To not want to spend £30+ on wedding? How much did you spend and where?

[orangeclock]

My partner and I have 2 children and are approaching 10 years together. We haven't married yet because we just haven't got around to it. We feel married already but think it would be wise to make things legal. We'd like to get married next year with about 150-200 guests, and we want to do something fairly lovely in a beautiful venue with a sit down meal.

Can I ask where you got married, how many guests, and how much did you spend?

I have looked at a couple of lovely venues but they cost out at £30,000 plus with the catering! We just don't want to spend such a huge chunk of money.

£20,000 would probably be our limit and I still think that's a small fortune.

We can't escape the sit down meal - older family would expect it. I also would like a really lovely venue and a good photographer.

We're happy to skimp on cake, cars, honeymoon, simple decorations, getting married off season and maybe mid week. Also starting later in the day so it's not an all day celebration.

I would really appreciate hearing your wedding experiences and any tips for not spending an absolute fortune! Thank you.

[Wylye]

£8k three years ago, 85 guests, full day with afternoon tea, sit down evening meal, and late buffet. Country house hotel venue for ceremony and reception.

We did all the flowers and decoration ourselves, and said yes to almost every offer of help!
An old colleague did professional photos at mates rates, £600 for the whole day, worth every penny.

The only thing we regretted paying full price for was the shit local DJ. Would have done better with an IPod full of our favourite tunes.

[JackieTheFart]

£30k is about half of my entire mortgage, as far as I am concerned it is madness to spend that much on one day in your life. Especially when you have children and a life to consider.

We got married in a registry office, invited 30 guests and had a sit down meal in the Marriott hotel in Liverpool. Total cost about £2000. We didn't have an evening do or anything, and tbh, although I enjoyed it, I don't especially look back at it as such a wonderful day. I had a headache (literal) on the day and the whole thing was a headache to arrange.

I wish we'd got married just us and the children and then told everyone afterwards.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

We did that. Registry office with DD and my dad and the girl who works for us, followed by lunch in the local gastro pub. Cost very little and we told everyone else afterwards.

[Blankiefan]

Try to find a venue where you hire the caterer separately - more choice and more room to negotiate as they don't necessarily get the job because you love the venue.

Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.... Everything. Wedding prices are a joke. We got our fav band down from £1300 to £800; got wedding cars for £100 for 2 cars (by booking for an "event" rather than a wedding);nailed down corkage from £13 a bottle to £3 a bottle (and bought the booze from Majestic Wine on sale or return). Seriously - all the suppliers tell you that they don't negotiate. They ALL do! (be prepared to walk away and choose someone else)

Make choices about what's important to you and what's not. We paid quite a lot for the music and spent more than intended on booze - and I got a beautiful wedding ring.... But my wedding dress was second hand (£200 off Preloved), we got our florist to change the type of flowers so we still got the colours we wanted but weren't fussed by the type of flowers (and they were beautiful in the end), evening buffet was sausage/bacon/egg rolls - everyone loved it!

Oh - and don't pay for a wedding album. Get the photos on cd and make up your own personalised albums online - we made special ones for our parents that were really personal.

[greenformica]

where do you live? Maybe we can make location suggestions?

[Misty9]

Hmm, 200 guests for traditional wedding and sit down meal is going to cost I'm afraid. But for other cost cutting bits:

Don't be afraid to haggle with photographers. I (email) laughed at the original quote for ours and was walking away, but he ended up doing it for half his original quote - and was brilliant. We had all day for around £1200 but if you're happy to just have ceremony photos for example, it's a lot cheaper.

Our wedding cake was a cheese tiered cake as dh doesn't like cake and I can't eat it. Cost was £85 for five tiers of cheese - and this formed a major part of the evening buffet too :) check out wholesalers for package deals.

I had silk flowers. Much cheaper than real (though I didn't have a choice as got married on the ONE day of the year that the flower markets are all closed) I think the cost was about £250 for all bouquets, buttonholes and table decs.

Shop around for stationary (sp?). Or make your own if you've got time/skill.

Make/do as much of it as you can/want! Looks so much more personal too.

We got married in the hotel du vin at Christmas time and spent about £9k all in, but only 20 people for sit down meal and about 50 for evening do.

