my pretty-well-paid secondary English job. I've quit Grin I'm going to be a SAHM and tutor. After nursery fees I was earning next to nothing for the privilege of being miserable at work. Follow your heart!

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Inertia · 12/05/2013 21:00

Just to say that you don't have to make the decision by 31st May or wait a year- you can leave at Christmas or Easter too if you don't feel ready to make a decision yet.

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kim147 · 12/05/2013 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ubik · 12/05/2013 21:13

By the way

Have you thought about Speech and Language therapy?

And a friend works as an OT in mental health and loves her job. Smile

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SageYourResoluteOracle · 12/05/2013 21:20

I agree with others who've said to go for it!

In a past life I was a deputy head teacher and it was a nightmare. I was often working in excess of 80 hours per week and even pre-Gove, pre-ofsted changes, it was too much (there were other things going on in the school too). I was miserable with exhaustion and stress so I handed in my resignation at the start of the autumn term. The summer holiday had given me plenty time to reflect and the thought of another year at that place, doing that job made me feel physically sick. Very fortunately I landed a job quickly (still in education but consultancy) and it saved my sanity! I took a small pay cut but you can't put a price on happiness, I think.

More recently, after having DD, I've totally reassessed my priorities and although DH is earning half what he used to since losing his job, I took the plunge and now work with my little girl at a nursery. We are skint but happier than we've been in a long while.

FWIW, schools are generally very difficult places to work in at the moment and I'm glad I'm no longer teaching. I have friends who have taught all their adult lives also wanting out as tough just got tougher!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Relaxedandhappyperson · 12/05/2013 21:30

My sister's just resigned, with no particular plans, because all the OFSTED stuff is changing a tough job into an impossible one.

Go for it, I say. She has to do the rest of this terms but is a million times more relaxed even so as she knows it will soon come to an end. Find something you like to do, which gives you satisfaction and an enjoyable life.

Have you considered accountancy? (my field - and much more interesting than you'd think)

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BendyBusBuggy · 12/05/2013 21:30

I agree that you should change something if you're unhappy. Have you tried talking to your head? Do they know you're unhappy and thinking of leaving? If they don't they would probably appreciate the opportunity to improve things rather than lose you. Perhaps you could go part time while you're studying, that would mean you contribute financially and you keep your foot in? Or perhaps change to another school? I always find the colleagues make a huge difference to my happiness at work and you mentioned it's not a nice environment.

I wish you good luck with whatever choice you make.

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nenevomito · 12/05/2013 21:39

I'd go for it. I think your OH is right about social work being out of the frying pan into the fire though.

I got out of teaching many moons ago and have never regretted it for one moment.

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snuffy143 · 12/05/2013 21:58

I agree with all the above - I resigned 18 months ago after 15 years teaching for some of the reasons listed - mostly work/life balance was completely wrong. I now work for Cambridge Assessment (I actually work for OCR on GCE Sciences) and it is the most brilliant job. It is also why I am on MN at this time on a Sunday night and not frantically planning lessons or marking. I have my life back. Simples. Do it. ASAP.

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Tanith · 12/05/2013 22:55

Are you sure it's teaching you're sick of, and not just the job you're in?

There are many jobs you could take your skills to without requiring further study.
Perhaps you could move into the private sector, further education, private tutoring or prison teaching. It might help to try a different teaching job before you entirely burn your bridges.

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MeNeedShoes · 12/05/2013 23:17

Is a career break an option? Just to get some head space and the chance to find another job in a more chilled out school?

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mummymeister · 12/05/2013 23:22

exchanging one public sector job for another isn't necessarily going to deal with all the issues that you talk about OP. I gave up a public sector job 10 yrs ago to go self employed in the private sector. glad I did it but am under no illusions that it has been/continues to be damn hard. the school hols issue is ever present plus my pension was frozen when I left and try as I might I cannot afford anything like this in the private sector. Also how will you feel if you retrain then cannot get a job in the new also public sector profession? can you ask the school for a sabbatical - a term off so that you can have a think away from the stress as to what you need. not sure if this is possible but am worried about bridge burning when finding good decent well paid jobs is still damn tough. for as many people saying go for it there will be the same number telling you to hang on. only you know how desperately you hate your current job.

