To want a TV?

[marfisa]

That's it, really. My DH doesn't want one. He says that all the shows we want to watch, we can watch on laptops. I never had a TV when growing up as my parents were very anti-TV. I just want the luxury of being able to walk into the front room after the DC have gone to bed and turning on the telly and watching something random to relax.

I don't want an expensive set, I just want something basic.

To be honest we already have a telly, but it's a VERY small one that I got for a tenner off someone from Gumtree. The DC use it to watch DVDs. It has only one scart (sp?) connection, so it's hooked up for DVDs all the time, and if I want to switch it to watch the telly, I have to unhook and rehook a whole set of cables, plus deal with a very antiquated and temperamental remote control. Our TV never comes on with the flick of a switch; it's much more complicated than that.

DH doesn't think TV is good for children. I can see his point but still think that MY wishes matter as well and that if we had a decent working telly, I would be able to make sure that the DC's use of it is reasonable and that they don't watch it 24/7.

There are masses of books in the house by the way and our DC have plenty of stimulating non-screen activities.

DH and I have just had a huge row and I have threatened to go off and buy a £200 telly. It's a TV/DVD combi and I would LOVE it.

AIBU?

[VinegarDrinker]

I think your DH would approve of us. We have a TV but only use it to watch pre recorded stuff or stuff on iPlayer. DS has 2 programmes he likes on CBeebies which are on series link and so spends maximum half an hour a day watching. He rarely asks to watch it tbh. Most days the TV doesn't get turned on, even in the evenings.

The exception is live sport, which we rarely get anyway as we don't have Sky.

This isn't a moral choice, btw, we just aren't huge TV people. We do all read a lot despite the TV being there!

I'm not sure how DVDs and iPlayer on your laptop is any different tbh, how does he justify that odd distinction?

[pollyblue]

i think he needs to use to open his eyes to the acres of very educational stuff that's on tv. I've watched some fantastic things on BBC4/2 recently (especially a couple of series on music as i'm studying that) - there is FAR more to tv than The X Factor etc.

TV - used wisely - can be a great tool for opening up subjects to children (and adults) and encouraging further study.

Is he worried that if you get one you'll soon be going all working class and eating your tea on your lap in front of it?

Seriously - you are an adult - if you want one, get one. He doesn't have to watch it, and you can always do what one of my friends does when hers is not in use and drap it in a fetching scarf so he doesn't have to see it.....

[TartinaTiara]

FWIW I have a big massive fuck-off telly. But I couldn't tell you the last time I actually watched live telly, probably a couple of weeks ago at least - at the moment it's playing the radio to me whilst I fanny around on t'internet, mostly when I watch it it's something I've recorded or watching something streamed on Netflix or iPlayer or whatever (so not qualitatively different to a DVD, I'm trying to say, possibly not entirely successfully).

So I'm confused here. You have a telly on which you watch DVDs, and I'm assuming he's fine with this. He watches actual telly on the laptop, and I assume also he's fine with this. But somehow watching exactly the same stuff on an actual telly is going to scoop out your brains and replace them with lime jelly? He's a mad controlling freak. Get yourself a telly.

[TartinaTiara]

Also (sorry, I may be ranting here) what's with the "anything we want to watch we can watch on the laptop". Yes, you could, but you wouldn't have the same experience as watching it on a telly - if you're watching something on a larger screen, at a reasonable distance, you can concentrate better on it and it's more absorbing (and I'd add, probably more the experience that the director was aiming for). Would he say that because you can listen to music on YouTube you couldn't ever to to a live concert? That because you can read a Penguin edition of Shakespeare you can't go off to see a performance. Intellectual snobbery, and half baked intellectual snobbery at that.

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

If it's a matter of spending the money, you can probably get a free TV at the tip. It will be an old style crt thing, but will probably work.

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

Having read the whole thread, I am outraged.

I honestly think that you should go to Curry's and pick out a massive flat screen TV and then sign up for Sky or Virgin with allllll the channels, and tell him that he can fuck the fuck off.

Seriously.

[JustinBsMum]

I love my telly. In the evenings, if I am tired, reading a book sends me to sleep but an hour of lighthearted tv is ideal.

[TheElephantIsADaintyBird]

Bloody hell, I couldn't be done with someone telling me I'm not allowed a telly! Who does he think he is? [buhmm]

Yanbu, go get yourself a huge telly and enjoy it! Free view ones are really good, also agree with not getting a combi.

[McNewPants2013]

I think it is a joined descion because if you watch live tv you will need a tv licence.

It doesn't mean he has final say, but you need to discuss this.

[StuntGirl]

Not unreasonable at all. He is being very controlling. Imagine if you told him to get rid of the laptop, I bet he wouldn't.

Can you afford a tv and the licence? If so I can't see any reason why you shouldn't go out and buy one.

We have a tv but no licence (just used for video games and iplayer). I don't particularly want a licence as I don't want 'proper tv' but my partner does. I'm resigned to the fact we will end up getting one when we can afford it as he wants it, I would never dream of stopping him.

[VinegarDrinker]

The TV license is £120 a year or something, isn't it? Not to be sniffed at but a fraction of what most people spend on a TV/laptop/DVD player etc.

[StuntGirl]

Yes its not much but its an additional cost to consider. No point getting the tv and then realising you can't afford the licence!