[Misty9]

Oh, and we hired a jukebox for couple of hundred, instead of forking out for a dj. Looked very cool and meant people could choose their own music :)

[greenformica]

Find a rustic old village hall surrounded by greenery and hire caterers/music etc. Or get one of those massive tents set up in someones garden or a farmers field. Does it really need to be in a stately home?

[skaen]

Marquee in my godmother's garden. Waitrose buffet with my brothers school friends serving (lots if lovely 17 and 18 year olds) £4000 plus £1000 for booze -100 people at wedding and reception, whole village came to the party.

8k altogether with bus, DJ, band, dress photos etc but it was lovely as it was a lot of favours which made it so much more special.

[KitCat26]

We cut a lot of corners to do it as cheaply as possible. But the things we didn't compromise on were the food and the music (a band).

Wedding was on a Friday (didn't affect the price of anything ime), at my parish church. Catholic wedding so no charge, but donation only. Reception was a local hall with a separate (pay) bar, we provided the aperatifs, booze with the meal and first drink after that. We paid corkage, but it was worth it so we could have our own choice of wine, and we got it cheaply with tesco clubcard vouchers.

We made: the favours, invites, table decs, friends decorated the venue, mum made the cake, aunt decorated it, bridesmaids did own make up and hair and wore own shoes, I did my makeup, we took the church flowers down to the venue after the service (left the altar flowers though) etc.

Hopefully you will be able to have the venue, and wedding, you want for a less than you expect.

[olgaga]

I think you'll regret spending that much on a wedding. If you want an "elegant" wedding, far better to go small and intimate for family and close friends - especially if you want a nice sit down meal.

Then you can have a really nice family "honeymoon". Think of the fabulous, memory-making holidays you could have for £10k!

[Chiggers]

Got married back in 2006 with about 50 people invited. Cost was less than £1k and that includes a naming ceremony for DS thrown in as well as the rings, flowers, food and cake.

Best £900 we ever spent.

[AdoraBell]

Golf club, 30 guests, 15 years ago, we spent about £500- ish plus my dress, £150 as it's not an actual bridal dress (not even white ) and £300 on tuxedoes.

[theskyonasnowynight]

Loveliest wedding I have been too hired out the back half of a local pub. Buffet meal - different veggie salads and LOTS of bread and ham. Local Jazz band. All guests bought their own drink throughout. Couple put in the invites don't get us a present, get a bottle of wine for your table at our reception or if you don't drink give a donation to xxx charity. It was brilliant. Fumkily enough they are also one of the postwar couples we know and in a social circle which had seen weddings at the Dorchester. Its the one wedding I've been too ill never forget..

[theskyonasnowynight]

Funnily and posher. Stupid phone.

[Iaintdunnuffink]

The place where we got married only held 70, then we invited more for the evening but didn't expect many to come to that. We had it on a Friday and got good deals as the venue was a very new business. I think every thing came to 6k, including clothes. Everyone said the venue and food were fantastic. That was 10 years ago and I"m sure prices will have at least doubled for the venue and food since then.

A cousin of mine got married around the same time but paid 20k for a wedding at a similar large house in a nice place. She was very particular about flowers, clothes, favours, chair decoration, flower girls etc.

One of the best weddings I went to was a smallish one at a registry office with a great quality Chinese after. In hindsight I wish we'd done similar but I went along with what the relatives expected.

[msmorgan]

We have been together 10 years, have 2 kids and after talking about getting married for years we have finally actually booked it. We decided 2 weeks ago and I now have all the important stuff booked.

Our wedding will come in at around £5500, we're having a small wedding (just very close friends and family) at a beautiful castle near to where we live. Ceremony followed by sit down 3 course wedding breakfast then night do with buffet is £2500, that also includes stuff like chair covers, fresh flowers, seating plan and some sparkling wine & wine with meal, and lovely room to stay in for wedding our night.

My dress is £700, beautiful cake £200, a harpist £200, flowers around £150 and an award winning photographer who has agreed to do it for £750 instead of his usual £1200.

We are getting married on a Friday in March, later in the day. The same venue and package in summer would have been 3x the amount.

