To not want to spend £30+ on wedding? How much did you spend and where?

[orangeclock]

My partner and I have 2 children and are approaching 10 years together. We haven't married yet because we just haven't got around to it. We feel married already but think it would be wise to make things legal. We'd like to get married next year with about 150-200 guests, and we want to do something fairly lovely in a beautiful venue with a sit down meal.

Can I ask where you got married, how many guests, and how much did you spend?

I have looked at a couple of lovely venues but they cost out at £30,000 plus with the catering! We just don't want to spend such a huge chunk of money.

£20,000 would probably be our limit and I still think that's a small fortune.

We can't escape the sit down meal - older family would expect it. I also would like a really lovely venue and a good photographer.

We're happy to skimp on cake, cars, honeymoon, simple decorations, getting married off season and maybe mid week. Also starting later in the day so it's not an all day celebration.

I would really appreciate hearing your wedding experiences and any tips for not spending an absolute fortune! Thank you.

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

I got married about 7 years ago for 7K following the strategy of: spend money on a venue but skimp on all the trimmings. We had 150 people in a big old country manor house. My dress was quite pricey too but that and the venue (which included food) were the bulk of the cost.

We used london black cabs as our wedding car. Didn't bother with favors, had a DJ and not a band etc. Had a big chocolate cake for the wedding cake. Made our own table seating chart. My instructions to the florist were; make me any bouquet with seasonal flowers. If you don't sweat the details you can really keep the costs down.

Our wedding looked super expensive and people were shocked when they found out how little we had spent. It really can be done.

[Nat38]

How about a council owned venue??
I live in Leicester & a couple of people I know have held their receptions at Beuamanor Hall, which the county council own & also did the catering & it was all lovely-venue great, food fantastic, photo`s I have seen, seem to back up these claims!
Hope this helps!

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

Yes yes to whoever mentioned invites. It boggles my mind that people spend any real money on these. You can order them super cheaply from the internet. All people do is read the info and then bin them, surely?

[BrienneOfTarth]

Weddings can be as expensive or as cheap as you want them to be. You just need to keep a grip and remember that there is a huge industry out there of very persuasive people with excellent sales skills whose livelihood depends on persuading you to stretch your spending further than you want to. Lots of things that are presented as "must have" in bridal magazines, wedding shows etc are pointless and add very little value to the day.

What is important is:

• being surrounded by the people who love you
  
• with nice (but no need for fussy) things to eat and drink in good quantity.
  
  Everything else is optional. One of the nicest weddings I ever went to was done on a budget of less than £1000, a significant chunk of which went on booze. simple ceremony in an ordinary, not particularly picturesque church, then the reception was a "bring and share" buffet in the happy couple's back garden.
  
  For a budget of £20,000 you could have plenty of the fancy extras, you just have to pick which ones.
  
  But I'd always say that you economise by toning down the grandure, not cutting the guest list. A simpler meal in a cheaper venue with all your friends there will be MUCH more meaningful than a lovely venue where you can only afford to pay for dinner for 50 of your friends.

[KittensoftPuppydog]

500 quid. It was in 1989 though. And some of that went towards the honeymoon. Dress cost under 200, pub lunch for close family and 2 friends each, then pub hire for a massive party the next day.
It was absolutely lovely and just what we wanted. Didn't want a crowd at the registry office and only included family under duress.
Everyone took photos and gave us copies.
I just don't understand why it has to cost so much. I couldn't have felt happier if we'd spent 30 grand. Married for 25 yrs next year, possibly partly because we didn't start off with a huge debt.

[Heinz55]

4k 15 years ago. £200 on a wedding dress that I wore once - I still think was a terrible waste of money. Dh's suit was £600 and he's still wearing it to every wedding and funeral - much better investment. Wedding rings (platinum) were about £800 - worn every day: great value!
120 people in a small country hotel. No photographer which I regret now. Kind of. one bridesmaid in an off the peg dress. No hair or make up (well, I had hair and make up but I did it) we all walked to and from the church. Simple and it did the job. I think 20K is a shocking waste of money but you wouldn't be the first or the last.

[MelanieCheeks]

We got married in Gretna Green. Just ourselves and our 2 witnesses. The couple of days accommodation, travel and wedding fees etc for that was about £700. I bought my dress off eBay for £30. He went for the full kilt regalia which probably cost £400, but that's an optional!

