Aibu to expect abled people to move? (Pushchair related)

[Maryshoppins]

If I see a pushchair, wheel chair, person with 101 bags and so on, walking towards me, I would, without hesitation, move out of their way.

Why does it seem that whenever I am out and about with my pushchair, 9/10 times someone will continue to walk towards me with no intention of moving out the way, therefore I end up swerving at the last to move out of their pathway!

I'm particularly cross about this today, as I was walking towards a woman (and I don't mean intentionally to knock her down,) she continued to walk directly towards my pushchair, glaring at me as if to say 'are you going to move?'. For the first time, I didn't and we both came to a standstill. Sounds ridiculous I know, but I was finally fed up with the amount of rude people I encounter and wanted to be sure I wasn't completely over reacting! This lady called me all sorts, and walked past me in a huff!

Other mothers I have spoken to in the past say they encounter this a lot. But they just swerve out of the way to avoid confrontation.

I'm not normally one for causing a scene. But I am amazed that an abled person wouldn't consciously move out of the way of somebody that has a pushchair or struggling with shopping /children etc.

So, aibu?

[Changebagsandgladrags]

I have a personal rule. If I am out with the pushchair I move for old people, or those who look like they would have difficulty moving out of the way. Also small children, I always go around them so that my pushchair is between them and the road.

Other people I normally don't try to go around because it would mean me being nearer the road. My own rule is an adult should be nearer the road. I also move out of the way for other pushchairs that look heavier/harder to steer/with younger children in. Babies should never have to pass on the roadside.

I get a bit narked off on one particular route. DS aged two likes to walk on a very low wall/kerb type thing by a grass verge. But I have to hold his hand. The amount of people who think it's not sensible to go round us. Grrrr. Also adults who want to walk on the wall and think I am going to move DS.

[WestieMamma]

In my experience it wouldn't make any difference whether the OP was disabled or not. I am disabled and have to use a rollator when I'm out and I'm often rather slow too. I get so frustrated with people refusing to give way, like the OP describes, and/or getting angry/tutting/bitching about me getting in their way.

Strangely enough, the only place where I haven't encountered this is when I go to London. The first time I went I was dreading it as I thought it would be 100 x worse than normal. I found Londoners were exceptionally polite and accommodating, even on the tube at rush hour.

[Redbindy]

OP, are you unable to steer the pushchair? Perhaps some L plates would come in handy.

[Maryshoppins]

Boundandrebound- so I am entitled, and those Individuals that walk right towards my pushchair and expect I move out of their way....they're not acting entitled? Or bad mannered? Please clarify this for me....

[badtime]

YABU
I think each person should move, that way nobody has to move as much.
And what the hell is 'abled'?

[Itsaboatjack]

YANBU at all. I also live in London and am constantly amazed at the number of people with no basic manners or consideration for other people.

I've had people walk out of a shop or round a corner and walk into the side of the buggy and glare at me for being there. I've had people overtaking me, and as soon as they are passed me they start moving over infront of me as if the buggy no longer exists so they either walk into it or I have to slow or stop to give them space. If people drove like they walk down the street, with such little awareness of what's going on around them they wouldn't make it to the end of their roads.

My dd is now out of her buggy and walking, she is quite slow so we try and stay over to the side so out of the way as much as possible, people still try to push between her and the buildings. And don't get me started on women with their massive handbags that all seem to be at toddler head height, more than a few times I've had to pull her out of the way of being clouted with one, or if we are somewhere very busy I've even had to put my hand out to stop the bag hitting her and I get looked at like I'm trying to mug them.

[Maryshoppins]

Redbindy-,I am as unable to steer a pushchair, as you are able to read my post properly.

[crashdoll]

Btw I would move out of the way, especially if it was one of those big tank pram types. I just dislike the expectation that I should move.

[SoWhatIfImWorkingClass]

Maryshoppins It seems your manners go right out of the window once you set foot on the pavement with a pushchair.

Pavement??? Get on road!

