was OH being unreasonable re work

[milf90]

OH is a teacher and his school was shut yesterday and closed early friday (but the head left it way too late, 2 of the school coaches crashed and there was a big accident outside the school making it nearly impossible for anybody to leave. it took OH 2 hours to do a 15 minute journey).

The head is a bit of a nob tbh. nobody likes her, she seems to hate her staff and likes to turn them against each other. it makes the school an unpleasant place to work at times. she really has it against my OH - when i was in hospital with a suspected ectopic pregnancy she thought he was lying about it and asked a lot of personal questions before he was allowed to leave to see me in hospital (on a afternoon where he had no classes or other responsibilities apart from marking might i add...). Last school year she also got in big trouble because she flipped at OH for doing something (He didnt do anything wrong at all) and called him a lot of names and when OH complained to deputy she had to back track a lot and got in a bit of trouble!!

anyway back to the point - this morning OH couldnt get his car to move at all. its a rear wheel drive, very impractical car tbf, but the road conditions on our estate are treacherous. he tried for about 20-30 minutes to get his car out and failed miserably. it was also very icey and he fell over 3 times trying to do this. he called his friend who works at the school and lives nearby for a lift, but he couldnt get hold of him. He rang school and explained the situation and asked if anybody could pick him up. he explained that it is very dangerous to walk on the pavements and road because tis so slippy (last week i fractured my coccyx because i slipped over on the ice and it wasnt anywhere near as bad as it is now). he had a phone call back off the head asking him to explain himself and said she didnt care how icey it was, he needs to walk or get a bus.

the bus is a good 10/15 minute walk away on a good day and is all up hill by busy roads. IT is also another 10 minute walk when he has gotten off the bus (on a normal day). OH fell over SEVEN times on his way - he now has a sprained ankle, sprained wrist and has hurt his back.

do you think OH was unreasonable to say he didnt think he could get to work? or was the head unreasonable for making him walk and get bus to work in dangerous conditions??

[ilovesooty]

I think given the tightening on capability and the forthcoming changes to teachers' pay and conditions your husband would be wise to begin building some bridges with the HT.

And yes, if school is open he should be making reasonable efforts to get there, and if he'd been properly prepared it shouldn't have been the problem it was.

[TeaOneSugar]

Lets hope the HT isn't a MNer.

[ilovesooty]

I hadn't thought of that, Tea. I bet it's possible some of his colleagues or school parents are though.

[porridgewithalmondmilk]

Doesn't it at least partly depend on how it is done?

I am a head of department at a secondary school. If a member of my department rang unable to get in, I would politely explain they might have to forgo a day's pay if the school was open. I would not however (and nor would my HT permit me!) to be hostile, rude or aggressive to a member of staff.

Work troubles can be awful, OP. I sympathise and hope your partner can find a happier post elsewhere. x

[TeaOneSugar]

As someone said up thread somewhere that there are details here which would clearly identify the school to most parents and all staff.

[wherearemysocka]

On every other thread of this nature I've been defending teachers, saying that tons of people have taken days off, that parents would be the first to complain and sue if their child is injured (and don't send them in adequately dressed), not a babysitter etc etc.

But if the buses were running and a 15 min walk away then I'm sorry but he is being unreasonable. He needs to get those coil things for his boots. I have more leg problems than you can shake a stick (or crutch?!) at and I would have made the effort.

The aggressive Head is a different matter - she sounds awful and I don't blame your DH for not wanting to put himself out for her. From a neutral perspective though, he could have made it in. It gives all teachers a bad name when some won't make a reasonable effort to get in and means we all get slated when there's real cause to close.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

You can buy grit.

If your driveway is so slippery that you can't even get as far as your car which is on the road then you need to deal with it.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I seriously despair if this is the kind of person who is teaching our children.

I want my DCs self-reliant, with a good work ethic and able to use their initiative.

Not finding excuse after excuse about why they can't do something, and boo too why haven't the government provided everyone with the relevant equipment to overcome everyday obstacles.

[featherbag]

YABU. On Sunday I set out on foot at 6am and walked 4 miles in a blizzard to get to work, took me an hour as the conditions were so bad. I'm a nurse, people rely on me, I didn't even consider not going in!