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evilartsgraduate · 12/05/2013 23:23

I agree with your husband. I'm a social worker and the hours are as bad as or worse than you describe and fewer "official" (I do realise that the 'long summer holiday' can be anything but for teachers) leave days. Plus there is a lot of computer time, possibly a lot more.

OT seems to be a bit more "defined" in terms of skill set, but mostly they work for Local Authorities as well and vacancies can be hard to come by.

Agree with others about finding something else before quitting as you need to keep up momentum (I'm sure this is the least of your worries atm though:-))

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morethanpotatoprints · 12/05/2013 23:23

You only live once and life is for living.
Go for it.
Your dp supports you and you can afford it, where's the problem?
Its not like you ever forget how to be a good teacher. The pace of change is so quick anyway and government never leave a system alone. You would be constantly retraining for something anyway.

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claig · 13/05/2013 00:31

'School are heaping more and more work on me, I rarely leave the building before 6, later some nights, then im back in front of my computer screen when dd is in bed.'

these sort of pressures may also be part of any new job that you do, particularly as it will be a job in which you have probably not had previous experience.


'Other things are swamping me about the job, increasing targets, incredible scrutiny from parents, heads, bloody Gove, Ofsted. There also feels to be a culture of kids being encouraged by pastoral leaders to complain about teachers and I have spent the last month defending myself against things I'm supposed to have said or done to upset xyz kid. Its exhausting and so damaging for the self esteem, I feel crap at my job in spite of gettting good results.'

It is possible that the pressure and criticism are undermining your self confidence and your belief that you are doing a good job. The negative thoughts can create a spiral and drag your self esteem further down which can make you feel out of your depth and depressed.

I think it might be worth breaking the negative spiral by thinking positively and concentrating on what you do well, on the successes that you have had and the help that you have given to students. Try to treat the pressures and management and Ofsted as hurdles and obstacles that prevent you from doing what you are good at. Try to minimise their importance and don't let them becomea focus. Always focus on the work you do that helps pupils learn. Believe in yourself and what you do and ignore the scrutiny and reviews. Turn the situation around, remember what you are good at, and ignore these obstacles that are put in your path.

We are living in a period where politicians believe in targets and reviews and monitoring and performance evaluation and child-centred criticism of teaching staff and ignore the great work that teachers do. Most of these reviews etc are for the sake of the system, so that politicians can report on increased performance, while ignoring the stress levels caused that reduce the quality of output. It is a culture of tickboxes, facts and figures and child-centred evaluation of teachers' performance that indicates a distancing from old-fashioned common sense policies on teaching. It will eventually change when the fashion changes. Things change, just like UKIP has shaken up the system and forced it to listen to ordinary people and common sense, so teaching will eventaully return to common sense.

Stay positive, focus on what you do well, try to ignore the hurdles they put in your path and don't let the bastards grind you down.

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claig · 13/05/2013 00:37

In a couple of years' time. the Tories may lose the election and Gove may no longer be in charge of education. the progressives may get back in, and they may change things.

Hang on in there, the fog will lift.

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claig · 13/05/2013 00:53

All of these targets and monitoring and scrutiny are the legacy of New Labour's target system - the same type of thing they introduced in hospitals, where they reported on high satisfaction rates and high service while the reality was different. It is the same in education. they told us standards were rising inexorably, while employers said the opposite.

They used to play a song at New Labour conferences which had the chorus "things will only get better". Of course it was a sick joke, and the health scandals finally showed it.

But it can't go on forever. Common sense will return, the people will demand change and they will vote politicians out and things really will get better in the end.

Teaching is a great job. Stick with it, there will eventually be a return to common sense, just as there will be in healthcare too.

The people have had enough and told them so at the ballot box, and you have had enough of teaching.

Don't let them drive you out of a good profession where you help children learn. The fashion has already started to change and things will really start to get better.

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ComposHat · 13/05/2013 01:21

I agree with those who say that it might be a good idea to wait until you have a firm plan in place and hopefully a place on a course, rather than just banging in your notice in.

I'd also look into your career options more closely - I can't see how social work would be an improvement on the situation you feel demoralised by?

If anything the hours are longer and even less predictable S.services and unsociable hours are often the norm. Departments have to have duty social workers on call in the office on call throughout the night and everyone takes a turn on the rota Also if there's a problem with a case at five to five, you can't just walk away at five, sometimes you can be there until the wee small hours of the morning.

