To not want to spend £30+ on wedding? How much did you spend and where?

[orangeclock]

My partner and I have 2 children and are approaching 10 years together. We haven't married yet because we just haven't got around to it. We feel married already but think it would be wise to make things legal. We'd like to get married next year with about 150-200 guests, and we want to do something fairly lovely in a beautiful venue with a sit down meal.

Can I ask where you got married, how many guests, and how much did you spend?

I have looked at a couple of lovely venues but they cost out at £30,000 plus with the catering! We just don't want to spend such a huge chunk of money.

£20,000 would probably be our limit and I still think that's a small fortune.

We can't escape the sit down meal - older family would expect it. I also would like a really lovely venue and a good photographer.

We're happy to skimp on cake, cars, honeymoon, simple decorations, getting married off season and maybe mid week. Also starting later in the day so it's not an all day celebration.

I would really appreciate hearing your wedding experiences and any tips for not spending an absolute fortune! Thank you.

[Wishiwasanheiress]

Mine was church, full trad white using all expectations of older generation and I really worked via what I thought my dad would want and what I grew up wanting. Dh loved the fuss too! :)

[Wishiwasanheiress]

One if final dresses was Ian Stuart! Was red. I dream of it still. I thought dad might die if I did that so had white instead. Dress was his dollar so seemed fair.... Did have massive train though. When I say trad I mean trad! No minimalist and 2 cala lillies. I did full on with roses. Still love that dress....

[BigBongTheory]

I know someone who hired their rowing club club house somewhere near Kingston. Great views and pretty cheap.

[DoctorRobert]

last year, 4k. that was only for 20 guests though.

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

I'm with NorthernLurker.

[cornyderpy]

well I've just googled Ian Stuart wedding dresses out of nosiness and now I feel robbed.

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

They were in the back of a local events magasine. The lead singer was Jamaican (and 74 ) and lives in Jamaica, some of the other members live in Britain.

They were show stopping, I'll be honest with you.

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

er magazine I meant

[cheeseandchive]

Life, the dressmaker who altered my dress thinks it was actually made out of curtain material! It was an actual dress when I bought it though, so don't know if that counts.

[mumofweeboys]

About 5k all in, 10 years ago.

We had sit down meal for 30 (kept it to aunts and uncles only), then evening reception for 100 plus.

We got married in lovely church so had great photos then went for city hotel as it was cheaper than anywhere else and once inside it was just the same as a posher place.

The food alone was half budget.

If you want somewhere lile stately home your going to be looking towards 10k without food.

[Kundry]

Last year, 30 people, sit down meal, £4K

There are lots of things you can compromise on or just not have but ultimately for your budget you can either have a sit down meal with fewer guests or a buffet with more.

We didn't have hen/stag nights, groom wore suit he can wear again, my dress was £500 as it was sold as a bridesmaids dress which are cheaper. Bestman dressed himself. I made the bridesmaids dresses (all children) - these could have been bought cheaper but were lovely.

Photographer was a bargain at £800 and I would highly recommend them - I nearly fainted at the cost of some other photographers. We didn't have a video which also saved.
www.blessingphotography.com

Flowers were also a big compromise - stuck to 3 centrepieces plus bouquets for me and bridesmaids and a couple of buttonholes - if I'd had the venue decorated like in the wedding of my dreams it would have been extortionate.

Invites were done by a friend of a friend who was into card making - they looked as if they cost £100s so I'd recommend you start asking if any mates are into this!

Also decided that favours were pointless- another huge saving!

Wedding was lunchtime, promptly followed by sitdown meal with no evening do - if you have to have an evening do and entertainment, the cost will rocket.

Venue was a local hotel/restaurant - so saved on cars by my staying the night so not needing a car! We could have walked down the street to the attractive photo spot but on the day were having so much fun we didn't bother. This would be my main suggestion - when planning the wedding the lovely perfect photogenic venue seemed very important. But on the day being with friends and family was much more important - plus they hate being stranded miles from anywhere while you go off to have photos by the lake or whatever. As long as the venue gets what you want and can provide the quality of meal you are thinking of much of the rest is just window-dressing.

