To think their is NOTHING wrong with extended breastfeeding or wet nursing?

[Thisisaname]

Look at the comments below

I was researching extended breastfeeding and came across this.
I see nothing wrong with this, I wouldn't be 'scared' for life if I could remember being breast fed or found out I was given someone else's milk.
I think the only 'scarring' would come from going from the natural environment of being fed from something to then finding out a large majority find it sexual, not the actual feeding itself.

[EauRouge]

I don't know why you would expect someone who was being told that they're disgusting/weird/odd to not defend themselves.

The length of breastfeeding (or whether it is done at all) should be a choice for the mother and child and it should not be judged. There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding past a certain age. There really isn't. If someone doesn't like it, that's OK- but don't think that just because it's your personal opinion that it won't be challenged by the person that's being judged. Opinions are not like some sacred thing that is untouchable.

[Absoluteeightiesgirl]

I have never said it was disgusting. I think that it taking it to far. In my opinion the women who do feature in these stories are perhaps not doing themselves any favours. It is almost as if they want to shock. I also don't get the use of the word 'proud' if they are trying to promote this type of BF as completely normal.
I don't know why I don't like it. I am only going on my feelings based on what I have seen/read.

[Antipag]

I think that it is interesting that it is he act of feeding that people seem to find difficult to cope with. I genuinely believe that this comes from the type of media distortion that snow talks about. I think it's so pervasive that people don't even realise that they have taken on the opinion that breasts are mainly sexual in function.

[Absoluteeightiesgirl]

Antipag
Maybe so.
But it is perhaps inevitable that society as a whole does take on this view.

[EauRouge]

No, you have never said it's disgusting but plenty of people do- I hear it a lot. You did say that you hated seeing walking/talking children being breastfed- can you see why that might upset someone who is BF a toddler or older child?

That's OK to base it on your feelings- gut reactions are hard to change. Maybe if you read a bit more or talked to extended breastfeeders then your feelings might change. Maybe you've seen or heard something at a young age that's made you feel like this. Our culture is very against extended breastfeeding and it's hard to break away from that thinking.

And no, it's not normal for our culture but it is biologically normal. A baby won't die if they are weaned early or never given breastmilk but that doesn't mean that it stops having benefits at a certain age or that it shouldn't happen. It's probably more common than you think to BF to age 4 or 5 or older but so many people keep it secret- you can probably guess why.

[ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight]

Not read the article but going from experience with DS2 ebf till he was nearly 4 and he pretty much tailed off on his own but now and again he likes to grab and cuddle me while saying 'I mess wiv you boobies' i don't have a problem with what any parent or child does that is right for them, for DS2 i don't think it was about the milk it was about the closeness and comfort ect ect

[BertieBotts]

The losing of the latch is related to adult teeth coming through and so I suspect very much that the range is a lot wider than 6-7 years - but I'm finding that although DS has lost his latch (at 4) he wants to continue occasionally. He will only ever "feed" for a few seconds and I doubt very much that he's getting anything, perhaps tiny tiny drops. Anyway the incidences of asking are getting further and further apart and he just accepts it if I say no now, so it won't continue for much longer.

I'm not particularly proud, no more than I am proud of the fact that he now uses a toilet rather than nappies or talks in sentences rather than a smattering of words and gestures - I do think it's a normal stage of development and I think it's sad that so many people think that "letting" a child feed until their natural end point is somehow wrong or even abusive.

[Antipag]

Absolute, I don't know that I think it is inevitable but I do think it is something that at this stage is very difficult to fight against. There are many perceptions and viewpoints we all pick up in our lives from influences we don't even realise are there. Unless the facts have changed recently, last I checked the worldwide average age for breast feeding was 4, it is very much a western culture issue, and I think as a woman in that culture who does EBF it can often feel like a constant battle against prejudice.

[MummytoKatie]

Out of interest has anyone managed to carry on bf beyond getting adult teeth. We stopped at 2.3 so it was never an issue but I can't see how it would work. (In my family we have definite "bunny teeth".)

Then again, before dd got her baby teeth I couldn't see how you could bf a child with baby teeth but then she got them and we just carried on......

[Moominsarescary]

Each to their own, i haven't bf past 6 months so have no experiance of extended bf.

I personally can't see myself bf past 3 years but that's just how I feel. Ds2 is 9 and I can't imagen bf him now.

I think she was stupid to even bring up feeding a teenager, people are bound to comment on that as so many people seem to dislike the idea of bf past toddler age

[Moominsarescary]

However ds4 is only 1 week old and I'm hoping to get to a year. Who knows how long I'll carry on after that.