The stress, the huge caseloads, the pressure to take on more, the pressure to close cases when you feel the family still needs help, the hoop jumping, formal inspections, adults complaining, kids making unfounded allegations are also part of life in a social care department. (Been there, got the t-shirt)

You also get the added bonus of less holiday (and when you are away the caseload keeps mounting up) and lower pay too.

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amigababy · 13/05/2013 01:39

I recently left a school admin job with the support of dh as I was under too much pressure. It has been a huge relief since I left. At the same time one of the teachers left, she got a job with a charity project mentoring disaffected children for 3 years. Still hard work but out of the classroom, away from the Ofsted/Gove environment. I think we both made the right move out of school. If you can, I'd go for it.

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Boomshackalack · 13/05/2013 02:48

Haven't read all of the pages, but I could have written something similar a few years back. Felt over the career I trained in (OT funnily enough), worked full-time, increasing pressure all around, toxic workplace and culture, got as high as I wanted to on the 'ladder' but costs to mental health etc. Money was great though!

DP encouraged and supported me to leave, but I had the 'gotta find another job first' mentality, which was also what my parents had conditioned me to believe. Long story short, straw broke camels back and I quit without anything else to go to. Did part-time work here and there and finally started making a bit more money but a fraction of the income I was used to. But you know, I'm not a stressed out mess any more, I'm happy and feel like my life is more on track (despite a difficult few years for other reasons). We don't have mortgage or dependents at the time I changed direction though, which probably made the choice a wee bit more straightforward though.

Before all this, my response to you would probably be 'keep looking elsewhere and don't quit until you have something else to go to', however after 15 months of doing just this myself and not seeing any other opportunities that wouldn't be 'out of the frying pan into the fire', I'm inclined to say 'do what you need to, to keep yourself healthy'. You can't buy back your health.

OT assistant does sound like a good way to see if that role is really what you think it is . . . and I do think it would be a great job although iirc most of them are part-time posts?? Could you contact a local OT department and see if you could arrange a work shadowing role for a few weeks/days? During the holidays. there might be limitations for confidentiality on exactly what areas you might be able to do this (ie mental health), might be that you get to meet a few different OT's but not with client contact?

Its been a while since I trained (cough cough 15-18 years), so not sure how much things have changed in that time (feck that sounds like AGES!!) wrt intake requirements, but I seem to recall prior experience as being important - yeah a load of us went in straight from school, but the 'mature' students really seemed to have a lot more drive and actual life experience as I recall, so don't write off what you could bring to this. Its not impossible . . . just I know that going through uni (fees and tuition and loans) is a lot different now than it was at the time I was there.

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Boomshackalack · 13/05/2013 03:12

oh and on reflection, out of my 3 friends who I trained with . . . I think only one of us is still working as an OT in public health (except she's not as she's having babies!!) - there is a high burnout rate in OT, think I have seen/heard of studies on it.
There can be ridiculous amounts of paperwork to cover your arse not just patient notes. Last place I worked (not in UK) required 3 different forms to be filled out just to get a raised toilet seat to a patient. Basic equipment, not complex.

OK you can leave at 4.30/5/whenever and have set hours, but CPD and increased targets often see people working at home as well. And I rarely used to leave on time . . I know a co-worker routinely would work an extra 2 - unpaid - hours a day just to stay on track (and she was super-organised at the best of times, so wasn't just her crap time management) more common the higher up you progress, as with most things I reckon.

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Toadinthehole · 13/05/2013 05:08

My DW's experience of Uk schools was evening meetings attended by worn-out teachers listening to someone droning on about some extra burden they had to shoulder. Questions about where the time to do this extra work were smothered with vapid droning about "efficiency savings".

This was in 1998.

Both Labour and the Tories have it in for public-sector workers. The Tories think they're lazy and need micro-managing. Labour don't hate them, but treat them just the same in the name of "accountability".

I expect only a Lib Dem-Green coalition would save the teaching profession. No chance of that. UKIP would probably just introduce mantatory beatings and recitations of Tennyson.

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GoblinGranny · 13/05/2013 05:31

'UKIP would probably just introduce mandatory beatings and recitations of Tennyson.'

For the teachers.

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Tanith · 13/05/2013 08:29

Claig: Ofsted, SATS, league tables, National Curriculum were all introduced by the last Conservative Government.

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