to think that 7pm is not "exceptionally early" bedtime

[fishandlilacs]

for a 5 yr old and 17m old.

A throw away remark from my friend the other day. We were chatting and I commented that my dd rarely sleeps past 6am, I hasten to add this was a comment not a complaint, as a household we have always got up around 6am asmy DH gets up for work at that time. My friend said "well they do go to bed exceptionally early" and it sounded quite judgey to me.
They go to bed at 7pm, the baby goes straight to sleep and DD sometimes reads in her bed for a bit but usually decides to turn the light out before 7.30, at weekends shes allowed up til 8. Any later and she gets tired and emotional and cant cope with school.

[Badgerwife]

Like it has been said above, I'd say 7pm is standard bedtime IN THE UK. In my mind 6pm would be 'exceptionally early' but not 7pm.

I live in the UK but I'm French and it feels early for me. DD goes to bed between 8pm and 9pm (she's 21 months) because it seems to agree with her and with us. She'd never see her dad if she went to bed any earlier. If we lived in France that would be even more true as shops and other businesses often stay open til 7pm so a lot of people come home later than in the UK; 7.30pm-8pm is standard dinner time in France.

[Bakingtins]

7pm in our house (2 + 6yr olds). The 6 yr old reads until 7.30pm. They are both up at 6.30-7am which is fine in the week and annoying at weekends! I don't really get the bit about SAHP - on days we both work the kids get home from nursery/after school club at 6 and need their bed even more than usual. An hour is plenty for tea, bath, story, bed.
Whatever suits your individual family though - as long as the children are getting enough sleep and everyone is happy with the situation.
What annoys me is my friend whose kids the same age as mine are never in bed until 10pm, so baby sitting for her is not a peaceful evening in front of the telly but full-on childcare. She constantly complains about not getting evenings to herself, but has never imposed an early bedtime. If it's broke then do something to fix it!

[manticlimactic]

MY DD went to bed before 7.30 right up until she was 11. I think 9.30 is late for a 9yo but my DD needed lots of sleep or she was a horror in the morning.

Now she's 16 she goes at the same time as me most nights. I long for the evenings of peace and quiet when she went to bed early. Make the most of it

[MrsMelons]

Yes 7pm in our house for DS2 who is just 5. He still wakes up about 6/615 but he could go to bed at 8 or 9pm and will still wake up then. DS1 (7) goes to his room at 730 but goes to sleep later and wakes up later, we also feel we need our grown up time.

I really thought 7pm was standard TBH for infant school children, it always was when I was growing up and most children I know under 10 don't go to bed later than 830 during the week, most by 8.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

I agree that if CBeebies thinks bedtime is 7pm to 6am that's a pretty good indication of when most small children are vaguely near bed.

My nearly 5yo is in pyjamas having a story at about 7, with light out at about half past. He typically sleeps for 11-12 hours so if he went much later he wouldn't be up in time for school.

[Awomansworth]

Our two (5) go to bed at 7pm... and sleep through until 6.30am - 7.30am.

The odd occasion they have gone later, did not result in them waking later.

[hotcrosbum]

No it's not.

ds was 6.30 until he was 6, then 7.30 until he was 7, then 8......he's now 10 and he goes to bed at 9.

[ouryve]

Mine have never gone that early, but they've never slept for more than 9-10 hours since they were tiny, anyway. My 6yo typically does 8pm to 5am in winter

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

My girls are 6 & 9 and they both go to bed at 7pm. They are not usually asleep before 8pm because we read and have a chat and a cuddle. They wake between 7 and 7.30am.

7pm is not exceptionally early, it is about average as far as I am aware.

[LemonsLimes]

By the sound of it her children wake up later than yours. So if they wake up at 7.30 (as mine do) then to get the same amount of sleep as yours they'd need to be in bed by 8.30. The NHS recommends 10 hours sleep per night for a 9 year old. www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx
So if her 9 year old daughter is waking up at 7.30, then going to sleep at 9.30 will get her enough sleep. Could she have picked up that you think her 9 year old goes to bed too late so is reacting defensively to this?

[FannyFifer]

That would be early in our household but the kids don't get up till 0800-0815.
They go to bed between 8-9, depending what clubs etc are on or if we go out for a walk or to the park after dinner.
Every family is different, 7 O'Clock bedtime wouldn't suit us but works for others.

[Pigsmummy]

I was hoping to do 8- 8 but my baby is getting very tired and it's now getting earlier and earlier :-(

[Nicolaeus]

I live in France and bedtime before 8.30pm is considered very early.

DS (19 months) is a terrible sleeper, and I used to struggle to get him to sleep (strick routine followed by hours spent sitting in a darkened room singing to him).

Now we've decided just to go with the flow and put him to bed when he's tired - which means he drops off in less than 5 minutes, so I am less stressed and cranky.

At the moment, this means he goes to bed around 9.30pm, but as we don't get back from work until 7.30pm (for one of us), he tends to get second winds then and when the other person gets back later. He's tending to wake around 7.30am atm.

Before the hour change he tended to sleep 8.30 - 6/6.30 (although not yet through the night ). 9-10 hours is his average.

Our friend's toddler used to go to bed at 11pm! but it suited their family.

[HenrySugar]

What I want to know is, in the cultures/countries where children stay up late, how do they possibly get enough sleep? They can't ALL be one of those kids who doesn't need much sleep.