[MrsLouisTheroux]

I'm with everyone who has said buy one!
I've always watched TV but watch on-line a lot more nowadays.
I have two friends who don't own a TV and make a big point of letting others know. It's often pretentious twaddle as they download films and watch catch up (iplayer/ 4OD).
If you want to watch on a TV screen tell your DH that you are getting a TV and he doesn't need to watch it if he doesn't want to.

[furbaby]

Oooh was thinking the same as KatyTheCleaninglady get tv and get sky ..... kids will learn so much more from the discovery channels than they would ever get from books ...
Sorry op but he is being a controlling dick.
Sky tv is not going to the dark side its watching programmes when you want and hey the kids will learn so much more . Kick him into 2013 .

[iZombie]

Get one of those aerial widgets for your laptop. Then a nice USB projector. You can have a full wall experience to really boil his piss:o

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

Yanbu I'm a complete book worm but sometimes i just want to unwind in front of the tv, I have far more books than dvds.

The children I nanny for watch 30mins of tv a day and it's normally a science or nature documentary, the eldest loves anything about animals and the youngest just finished watching a serious about volcanoes, not all tv is mindless drivel.

Regardless of all that what it really comes down to imo is that you want a tv therefore as an adult you can have one, if you can afford to buy a tv then go and buy one, we got a 32inch, hd ready, digital tv from asda for £169.

[pigsDOfly]

Agree with everyone else, sounds very controlling to me. Does he also control what is actually watched on the laptop.

Just a point StuntGirl if you have a tv in the house you need a licence regardless of what you do with it. You could be risking a fine.

[HildaOgden]

It's a strange co-incidence that you married a man who controls the TV situation in exactly the same way as your parents did.

Listen,if you want a t.v. ,get one.You're a grown up now,you don't have to obey the rules of the 'Daddy' in the house anymore.

[Ullena]

I got rid of ours two years ago. We never watched it, ever. It just loomed in the corner and gathered dust. I now have houseplants there instead. Though they always die as I am the Death of All Things Plant, apparently

[DontmindifIdo]

He's being controlling, he's telling you how you should spend your evenings. It's not like he's saying he doesn't want the DCs to watch the tv, he's also saying you shouldn't.

re watching things on the laptop when you want too, I have a question, how do you know what you want to watch? Seriously, most of my favourite series have been things I've put on one evening and got hooked, most of the things that get really hyped so you'll hear about them from other things than seeing ads on the TV for them tend to be the high budget stuff (often US imports) that's not always the most interesting/entertaining.

But mostly, don't get a combo, get separate ones, ideally with free view in it, tell him he can get involved in the decision about which you get, but you want to be able to watch TV, not just DVDs so it's not going in the playroom (plus I think personally putting a TV in the playroom gives the message it's something for the DCs, putting it in the grown up space suggests it's for you and DH).

BTW - could he explain why it's ok for your DCs to watch a DVD but not live TV for the same length of time? There is no reason, other than wanting to control the content of what you let the DCs watch, that you could possible argue that a 2 hour DVD (which will be concentrated time of watching TV) is better than 2hours of live TV (which is more likely to be split throughout the day).

We have a 'no TV before dinner' rule, so DS can watch for 1 hour before bath, and I've started letting him watch for 30 minutes or so on the days I don't work when I need to get ready in peace now he's old enough to be left downstairs, but that's still less per day than a DVD would be. You could agree similar rules, TV only goes on after dinner, before bathtime, unless it's a special occasion (like there's some big event you want to watch live).

[NumericalMum]

You only need a tv license if you watch love tv I believe.

I watched LOADS of TV as a kid. I also did loads of sport and read loads o books. I have a good degree and an excellent professional qualification. I also have a very good general knowledge. My DH watched very limited tv and is also well qualified but has no general knowledge at all. My DC watches a fair bit of TV but also spends most of the day running about outside and playing with her toys in her room and reads very well too. We loves books and tv separately.

[makemineamalibuandpineapple]

Most of the modern TVs, you can put pin numbers on channels you don't want children to watch. If your husband is that worried, get one with that function and put pin numbers on all the channels. Then your children have to ask permission to watch the TV but you, as a grown up, can watch TV whenever you like. I don't understand why you are being controlled by him. If you want one then go and buy one.

[pigsDOfly]

Oops. Quite right, if you don't watch live tv you don't need a licence. I'm stuck in the past and didn't know the law had changed. I'll make sure of my facts next time.:)

[harryhausen]

Oh I ^hate people who think telly is evil. I too think they're a bit weird. They say really presumptuous things like "No, we won't allow a TV in house. We prefer to do^ interesting things with our time and fill our brains with intellectual things...."

I grew up with a tv totally unrestricted, as did my DH. We are both in highly creative industries (I'm in books, he's in filmmaking!). Our dcs have unrestricted TV time too. They also read stacks of books, play really creative games, play sport, to Brownies/beavers etc.

GOOD tv ^enriches^ the mind. I can't stand the closed minded view that its just a 'google box' that zaps your brain.

My little rant is over

I wouldn't stand for my DH telling what I'm 'allowed' to have in the house. I don't drink or smoke and my only relaxing moment is that hour or so of ^good^ drama etc before bed.

Get a TV. He'll get over it

[Numberlock]

Of course they can afford the licence, they're both academics don't ya know.

They are considerably more educated than yow.