May sound a bit odd, but I'd like to know if this is normal (PFB and no friends with young children).
We've always struggled with DD's sleep. She didn't sleep through AT ALL until she was over 18 months, and it took me months to get her to self settle. She's recently started going to bed later (She was two in December) We have a bed-time routine and she goes to bed at around 7.30 (she's just gone up). Some nights it takes her up to an hour to go to sleep. She isn't crying or whinging. She just chats away to herself. I can hear her now counting from 1 to 20 (she misses some out, but she's getting better 
), and it's like she's going over everything she's said and learnt during the day. She seems quite happy, but I wanted to know, is it OK to just leave her like that? Do you think it's more fair to have her down stairs for longer?
Most nights it doesn't take her long to go to sleep so I don't want her getting over-tired...
Sorry I know I sound stupid and unsure of myself but I have no clue if this is normal.
AIBU?
To leave my DD in her cot awake for a while before she goes to sleep?
ScarletLady02 · 18/02/2013 19:38
My DS1 is exactly the same - tbf he's slept through for a long time now and settled himself quite early on - but he goes down around 7pm every night & spends up to an hour and a half giving his bears a run down of his day. Sometimes, maybe 3 nights out of 10 he goes straight to sleep. If we go in to tuck him back in we generally find that he's lay on his back with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed chatting away! Going to bed later makes no difference other than he ends up going to sleep later.
Don't worry, your DD sounds quite happy - it makes lovely listening through the monitor too doesn't it
Thanks again for the responses.
maddening - This is how we did gradual retreat. I'm sure others have been different, as it took us AGES, but I couldn't hack leaving her to cry. First a bit of background.
She used to settle OK in a cot in our room until she was 10 months, but was still waking a few times a night for milk or water. Then we moved house and tried her in her own room (thinking back we probably should have done that in stages, but I didn't know any better). She completely freaked and refused to settle AT ALL. We ended up having to settle her in our bed, with me lying there and then leaving once she was asleep. Due to the size of our bed DH had to sleep downstairs. This went on for about 5 months until I decided enough was enough and she was going back in her cot. I missed DH being there to be blunt.
The first step was taking the side off the cot and pushing it up against the bed. To start with I would still lay there until she went to sleep. We did this for a couple of weeks and then the side went back on the cot and the cot went away from the bed. I would sit on the bed until she went to sleep. Another couple of weeks and I then sat on the other side of the bed (so further away). Once she was used to that we put the cot back in her room and I would sit in a chair. We stayed at this stage for a few weeks, sometimes it would take her two hours to go to sleep 
I know we probably could have done this quicker, and I'm sure many do, I'm just relaying exactly how it went.
Then one day I just left the room and stayed outside. She cried, and I would go in to her every couple of minutes just to let her know I was there (I suppose this is a variation of controlled crying, but I didn't know what else to do). It took about an hour the first night I think. It then got to the point where I could just leave the room. She was still waking in the night sometimes and sometimes she was still coming in the bed in the early hours - it was just easier than either listening to her cry or settling her back down in her cot.
Now she doesn't often wake in the night, but occasionally she does. Some nights she just will not settle in her cot and so we still co-sleep - maybe one or two nights a month. It is SO much better now, and I can't believe it took us so long to sort out.
So basically (sorry for mahoosive post) if you're thinking of doing gradual retreat, I would break it down in stages. In cot next to bed, away from bed, in her/his room but with you close, and then move away. How long you do each stage for is completely up to you and how you feel comfortable. I hope that helps 
Just to let you know Op, that a self settling baby, who coohs and chats and then falls asleep themselves is the ultimate 'going to sleep method' that most people AIM for, but fail to achieve miserably.
Hahaa, thanks Oblomov - it's taken us a while to get there, so I feel people's pain I really do. I walked around like a zombie for best part of 2 years. Some people have it far worse I know, but there is hope!
I laugh at my naive self who thought she would magically just sleep beautifully through the night by the time she was a couple of months old . I also remember growling at my SIL who always used to ask "is she STILL not sleeping through yet???"
She stopped asking eventually...
DS2 (4) does the same sort of thing and always has done really. Last night he was generally talking to himself then was singing 'ohhh sexy lady'. After having DS1 who took forever to self settle and sleep through I am more than happy for the DCs to chill out in their beds before dropping off.
Hello Sole
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