Having terrible thoughts about my MIL HELP!!!

[mumtolilh]

First things first I would never harm my mil but I am about to loose it!!!
I've managed to ignore her for the best part of 8 years but she is seriously pushing my buttons!!!
First she says my sons name is stupid!
Then says I'm a wimp for having an epidural!
Then says she's gutted my son took after me in looks!
Then says constantly he's too thin (my lb is described as perfect by hv,gp etc (not that I have to defend myself)
She says he shouldn't have a bottle by now & that I should wrap him up more (he's dressed suitable for weather at all times) I could go on forever!!!
Well today she blatantly asks me (infront of oh) & other family members...struggling to loose your baby weight???
HOW RUDE!!!
I sound like a wimp because I cried when I drove home
This isn't me usually I'm quite thick skinned but I've got to the point where I'm having irrational thoughts & I seriously want to do something to her!!!
My oh just says ignore her but its been 8 years too long!
How does anyone in a similar situation cope without completely blowing up!??? lol
#rant over

[Sallyingforth]

Well done claremp7 and your OH. You have the support you deserve. Perhaps the OP should show your post to her OH.

[DontmindifIdo]

I would suggest you calmly tell your DH that you've been thinking, while he's happy to just ignore her as he's grown up thinking this is normal, you do'nt and you won't put up with it anymore, so next time she says anything insulting to you, you fully intend to give it back to her with both barrells. If that ends up with a split in the family and MIL being really upset, so be it. this is, unless he can think of a good alternative, and just ignoring her is not a good alternative for you. Leave him to think about it, but then say, well other options might be that he could take his mum to one side and tell her to stop, or if she says anything insulting to say "oi mum, that's a bit rude!" etc, or he can do nothing, and wait until you go nuclear (also say you'll refuse to let your DC to go somewhere without you if it's likely your DC will hear people insulting you).

[DailyNameChanger]

Just stay away. My mil was always more in there when I visited without hub and much nicer to me when he was around. I think I'm a bit the same with her! So I came to the conclusion that hold on a minute, we're not mates, I'm married to her son so he can go and see her once a week which fair dos he does and that's fine and they would help us with anything and vice versa. But I don't visit alone. High days and holidays for me and we are perfectly charming to each other. If she doesn't like it, she shouldn't have been such a nightmare for twenty years lol. I would defo help her out in a crisis, or illness etc so I suppose I love her really but I have just recognised that we are not designed to spend much time together!!

[Goldmandra]

Just use the old MN classic every single time.

"Did you mean to be so rude?"

[BegoniaBampot]

I Think I would have to say something whether it's to challenge or just say something equally rude back to her but all passive aggressive sarcastic or with a friendly smile to really, really piss her off. luckily, my MIL is the exact opposite thank god!

[Pigsmummy]

Try asking (with a smile on your face) "did you mean to be so rude"? Mumsnet classic line that I had never used until recently and it bloomin works.

You have my sympathy, sadly she has got away with this bad behaviour so she thinks she can continue. Your DH (is there a FIL?) should have picked her up on this behaviour. If the role was reversed would you let a member of your family be rude to your DH on a regular basis?

[KippersAndMackerel]

Just reply in a PA way back to each PA comment. So if she makes a comment about weight, say"oh I've been loosing gradually, how long did you try to loose yours for before you gave up?" etc. it can't start an argument as you are just saying the same, if she does argue just say 'oh I thought you wanted to talk about weight'