[doublecakeplease]

Ridiculous - he's a grown man and should have walked to the bus stop which i'm sure his pupils would have done! Tell him to man up!

[spg1983]

I walked 5 miles to a midwife appointment and back again in the snow, and I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I'm a teacher too and because I knew I had to get to work, I cleared our drive, car and path outside our house on the one snow day we got... I feel very sorry for your DH with the situation with the head but I do think that he needed to be more prepared to get his car/driveway ready for travel. I also think that the walk/bus journeys etc were not too bad at all for a fit and healthy person.

[cardibach]

I live on a very narrow lane which is almost 2 miles from a main road. last time there was too much ice on my road I walked up to the main road where a colleague picked me up. I did it all in reverse at the end of the day.
I'm a teacher, too, so don't worry about your DCs Alibaba. Most of us are fine.

[WorraLiberty]

OP, are you married to Bambi?

[wherearemysocka]

Please don't take this as the attitude of all teachers. Despite what the BBC and the papers might imply!

[AlwaysBizzy]

YABU
Your husband is BU
Maybe he should resign & work somewhere else.
I feel sorry for the head TBH. I'd be cross if I had to manage such lazy staff too.

[Goodadvice1980]

OP, I think you mean "loser" and not "looser" ....

[yohohoho]

Both you and your dh were unprepared. I was in the us until last Friday and I knew this was forecast. Your dh was also aware he had a job.

[Jinsei]

Sorry you're having a bad time OP, but I'm afraid yabu. The roads are treacherous near me and I'm having to walk to work as I'm a complete wuss about driving in the snow and ice. It takes about 15-20 minutes on a good day, longer in the ice, with lots of uphill and downhill bits.

I don't relish the walk at all, but I can't just not go to work, so I went out and bought some decent shoes with a good grip before the snow arrived. I've nearly gone over a few times but have managed to stay upright whilst others have been falling over. Decent footwear really does make a huge difference. Your DH presumably knew that the snow was on its way and that he would have to get to work. The onus was on him to ensure that he was properly prepared.

[cricketballs]

After all the defending about school closures which are not the actual classroom teachers fault we have had to deal with I then read this thread....

Op - your DH sounds like a total wet blanket if he can not manage to clear dives/car/walk to a bus stop. This is just normal behaviour for the vast majority of the population in order to continue with life! If this is how you and your DH lead your lives I am not surprised at your DH's HT being annoyed at this latest revelation .

[crashdoll]

Your OH sounds very precious. If the buses are running and the walk isn't 12 miles, I don't see why he couldn't have made it.

[scottishmummy]

this is mn fuckery,because it's a guy
reverse the genders strident male HT berating female to attend,you'd get sympathy
don't sweat it op,that's the way aibu goes.hope you and dh make recovery from your falls

[newNN]

Loads of teachers at my children's school were off work today because they couldn't make it into school due to the snow. It happens.

Yes the OP's dh could have prepared a bit better, but it could be that although buses on the main roads were running, it could still have been very hard to get to those main roads.

The head sounds like a nasty bully and perhaps your dh ought to consider formalising a complaint next time she is behaving inappropriately.

[GotMyGoat]

Erm... I'm dyspraxic, which effects coordination and balance, but somehow have managed to walk the 15mins to the train station, and then the 10 mins the other side each day without falling over. I've set off extra early, have worn my grippiest boots (wellies, so not the best - but the best I have) and have taken it VEEEERRRRYYYY SLLLLOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLEEEEEEEYYYY. I've walked in the road where I can, as these are often gritted and have walked on the fresh snow where I can see it. It's difficult, and takes a lot of brain power but its doable.

I think it was unreasonable of your DH to call up without trying to attempt the journey by foot, if he had set off 10 mins after working out the car wasn't going to move then he would have had plenty of time to calmly walk the 15 mins to the bus stop.

I wonder if he was trying to be a bit of a martyr about it. Sorry, it just all sounds very wingey.

Sorry about your accident, by the way. That sounds nasty, hope your able to rest comfortably.