To wonder why some people don't RSVP to DC parties?

[MrsMushroom]

I can't fathom it really. Out of 28 DC in DDs class, 22 have responded with thank you we'd love to come...one has let me know they will be away that weekend and 5 have not responded at all!

I see one of the Mothers sometimes....what's the deal?? Obviously we can't go to ALL the parties ALL the time and I'm happy with 22 that are attending...but I don't know how many bleddy party bags to make now! I'll have to make the extra 5 incase these children turn up won't I?

I could assume 2 for example lost invitations....but surely no more than that? It's such bad form!

[SanityClause]

And what I'm saying is, yes, it's a little rude, but not a big deal.

FWIW, I had a party in February for DS (9yo). I invited his whole class of 24 boys. Most people responded promptly, but those that didn't, I texted. I had asked for meal choices, and I had to remind quite a few of the parents who had RSVPed that I hadn't yet had their meal choices. So I had to do quite a bit of chasing up.

But, the fact is, I did it all because I wanted DS to have a nice party. I wanted it to run smoothly, for my own sake, so I wouldn't be stressed about it. So that little extra work that I had to do, was for me more than for the other parents, or their sons.

[SanityClause]

No, Donder, I don't. I always try to respond promptly. I think it's polite.

However, sometimes my DC haven't brought the invitation home, and I haven't known about it. Other times, I have had to check what we are doing first - I gave an example up thread of needing to discuss with DS whether he would go to the party or to a rugby festival. (A tricky one, because it involved loyalty to a team, and loyalty to a friend. So not a decision to be mde lightly bu a 9yo.)

I can empathise with both the inviters and the non-responders, and I can't see why others can't, as well.

[Owllady]

well yes Floggingmolly :o it was mayhem. I didn't know who half of them were!

[1991all]

depends when the party is, I think if you still have a week to go, that's plenty of time to still reply
our invitations usually have a rsvp by date. did yours have that?

I do know a mum who recently said she never bothers to reply if she's not going, she figures she doesn't know the children or the parents and they won't care if her dc not going. She's a bit flakey
But that's not really the point, it's just a courtesy to let parents know

Definitely think it's worth chasing, I had one good friend who thought it was the next month, just got a bit confused!

[irregularegular]

It is very rude. Inevitably some people will forget, which is excusable. But to just 'not bother' is not on at all.

To be honest, it's never really happened to me. But we've tended to have smaller parties and I know all the parents, so I just ask them if we've not heard.

I highly recommend e-mailing invites (possibly accompanied by a later paper invite for the sake of the children) as it seems to be by far the easiest why for people to RSVP as they just have to press 'reply'.

You're not doing too badly to be honest compared to others I've heard about. I would chase at this point. Annoying, I know, but so be it.

[ben5]

I had to ask a mum once if her ds was coming as he seems to have an allergy to everything. I asked her on the Friday as I was going shopping bt RSVP had been for the Wednesday. I was very polite in saying I have been waiting to shop just incase ds could come!! He turned up with epi pen etc and she didnt even pop in to see if I was happy using it! He also brought his friend with him!! cheeky sod. He wasnt invited last year!!

[orangepudding]

One of my DDS has a party next week. Out of 19 6 still haven't replied. I honestly didn't have this problem with my older child, everyone replied promptly!
Her year are really bad for this and the parents need chasing up.

[JaquelineHyde]

I don't reply sometimes, I hope everyone thinks I am incredibly rude maybe then all the false playground friends will fuck off and leave me alone and not invite my children to their parties so that I can have just one weekend where we can do whatever the hell we like without having to turn up at a shitty party for a pfb that no one cares about.

Is that at all helpful?

[Awomansworth]

Some people missing the point here... the issue is not about whether or not you want to go to the shitty party, but that you show some courtesy and reply to an invitation your child has been given.

[greeneyed]

jacqueline

[DonderandBlitzen]

Jacqueline. I'm sure all the invitations for your kids will dry up very soon!

[Floggingmolly]

Indeed, Donder. A quick "fuck off with your invites, you shower of bastards" and bingo, your weekends are your own again . Let's hope they do it right back when they receive one from you, Jacqueline

[JaquelineHyde]

Oooh quick call the police it looks as though someone has had their sense of humour stolen!

