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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave my DD in her cot awake for a while before she goes to sleep?

47 replies

ScarletLady02 · 18/02/2013 19:38

May sound a bit odd, but I'd like to know if this is normal (PFB and no friends with young children).

We've always struggled with DD's sleep. She didn't sleep through AT ALL until she was over 18 months, and it took me months to get her to self settle. She's recently started going to bed later (She was two in December) We have a bed-time routine and she goes to bed at around 7.30 (she's just gone up). Some nights it takes her up to an hour to go to sleep. She isn't crying or whinging. She just chats away to herself. I can hear her now counting from 1 to 20 (she misses some out, but she's getting better ), and it's like she's going over everything she's said and learnt during the day. She seems quite happy, but I wanted to know, is it OK to just leave her like that? Do you think it's more fair to have her down stairs for longer?

Most nights it doesn't take her long to go to sleep so I don't want her getting over-tired...

Sorry I know I sound stupid and unsure of myself but I have no clue if this is normal.

OP posts:

kinkyfuckery · 18/02/2013 19:40

Totally fine, if she is safe and happy.
If she is up later, does she go to sleep in her cot faster?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 18/02/2013 19:40

Bless her! My DD was much the same at that age yes of course its ok to leave her up in her bed chatting away no damage will be done.

SoleSource · 18/02/2013 19:41

Yabu the bogey man might get her.

Original poster

ScarletLady02 · 18/02/2013 19:41

Not always....it's different every night really, but after chopping and changing things so much (I think I ended up confusing her and making it worse) I try and stick to a routine as much as I can. If she gets upset (maybe one night a fortnight), rather than leave her crying, I'll bring her down for 20 mins or so and then take her back up and she goes straight to sleep.

OP posts:

wannabedomesticgoddess · 18/02/2013 19:42

DD1 still does this some nights and shes four. Its often singing!

Its totally fine and IMO a good thing!

Original poster

ScarletLady02 · 18/02/2013 19:42

I did say I probably sound stupid....

OP posts:

Doretaball · 18/02/2013 19:42

My DD is about the same age and exactly the same.

I just leave her there chatting away and playing with her teddies etc. it got to the stage when she was still awake over an hour later so we reduced the length of her afternoon nap. She's still generally awake for about half an hour. I think it's good wind down time for them. My Dd is so ready for bed when we take her up to bath time, this just seems to be a second wind.

ShatnersBassoon · 18/02/2013 19:43

Yes, I think it's perfectly normal to leave children to get their bearings a bit before dozing off.

Geekster · 18/02/2013 19:44

I do this with my DD who is eleven months. It doesn't take her long to go to sleep at bedtime. But when I put her down for her afternoon nap we quite often hear her chatting happily to herself and playing with the toys in her cot. Sometimes it takes a while before she goes to sleep but she usually does. Sounds to me like your DD is fine with it, I've learnt from experience that my DD settles far better if I don't let her get over tired. I think the fact you can get her to self settle is really good.

SoleSource · 18/02/2013 19:44

yanbu :)

Geeklover · 18/02/2013 19:44

Dd used to do that as well.
I used to feel horribly guilty until my mum pointed out that when dd wasn't happy she was quick enough to let me know.
If she is quite happy chatting away to herself then leave her to it. Like you said she is going over the days events in her own head.

thebody · 18/02/2013 19:46

It's the same as you having a read/cuppa/chat in bed before lights off.

You are doing a wonderful job.

Indith · 18/02/2013 19:56

Children that age often need to wind down and chat through their day with their teddies. It is their way of processing everything they have done. My ds1 had terrible night terrors, he always slept better and had fewer terrors on the days he stayed awake and chatted to his toys before sleep. Sometimes he could be singing and talking for almost an hour! Very cute to listen to.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass · 18/02/2013 20:03

Awwww bless her. My DS is 2 next week and he goes to bed the same way. He chats away to himself and giggles, and self soothes his way to sleep. I put some music on for him too which he seems to like. I have got in to the dummy trap though as he cannot seem to part with the blummin thing, and trying to put him to bed without it is like the end of the world lol. Something I really do need to wean him off!

MrsSparkles · 18/02/2013 20:06

YADNBU - listened to my DD (21 months) tonight chuntering away to her teddies for about half an hour, I love it! So long as they're not upset leave them be I say.

AScorpionPitForMimes · 18/02/2013 20:09

She's settled and happy - sounds like a good wind down routine for her, you've obviously raised her to be confident and independent. You know you'll go to her if she's upset so there's no problem - good bedtime routine all round.

HazelnutinCaramel · 18/02/2013 20:11

Having a 2 yr old daughter myself, I'm guessing yours also lets you know loudly when she's not happy about something. So sounds fine to me and actually sounds like a good thing that she is happy to entertain herself for short periods.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 18/02/2013 20:12

My DS is nearly 18 months and he does this sometimes too. Tbh, I think it's good for them to get a bit of time on their own and relax and just chat away to nothing.

It's lovely to listen to. :)

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 18/02/2013 20:15

I remember reading somewhere that chatting to themselves as they go to sleep is a really important part of their speech development. One of ours used to do it, practising new words or singing songs. The other one never did, would scream unless cuddled to sleep - ended up with speech problems, don't know if it was related.

As someone else said, your daughter will soon let you know if she's not happy. Sounds like you have a very contented little one though.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 18/02/2013 20:18

She's lying in bed babbling to herself? Not screaming or whinging or anything?

Sounds like a stealth boast to me

mrsbunnylove · 18/02/2013 20:21

sounds brilliant. if she's happy and you're happy, go with it.
as a co-sleeper, i'd have been unhappy that the baby wasn't with me - but that was my choice. your way is fine.

MrsSparkles · 18/02/2013 20:32

hmmm - just went to check on chattering baby (once it stopped) and she'd emptied an entire pack of wipes over the cot. No wonder she was having such a good time!

crashdoll · 18/02/2013 20:35

YANBU, she sounds lovely and happy.

I babysit the sweetest little 2 year old girl who has the funniest conversations with her bunny in her cot. Poor bunny was being told off for tipping her milk all over the carpet last time I babysat!

Goldrill · 18/02/2013 20:36

Mine's the same age and has just finished her singing for the evening. Someone appears to have introduced her to Bob the Builder in recent days, so we had all the usual chattering and snippets of nursery rhymes with "can we fix it" interspersed. Brilliant!
She's also getting very bossy and keep telling her teddies to Lie Down - so they can be covered with the duvet and stroked (we have a new baby too and she's copying that).

It's fab - you can practically hear her brain making connections and organising all the stuff she's picked up during the day. They're amazing little beasties at this age!

elfycat · 18/02/2013 20:38

DD1 used to do this aged 2.5, sometimes until 10pm. We call it 'Talking to Teddies'. She's always been an owl I hope she's just about to go off to bed please! (aged 4)

DD2 (now 2.5) has just finished chatting for an hour. She was happy. I just popped in to check she hasn't removed her nappy (her new favorite trick)

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