I ask because we live in one of those countries. My dcs have to be up between 6 and 6.30, to leave for school by 7.10am. They are 7, 10 and 12 and go to bed at 7.30, 8.00 and 8.30. The 12yo pesters to go later like many of her friends but she would be cranky as hell with less sleep, I know because we've tried.

Many of the children we know are knocking on the door to play when my dcs are about to go to bed or already in bed. They tell me they go to bed by 10.30 or 11pm usually, and later at weekends. How do they function at school? The school hours are 7.30-3pm so it's not as if they can have a nap in the afternoon.

[greenformica]

7 is normal/average

[greenformica]

My kids get 12 hours sleep. 7 - 7.

They have been known to sleep 6 - 7 though.

If my kids sleep 8 - 7, they are winy and exhausted with in a day of so of late nights. Unbearable!

[Mumsyblouse]

Just to put the other side of it, I was made to go to bed at 6pm (yes 6pm) as a child and it was awful, staring out into space for hours, seeing how light it was outside even though the curtains were shut, and hearing the other children playing (I lived on a council estate and lots of the children were out til 8/9 in the summer). I did read, but it was boring.

So fine, if your children genuinely sleeep at 7 and don't wake til 6, but be a bit sensitive that if they are older than about 5/6, this may not be realistic til they are in their teens!

[Jan49]

I think 7pm or 8pm is common in the UK but to me 7pm seems early, though not exceptionally early.

HenrySugar, you could ask the question the other way around too: if most kids in the UK go to bed around 7 or 7.30pm, they can't all be the kids that need that much sleep, can they? TBH I think a lot of people put their kids to bed early because the parents want the evening to themselves, nothing to do with what sleep the kids need. Possibly if a child seems tired and cranky after a later night, it's just because it's unusual for them and they would adjust if they regularly went to bed later?

My ds started going to bed around 8.30-9pm once he started school but used to go to bed later before that. He gradually seemed to need to go to bed a bit earlier, probably around 8-8.30pm, and would be up at around 7-7.30am for school. I also don't see how you'd fit a 7pm bedtime in if both parents work FT. It only works if one parent is at home and collects the child from school.

[HenrySugar]

Jan49 yes but on average a child of say 7 needs 10-12 hours per night. If they are one of those who needs less they can go later but they are in the minority.

My dcs can cope with one late night but more than that and they are horrendous, tired, emotional and white as sheets. I don't think you can get used to less sleep if you are not naturally that way.

[Jan49]

If the average 7.y.o. needs 10-12 hours sleep, then within the average could be a child who needs 10 hours, goes to bed at 9.30pm on a school night and gets up at 7.30am. Or goes to bed at 9pm and gets up at 7am. So a child needing 10 hours wouldn't need to go to bed at 7pm, even if they had an extra early start for school at 6am. (The maths is sending me to sleep now!)

But maybe kids go to bed later in other countries because the average amount of sleep needed is not really 10-12 hours? I don't know. Maybe a child that goes to bed later sleeps better but for less time so they are no more tired than the child who has had longer.

[Nicolaeus]

It's an interesting question as to why children in other countries sleep less.

Thinking about my French friends. Their kids (5 and 2) go to bed around 10pm and get up at 7 (I think) for school (the 5 year old). The 2 year old naps anything from 1 to FIVE hours in the afternoon .

We stayed with them recently. On the Saturday the 5 year old napped 3 hours. The 2 year old napped 4 I'm not jealous cos my 19 month old only naps 2 hours at best oh no, not me

On the Sunday the 5 year old didn't nap at all and the 2 year old napped 3 hours.

No temper tantrums, no real crankiness. Thing is, both kids eat their evening meal with the adults. The first night we were there this was at 9.30pm and the second evening the parents made a real effort to 'eat early' which was 8.30pm.

We'd already decided not to even attempt to get our toddler eating with us and fed him at his usual time of 6.30pm.

To be honest, I enjoyed the few evenings where I managed to get DS to sleep by 8pm. But as it really is a struggle each night, it's become easier to wait for that tell-tale yawn and bundle him off to bed then.

It's noticeable that he is more willing to go to bed earlier on the weekend. Think he misses us both in the week as we both work FT and long hours.

[Squitten]

My 4.5yr old goes to bed at 7pm latest, sometimes earlier. He is an early riser, no matter what we do to make him sleep in longer for our own sanity. Ever since the mornings are getting lighter he wakes up at 6am without fail, even yesterday morning after a Sunday spent running around a zoo and bedtime at 8pm! He was just absolutely knackered in the afternoon.

My 2yr old goes to bed much later. He gets up around 6:30-7am and still naps for a good hour or so during the day. This means he's not tired at night until about 8:30-9pm. He is now sleeping through the night, thank goodness, so whilst I'd love him to sleep earlier, we're loathe to change anything about his routine!

[Nicolaeus]

Oh and generally, at the weekend, the 2 kids wake up around 9am jealous

[plummyjam]

On MN standard bedtime seems to be around 7pm which I do consider pretty early. Each to their own though.

I would like to know though for those of you who put your kids to bed at 7 or earlier do they have dinner with you or do you eat separately?

We would like DD to eat dinner with us when she goes onto food but we don't eat until 8 usually (currently 11 weeks old and her natural bedtime is 9pm).

[Mintyy]

I expect she was just making a throwaway comment and would be amazed to hear you had started a whole thread about feeling judged.

My children have never gone to bed before 8pm, but that is because dh gets home late from work and he always wanted to see them. And we never needed to be up before 7.30am.