[kungfupannda]

I find that there are a huge number of people out there who don't seem to be capable of making the most minor of adjustments to their course so that people can actually pass them without leaping into the road.

I also seem to encounter quite a few people who start off on one side of the pavement and then get drawn towards anyone going the opposite way on the other side of the pavement, as though they are magnetic. I spend a lot of time muttering "walk in a straight line!"

I've only occasionally used a buggy (I'm completely incompetent at driving one so I became a full-time sling user pretty early on) and I haven't found buggy-less people any more or less willing to move when I've had the buggy. However I do seem to spend a lot of time leaping out of the way of buggies, particularly those walking in pairs on narrow pavements who seem to be entirely incapable of breaking formation so that the woman, the baby and the small child don't have to hurl themselves into the road.

[FierceBadIggi]

Ihearsounds - what a lovely, moderate post You must live in a really awful place to have had all those experiences, but feel free to extrapolate that everyone who used a pushchair is the same as the thoughtless ones you have met!

One thing that certainly isn't as easy for a pram as for the average pedestrian is to sidestep briefly off the pavement. I love the post that suggested if you're not prepared to swerve your pram you should wear a sling - strange how we think of all sorts of physical reasons why a pedestrian might have difficulty moving/hidden disabilities, but the parent/carer must be at the peak of fitness, no bad back, SPD or post c-section wound holding them back from carrying their baby!
And then of course there's the problem when all the well-mannered people meet, and you each swerve in the same direction and do that odd dance thing..

[ouryve]

So long as you're not the person who was walking behind me with a soaking wet buggy, the other week, ramming me in the back of the legs. It was busy, there was a guy in front of me plainly struggling with the crowds (trainspotter type, my aspie radar was bleeping wildly) and I was hardly going to barge past him to face the same oncoming crowd he was facing. And if I couldn't get through, the person with the buggy couldn't get through, either.

I did turn round and point out to her the folly of her ways.

So, as long as you're not that person, YANBU.

[IvorHughJangova]

For fucks sake. If it's easier for one person to move than for another to move, then the person who has it easier should move. Simple. If I'm pushing a pram and someone's prancing along towards me not pushing one, they should move. If someone was pushing a pram and I was prancing along towards them not pushing one, I'd move. Anyone who expects others to accommodate them when they're obviously going to be the greater inconvenienced by doing so is being this fucking 'entitled' that the sheep on this forum so love to bleat about at the moment.

Why does everything have to turn into such a boring, repetitive, spiteful bloody argument?

[ouryve]

Posted before finishing - YANBU, so long as you're sure that person is able bodied and hands free and it really is easier for them to move than for you.

[Maryshoppins]

Ouryve- it wasn't me. Promise! :-)

[Theicingontop]

I think its far worse when you're walking with a child, and people take no notice of the tiny person holding your hand, and barge right into them.

I'm an apologetic buggy driver. I move out of the way, and if I see a stream of people coming towards me I'll 'park up' out of the way and let them pass. I'm very aware that a buggy takes up a lot of room on a footpath.

Just polite really.

[TheCraicDealer]

For fucks sake. If it's easier for one person to move than for another to move, then the person who has it easier should move.

Well who it's "easier" for is a matter for debate. If I'm at the edge of a pavement and a pram pusher refuses to accommodate me and I'm forced into the gutter, that's hardly easier for me than for them to correct their path slightly and allow both of us past.

And yeah, some people have mentioned getting slings, and there are plenty of times when this might not be an option for a parent. However, there are also plenty of occasions when it might be difficult for a seemingly "able bodied" person to dodge a travel system. Swings and roundabouts.

Aside from the rudeness factor, a pram has the potential to cause someone injury, not unlike a car (hear me out). So when "driving" said pram, the pusher should make allowances for other road users pedestrians and try not to hurt or inconvenience them more than necessary.

[IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat]

Ivor "For fucks sake. If it's easier for one person to move than for another to move, then the person who has it easier should move. Simple. If I'm pushing a pram and someone's prancing along towards me not pushing one, they should move. If someone was pushing a pram and I was prancing along towards them not pushing one, I'd move"

^^ yes, exactly!