[Softlysoftly]

Tube TUBE

[OxfordBags]

I think one of the frustrating things about how many people find EBF unsavoury, or whatever word they would choose, and then talk about their opinion vs EBFers' opinions, is that it is a scientifically proven FACT that EBF is healthy, moreover healthier than not doing. It can be very frustrating to be told that your belief in EBF is mere opinion, when you are expressing truths and facts, not subjective viewpoints. Disliking EBF is opinion. EBF being beneficial for a child (as well as all the wonderful bonding and comfort it offers) is fact.

Breastmilk is not always the same, like cow's milk, for example, it changes and evolves with the developmental stage of the child, eg it gets less fatty as time goes on. It is the most complex foodsource around and uniquely adaptable. It's pretty amazing stuff and it is a LIE - not opinion - a lie to say that children stop needing it after 6 months or maybe a year.

It's also culturally factual that EBF is entirely natural, as the majority of the world's population EBF. I read a brilliant article online recently about a company's failure to sell pushchairs in Nigeria, as the custom is to carry your infant on your back. Indeed, women were complaining about them being on sale at all, and the article ended with a wonderful quote from the leader of a mother's group complaining about having Western ideas of motherhood foisted upon them. She ended by saying "Next thing you know they'll be suggesting even more ridiculous ideas like stopping us breastfeeding in public!".

[FadBook]

Can I ask the EBF'ers (those beyond 12 months) if you still feed in public?

DD is 18 months, still BF, and I find myself avoiding public feeding if I can (ie distraction, water, snack). But the other week I used bf for the first time to calm her down (almighty toddler tantrum as we left the park). My motherly instinct must have kicked in as I couldn't give too hoots what anyone thought or saw, as my priority was calming dd down (which worked immediately)

I also feed at the BF cafe I volunteer at (if she 'asks') as other mums, new ones in particular see it as 'normal' then. That's how I came to feed beyond 12 months because the cafe I went to had EBF'ers there and I asked questions and learnt more about the benefits and reasons to continue beyond 12 months. I'd like to think I'm 'paying it forward' and influence even 1 mum to choose to feed beyond the normal 6 months.

[BimbaBirba]

My DS is only 12 months old and I'm already starting to get comments or looks or sneers from people about the fact that he's still breastfeeding. WTF? He's a baby and I'm his mum regardless of his age. What's weird about that? It's not like something happens at 6 months or 1 year or later (I guess) which suddenly makes breastfeeding feel "weird" or "wrong" to the mother or the baby. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that at 12 months my DS feeding from me doesn't feel any different from when he was a newborn?
I'm already dreading the comments and looks that will come in the following months.
Honestly people who think it's weird to breastfeed an older child only think so because they have never done it themselves for this long. Otherwise they would get it.

[allwaysthebaddie]

oxford do you have any children? As i see you never answered the question on the other thread and just jumped on to another child related thread. Do tell as intrigued now

[TotallyKerplunked]

DS is still BF at 18 months, no its not something I intended in fact I was so focused on getting it started that I never thought that far ahead. I dont do it for me, I would much rather he stopped but I will carry on as long as he wants it and I have found it useful. Recently DS has been very ill and I was assured by my Dr and HV that the reason he didn't end up in hospital was due to the BF, and of course its a great tantrum soother/bedtime inducer.

Unfortunately despite the support of the Dr/HV/WHO guidlines I have had "bitty" comments from PIL which I find extremly sad. Whatever works for you is what you should do, I dont criticise PIL/anybodys decision to FF.

If the woman in the article wants to continue til her DC is a teenager, good luck but I cant see her DC wanting to feed that long!

[MrsDimples]

The immunity properties of breast milk are increased in concentration feeding older babies / children. A child's immune system isn't fully developed til 5, so there are benefits to breast feeding beyond 6 months / a year / whatever other silly marker.

I'm still feeding my 3.5 year old & will continual for as long as she wants.

[EauRouge]

Fadbook I still BF both my DDs in public (not at the same time, DD2 pokes DD1 in the eye too much). DD1 is 4yo, DD2 will be 2yo in a couple of weeks. DD1 doesn't ask much when we're out unless she is hurt or scared. DD2 doesn't usually either, she's much less into it than DD1.

[OHforDUCKScake]

DS is 20 months and I still feed in public but Im extremely aware of it. Only because I know others might at it.

[TotallyKerplunked]

FADBOOK - yes I do occasionally BF in public still if DS really needs me to(most recently on a packed train after x-mas shopping), I cant say I noticed anyones reactions tbh but then again he had been shouting "booby" so i'm sure they were glad of the peace!

[slatternlymother]

To the ladies that bf beyond 1 year; did you get much more than a 'disapproving look'?

Do you think it's possible that because it's still not the cultural norm, that you misinterpreted these people? Perhaps they were looking at you in admiration?

[OxfordBags]

Allwaysthebaddie, my first comment on this thread was about my son. I read lots of threads on MN and post on a few, I hardly 'jump' between specific ones with an agenda