FYI the DCs (7, 7 and 5) are constantly invited to parties, all attempts at rudeness have failed. I am nothing but persistant though so fingers crossed you are all right and it will pay off soon.

Oh and I never have and never will do a ridiculous party for any of the DCs, they invite only true friends home and go to their true friends houses/parties quite often.

I personally think that popularity contests and one up manship parties and more rude and breed more bad manners than forgetting to every now and again answer one of 6 billion invites.

Obviously this is just my opinion and I expect none of you to agree with it!

[littleducks]

I haven't replied to two invites (that i know off)

1-dd was going to change schools the next week, the invite was from her 'best friend' who was very mean to her, I didnt want a refusal to give more ammunition to the girl to be mean to her about the whole 'your not coming to my party' thing,' we thought it would be better for dd o quietly change schools

2-dd loves writing notes to her friends they then write notes back, i totally missed a party invite in her book bag because the child had written her name on envelope and i had dismissed it as a reply to a little card she had made a few days before

[willesden]

I am always overjoyed when DCs get an invite to a party. It proves someone likes them me and I cannot wait to RSVP. People are ignorant.

[MrsMushroom]

Jaqueline she's not a PFB and you're probably the person everyone talks about behind her back.

[steben]

Mrsmushroom - 20 invites went out last week for party in 2 weeks - so far 12 responded however I did not put reply by date on them which would appear to be an error! Don't have other parents numbers to chase so may put a reminder note out. Really need to know as want to invite extras if those who have not responded are not coming!

[coffeeismywine]

I have a very very busy life and lots of children. I'm also a single parent. I'm working crazy hours at the moment and small children aren't reliable.

It's impossible for me to know - if an invite comes through for my ex's weekend I'll pass the invite to him but he's rubbish at responding. That's not my fault. Nor my responsibility.

Children from 20's to pre-teens means I have a lot to remember, I'm not perfect sometimes I forget.

I also have business trips away, sick parents, an alcoholic brother, friend needing a lot of support due to a stillbirth, upcoming gynae surgery (again) and other surgery on my knee (again).

A party invitation might slip my mind.

This type of OP that doesn't acknowledge in any way shape or form that your child's birthday party might not be top of someone else's list of priorities, that people are human and forget and that small children aren't reliable really gets right on my tits.

[MrsMushroom]

Coffee with all due respect, it takes a minute to send a text. I could list my enormous list of responsibilities, health problems, worries and dependents on here and say how I always respond to all invitations...but that would be martyr like imo.

People who imagine their problems to be the be all and end all get right on my tits.

[coffeeismywine]

You really don't get it do you? Your child's birthday party might slip my mind given that I am busy. It's important to you, but to me it's just a minor thing.

Also, if I send the email to my ex then I can't reply for him can I?

[Schooldidi]

I don't always respond straight away and when I have a lot of other things on my mind then a party invitation might easily slip my mind. When it's your own child's party then it is high on your priority list, when it's the 20th you've had that year and you have other important things going on, are not sure whether your child is free that day without checking, it's not quite so high on your priorities.

I completely understand why people don't always reply. It doesn't mean it doesn't annoy me when I'm organising a party, but I do understand why other people don't see replying to me as a high priority.

[lljkk]

it takes a minute to send a text.

You obviously haven't seen how slowly I text.

I think I need to take a few lessons from Jac-Hyde, I rsvp to every one of the very few invites DC receive. Obviously I'm going about it all wrong.

[JaquelineHyde]

Hahahahaha MrsMushroom with an attitude like yours (and obviously no sense of humour) I'm surprised you have had as many replies as you have.

You are obviously one of the Mums in the playground that loves to stand around having a good bitch about anyone and everyone that doesn't fit into your idea of perfect.

Oh and you must get right on your own tits as you clearly believe your problem about party invites is the be all and end all. That must be very annoying for you, do you tell yourself off in the mirror every morning or do you just bitch about yourself to your playground pals

[greeneyed]

jaqueline you are awful but I like you

[MrsMushroom]

Jaqueline the majority of posters are right beside me in hating bad manners. You' come across as a really awful person tbh. I do hope you suck some joy out of your empty days.