We also didn't have sole use of the venue which I think they like to charge £££ for - it made absolutely no difference to us at all. On the day I was so happy a marching band could have been in the room next door and I wouldn't have noticed.

[LynetteScavo]

I didn't have any flowers, apart form my bouquet and and the bridesmaides bouquets. Mostly due to DH suffering terrible hay fever, and not wanting to set if off. (We got married out of his hey fever season). I think I saved an awful lot of money, and tbh, I don't think we really needed to lavish the venue with flowers/balloons. (balloons were in in the '90's)

The only thing I was (slightly) unhappy with, and wish I'd spent more on was the photographer. I would have liked some natural black and white ones. Just by luck we ended up with one natural one, which the photographer didn't think we'd go for. I have 3 of my wedding photos hanging above my desk, 14 years later, so I think that is something not to scrimp on.

I would't pay out for an expensive band. By then everyone is so sloshed, they have no idea if the music is on an ipod, or the best cover band ever.

[MissPB]

How about here

or here

[http://www.themansionhouse.org/ here]]

I get the feeling you are asking for help looking for venues rather than discussing the whys and wherefores.

Our wedding was around £8k which was ten years ago - we had about 80 guests all day (no evening guests), lovely meal and dancing.

All good fun - really don't buy into the Wedding Industry idea of a wedding they are just trying to get you to part with your money!

[NotYouNaanBread]

Rural pub with a good rep for food & a big garden, marquee - The Perch in Oxford, for instance.

Start looking on Pinterest for ways to put together a relaxed polish to it - wild flowers in jam jars sort of thing.

[BallerinaZeena]

Who cares if 'older family expect' a sit down meal?! It's your day etcetc

And 20k!!! So much money. I'd skip the wedding and have a year off and take the whole family travelling!

[Sopster]

We had our reception at The Plough in Leigh, just outside Sevenoaks. Beautiful 16th century barn attached to equally beautiful pub. Can't remember the exact pricing a but was way way cheaper than anywhere else we looked at. Did the whole day for less than10k. It was around 7 years ago.

[BeaWheesht]

Mine was 6k for 70 day guests and another 30 at night. 3 bridesmaids, church wedding, hotel on coast with 3 course meal and buffet And drinks. Got married in borders and 8 years ago. Don't scrimp on anything but didn't go mental eg cake was £350, dress £1000, bridesmaids £100 each etc

[ExitPursuedByABear]

30k on a wedding when you have been together so long?

You must have money to burn OP.

[Mrsrobertduvall]

I think it's ridiculous to spend so much on a wedding if you can't afford it.
We had 13 people to our ceremony (registry office) and lunch at Cafe Rouge. Then about 100 to a do in the evening with buffet.

In total it cost about £1500 17 years ago.

[dinkydoos]

[binky] would you recommend your midlands venue? Will you Pm where t was if so!

[Tommy]

we spent less than 10K - can't remember how much exactly. It didn't give the impression of being a "budget wedding" (I don't think!) but we didn't do things like make all the men wear matching outfits, didn't have a posh car, didn't have a colour scheme as such, made our own invites, didn't do traditional favours etc.
My dress was about £250, had 2 child bridesmaids and one of their mums made their flower baskets with stuff I'd bought from a Inexcess type shop.
You can do it more cheaply than popular media suggests - keeping away from wedding hotels who do the whole package helped a lot

[dinkydoos]

arrgh. Bold fail! binky!

[landofsoapandglory]

£30k on a wedding! if I won the lottery tonight I wouldn't spend that!

totally forgets I have been married for over 19 years and had a cheap as chips wedding

[Tommy]

mu mum made the cake as a gift and some friends of DH's parents iced it - again as a gift. A couple of friends also decorated the venue with streamers and balloons