Personally I would rethink the guest list if you want a beautiful venue and a more formal wedding, or have everyone there but go with a less formal venue. Then again if you really don't mind spending £20k my best tip would be to have an out of season wedding on a Friday or Sunday and haggle with photographers, florists etc.

[ComposHat]

I would echo the view that once you've been to one wedding reception in a stately home you've been to the lot. However much money is chucked at it - on the minds of your guests it will be the same as the last six they've been to. No one woll remember the dress as it will be the same strapless sweetheart neck and ruffles that everyone has.


We are getting married and will have change aplenty out of two grand.

No photographer- hideously expensive and everyone is bored to tears by hours of photographs. We will ask people to sends us snaps.


No cars, pre booked black taxi to the reg. office.

outfits - normal suit that can be worn to weddings/funerals/bar mitzvahs and non wedding y dress in yellow.

late wedding so only one meal (hot buffet) to pay for.

reception in the basement of a 50s diner - room hire free if guests spend more than a certain amount at the bar. Spotify disco.

rings from wedding rings direct - more choice and a big saving on high st prices.

[MsPickle]

Haven't read the whole thread, but if you're Londoners why not go for a London Landmark venue; you'll have all the wow and might be a way to save on sit down meal? So, for e.g., I believe that the Gherkin is licenced, Tower Bridge etc. Still not cheap but could be amazing photos/celebration?

[showtunesgirl]

It can be done.

We had 100 guests to the sit down meal which was a 12 course banquet, then another 50 to the evening buffet.

And two weeks on the Amalfi cost.

All of which cost about £12k.

[GTbaby]

Hampton court palace? Friend got married there. N she was on a bit of a budget.

I know a couple who hired the natural history museum. But they had Indian caters which seem to be cheaper per person.

Petersham hotel in Richmond.

There must b loads that would fit your budget. Just keep looking, and let us know what you decide.

[eccentrica]

Also with NorthernLurker.

There aren't 200 people in the world who really care very much that you and your STBH are in a relationship. It's just a date on the calendar, another day of hanging around, mediocre food, bad dancing & identikt wedding dress. Sorry but that's the truth. Maybe you have 30 or 40 people who actually care. Celebrate with them. The rest is just spunking money up the wall.

[ben5]

about 10-15k. In total. My mum paid for my dress. I got the bridesmaid dress from a John Lewis sale and the flower girl a dress from Sainsburys! My friend made my cake.
We got married at Cameron House on the banks of Loch Lomond and had a sit down meal for 80 people. This included a bag pipe guy, flowers for table, 3 course meal follwed by coffee, room for us for the night, half a bottle of wine per person for the meal, a drink for when we just got married per guest.
We then had a photos, flowers, favours, gifts, registar. We didn't need a car as we had it all in one place and we had a band play in the evening.

[Ouchmyhead]

I'm spending 10k, but with only 60 day guests. We are getting married in a beautiful 16th century mansion. We have saved thousands (no exaggeration) by getting married in December, on a Sunday! We don't need to pay for any decorations as they decorate the place with real trees and lights all over for Christmas, and Sunday isn't a popular day, it'd be even cheaper if we had it mid week, also look on Facebook for local photographers they will be a ton cheaper (I saved £500, and she is brilliant, just with no disposable income to fund a shop), my SIL to be is making our cake (she is a baker) and instead of flowers for the bouquets I'm making button bouquets (not for everyone, but seriously - google them, they look amazing, not as weird as it sounds!) Also making your own invitiations, Ebay is your friend when it comes to decorations - ribbons, card, little sparkly sticky bits are so much cheaper than in the likes of Hobbycraft.) Saving money in those places has enabled me to splash out on my dream dress, which was quite expensive (compared to the budget, it was 1.5k,) have the 4 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls I wanted and DP can have the 6 groomsmen he wanted (everyone's helping out by buying their own shoes.) Its just about prioritising what's important to you! Have fun planning!

[LittleMissLucy]

Also 10K about 10 yrs ago.
Registry office
then
Dinner for 12
Party for 100+ with endless champagne and live music and copious canapes
and a HUGE cake
in a posh hotel in central London