I've always been a leap out of the way of anyone person, except when there is a huge group of people taking up the whole pavement, then I stop dead for them to navigate me.

Now when I'm out with the pushchair, I still move out of the way of people in wheelchairs, people with sticks/crutches/mobility scooters/young children/lots of shopping/elderly people/other pushchair users, people looking in windows or having a conversation, but equally I expect similar treatment in return from those for whom it is easier to take a split second to take a side-step.

The other day I pulled over in a doorway to let an older lady pass as a lamppost stopped us both using the pavement at the same time, but she insisted I go first saying that "prams have right of way" with a twinkle. I seem to find myself in a politeness dance with lots of people who I'd move out of the way for, lots of smiling and thanks given.

[GreenEggsAndNichts]

As someone upthread mentioned, if I found myself coming up on a situation where I couldn't easily swerve, I'd just stop. Early on, while they're still a few feet away, so I wasn't in their face or anything. I'd manage a feeble smile or whatever, they'd do the same, life went on.

Pushchairs are fairly nimble so I can't actually think of many times when I struggled. It was the early days when he was in a larger buggy that I'd have to do the stopping thing. He wasn't even in a particularly monstrous thing, but the wheels were large (it was secondhand so I can't quote a name brand, something by Mothercare iirc) and it just wasn't as easy to steer.

So glad we're past that stage, though we are considering having another. sigh.

[AlbertoFrog]

OP YANBU.

I have always moved aside for everyone and anyone and still found myself doing so when I became a buggy pusher however, DS is getting somewhat heavier and (for example)on fruit and veggie buying days I find it a bit harder, and slower, to steer out the way of oncomers so now I just stop dead (though obviously not in front of wheelchairs or other visable impediments)

There seems to be as big a lack of manners in the High Street as there is on Mumsnet these days [busmile]

[Xmasbaby11]

I have a slimline buggy and try to stay out of people's way as much as possible, but i find most people kind.

[Maryshoppins]

It seems that there are very mixed views here. I suppose the title of my thread sounds very 'entitled, but the context of my op says otherwise.

I am genuinely shocked at the people who think that a pushchair is an obstruction and therefore, the user 'should' be the person to move!

In an ideal world, we would all be considerate, but I feel it is always me that is the considerate one, and that those individuals who walk straight towards me with no intention of budging over are damn right bloody rude!

Albertofrog - I completely agree with you. It's challenging enough shopping with a pushchair/children! and when you are literally railroaded into a different path you can end up causing more chaos!

Xmasbaby - I'm not so lucky!

[SneezingwakestheJesus]

Here's a thought, not sure if someone has already said it, but what if these "damn right bloody rude" people are people just like you who have moved out of the way every single other time and it just so happens that the day you walk towards them is the day they became sick of it and decided not to move no matter who walks towards them?

Or it could be that they've moved for a lot of people that day and their moving karma quota for the day is full so they decide to let the next person move and it just happens to be you.

Every person you walk towards isn't connected. Its not like they know you have moved for everybody all day so they aren't being any less considerate than you are being expecting them to move. How do you know they aren't in exactly the same frame of mind and feel like they are always the one to move? You don't and they don't.

YABU for thinking there's some vendetta against you and that you are always the considerate one.

[toffeelolly]

Of course she should have moved out of your way. This person clearly does likely not have children , just no manner's . I alway's move out of way for pram's.

[Maryshoppins]

Sneezingwakesthejesus - Oh come on! considering the years I have been pushing a pushchair and the amount of times I have encountered this problem, I'd say it's very unlikely. Obviously, yes sometimes that may be the case. But I'm talking about in general.

Also I wouldn't hesitate to move over if the oncoming person had lots of bags, pushchair, kids - whatever! because it's what considerate people do. S when it is always me moving, yes, I get pretty miffed about it! The woman in question today, was clearly challenging me as she walked towards me. Therefore I refused to budge!