We had a family get-together celebration for everyone afterwards. That was a buffet supper in a local restaurant, (£350) we provided wine (£100) and paid a corkage fee, and I splashed out £100 on a stunning cupcake tower which people are still talking about. I paid the airfares for my 2 adult children to come and join us.

It doesn't have to cost a fortune to have a memorable and special celebration! But it helps if family are on-side.

[GirlOutNumbered]

We only spent £5k. Small wedding in hotel for close friends and family and then a big boozy BBQ in back garden the next day. We Hired a big BBQ and a chef and bought loads of booze. We got friends to make cocktails.
It was fab.
I got invitations printed from the Internet and picked wild flower from mine and SIL garden,

[racmun]

We're getting married this year. To keep costs down we're having just family to sitdown meal and then all friends to just evening drinks and will put money behind the bar.

Really couldn't give a shit what our cake is like do will buy that in M&S and put some flowers on it etc.

Not having a wedding car but am having really good photos.

Going to cost circa £5k which I think is loads for one day. Even the thought of that much makes me sick. No way would I spend £20k on one day........

[GirlOutNumbered]

Oh and my dress was Biba, from house f Frazier and hubby just bought a new shirt and tie.

[oscarwilde]

Haven't read the full thread sorry. I got married in the City of London. There are some lovely venues (google for a list of those licensed to hold weddings) for Guild houses etc and you can either have a civil wedding there or marry in a City church (lots of lovely old churches tucked away around the City). No problem getting a Saturday dates off season and lots of deals too. No accommodation but the weekend is quiet in the City so people got great deals to stay in top business hotels. PM me if you would like more personal info on where we went.

[oscarwilde]

Wedding was circa £20k for 110 guests all in. Deliberately picked a venue with limited numbers to stop things getting silly. Stripped out all the usual wedding flim flam (favours, save date cards,engraved seating plan, stupid amts of flowers etc) and spent money on food, booze, great band and a photographer. Had a fantastic day, don't regret spending a penny.

[chattychattyboomba]

Where: Banyan Tree resort, Phuket, Thailand
Guests: 100
Spent £30k
Including: dress, bridesmaid dresses, groom and groomsmen, ceremony, catering, some booze (we b.y.o wine & champagne as the tax is through the roof but this was including a corkage fee) wedding planner, flights (me and DH) villa, fire dancers, flowers, fireworks, rings, honeymoon in Vietnam & Cambodia, make up artist etc etc.
you definitely get more for your ££ in Thailand!

[catgirl1976]

Las Vegas

6 guests, maybe spent £2.5k including the whole stay in Vegas :)

[DewDr0p]

We spent about £10k 14 years ago but went for the full shebang with a very wow venue and a big guest list. If I were doing it now, I would be much more selective on the guest list tbh and probably choose a more intimate venue. Basically we prioritised making it a really good party so spent most of the money on food and drink.

But some of the things we did to keep the costs down and up the champagne budget were:

• no wedding cars (asked friend with an audi to drive me instead)
  
• no cake (noone appeared to notice perhaps because we had spent all the money on champagne )
  
• no favours and very simple flowers in empty bottles on the tables
  
• bridesmaid dresses were £22.50 each in the Debenhams sale
  
• asked best man etc just to wear a nice suit and we provided the ties which I made myself which was a bit of a mistake as I can't sew but they looked ok
  
• designed the invites/menus ourselves and dh pulled in a favour from a friend to get them printed (now I think much easier to get stuff done via internet)
  

I have to say though some of the nicest weddings I've been to have been the ones on the tightest budgets. One friend had theirs in their (not at all grand) back garden and all their aunties made the buffet. Another friend hired and decorated the church hall and got a hog roast but the whole day was festival themed as they are both really into music. It was fab.

[MousyMouse]

100£
registry office

• 500 for a nice meal out with closest family and friends.

[FatherReboolaConundrum]

Not sure I'm really the person to advise not that that's ever stopped me since I've been with DP a lot long than you and your DP have been together and I wouldn't spend £30 on getting married, let alone £30K, but have you thought about an Oxford or Cambridge college? I've been to a couple of weddings in colleges and they give you amazing setting and ceremony/reception all in one place.

[mummytowillow]

I got married at Turkey Mill in Maidstone, funny name but beautiful venue. Google it and you'll understand!

It cost £25k for 100 in day and 200 at night. We had the money at the time and didn't get in debt.

BUT we then needed £15k of IVF treatment to get our daughter, if I'd known that I wouldn't have spent that much

[IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat]

Our wedding cost less than 10k - wedding in Nevada Desert outside Las Vegas, just us and both sets of parents, honeymoon in Hawaii, then a formal reception at local barn 3 months after coming back.

That was 6 years ago and wouldn't change any of it! We could really enjoy our vows and each other without stress, then enjoy time with friends and family later (plus I got to wear my dress twice!).

If we'd had the ceremony in the UK, we would have spent far more and wouldn't have had the money for such a fancy honeymoon.

[MagicHouse]

The best weddings I've been to have all been outside (beach/ lakeside/ gardens). I would be careful about "beautiful" venues - from the outside it looks amazing, but as a guest I always find them slightly uncomfortable and not particularly memorable. I would concentrate on an unusual venue.
My own wedding was abroad on a beach in Thailand, 10 guests, the most amazing day, sunbathing by the pool inbetween lunch and dinner, fireworks/ dancers.
Ended in divorce though, but that's another story

[Amaxapax]

I just got married a month ago. We spent (deep breath) about £15k. Sometimes I think that we shouldn't have done it, but I had a fantastic day and several people said it was the best wedding they had ever been to.
We had the full thing, so civil ceremony, canapés and drinks, three course sit down meal, evening buffet, cake, band, etc. We had about 90 guests.
Guests/food are definitely the most expensive part of the day. Our venue charged about £65 per head, and we actually had a discounted rate because we were friendly with the staff.
My best tip is to find an up and coming photographer. I met ours at a wedding fair and negotiated a rate of £700 for full day coverage. That was £200 below his asking price. He has since been featured on several blogs and now charges twice what we paid.
We had a lovely venue and I have lots of money saving ideas, despite how much I did spend, so PM me if you'd like.

[IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat]

Also, for cutting costs on flowers for the tables, we chose the flowers we wanted and ordered them just as stemmed flowers from the local florist. We then bought cheap vases and DH, along with FIL arranged them that morning.

I made up the favours myself, made the seating chart, place cards and table names etc. We went to the toy shop to choose figures for the M&S wedding cake too. No cars. No photographer at the reception. (Photographer at Las Vegas was included in the package. Think it was about £350 for limo from hotel to desert, minister, bouquet, photographer and video).

Biggest costs were food, flights and my dress.

[NoWayPedro]

I was an event planner in my previous role; not a wedding specialist but I've done my fair share of banquets and special events, both in this country and overseas.

IMO, if you've been to one nice banquet in a nice hotel/venue, you've been to them all, as other than atmosphere (which you can't buy) there is little to distinguish between weddings.

A lot of the agonizing over decisions will be lost on most guests and are the same things 10 other weddings will have that month in that same venue. Price most certainly does not equal quality or enjoyment at weddings.

Send me an invite to a homemade do anytime.

[Springforward]

£6k including a week's honeymoon on Greek island, 6 years ago.

We wrote out our own "social stationery".

We married in church, donating £200 for doing so (Catholic churches don't charge according to our priest as a Catholic person has a right to be married in church). The service was late in the afternoon and the reception was at a local golf club, whose events manager described our brief as "relaxed but classy", which I think summed up what we'd asked for very well!

Guests bought their own drinks from the bar. Dinner was served at 6pm and was a hot/ cold buffet followed by dessert and cake. I bought the cakes from Marks and Spencer and decorated them myself with paper roses from eBay. We had 70 guests for dinner and dancing, wine on the table at half bottle per adult guest, and there was lots left over which went on the bar.

Flowers were limited to altar and top table only, we had no wedding favours but did do gift bags at dinner for 10 small children to keep them occupied.

My dress came from Monsoon and I had it fitted by a bridal dressmaker. My bridesmaids both also wore dresses from Monsoon. The men wore their own lounge suits and we provided buttonholes for close family. I had a wedding hairdresser do me and bridesmaids, but we all did our own makeup.

We had one wedding car, which was a gift from a kind relative. Our photographer used a digital camera and didn't work from a fancy studio but did a fabulous job, and we were able to afford an album with about 60 prints.

We were horrified at all the tat available at wedding fairs, I think that's where the costs can really add up TBH.

We had a fabulous time and our guests commented on how relaxed it was. Wouldn't change a thing if we were doing it again

The only murmur we had was from MIL who was hoping we'd lay on cars for close family, but who backed off amicably when we said we couldn't afford them, as we paid for everything ourselves.