was OH being unreasonable re work

[milf90]

OH is a teacher and his school was shut yesterday and closed early friday (but the head left it way too late, 2 of the school coaches crashed and there was a big accident outside the school making it nearly impossible for anybody to leave. it took OH 2 hours to do a 15 minute journey).

The head is a bit of a nob tbh. nobody likes her, she seems to hate her staff and likes to turn them against each other. it makes the school an unpleasant place to work at times. she really has it against my OH - when i was in hospital with a suspected ectopic pregnancy she thought he was lying about it and asked a lot of personal questions before he was allowed to leave to see me in hospital (on a afternoon where he had no classes or other responsibilities apart from marking might i add...). Last school year she also got in big trouble because she flipped at OH for doing something (He didnt do anything wrong at all) and called him a lot of names and when OH complained to deputy she had to back track a lot and got in a bit of trouble!!

anyway back to the point - this morning OH couldnt get his car to move at all. its a rear wheel drive, very impractical car tbf, but the road conditions on our estate are treacherous. he tried for about 20-30 minutes to get his car out and failed miserably. it was also very icey and he fell over 3 times trying to do this. he called his friend who works at the school and lives nearby for a lift, but he couldnt get hold of him. He rang school and explained the situation and asked if anybody could pick him up. he explained that it is very dangerous to walk on the pavements and road because tis so slippy (last week i fractured my coccyx because i slipped over on the ice and it wasnt anywhere near as bad as it is now). he had a phone call back off the head asking him to explain himself and said she didnt care how icey it was, he needs to walk or get a bus.

the bus is a good 10/15 minute walk away on a good day and is all up hill by busy roads. IT is also another 10 minute walk when he has gotten off the bus (on a normal day). OH fell over SEVEN times on his way - he now has a sprained ankle, sprained wrist and has hurt his back.

do you think OH was unreasonable to say he didnt think he could get to work? or was the head unreasonable for making him walk and get bus to work in dangerous conditions??

[noblegiraffe]

You don't have grit, salt, a shovel or winter shoes in the house and yet it's not like the snow was a big surprise. And I don't think it's the council's fault or the Head being unreasonable in expecting adults to be prepared.

You complain that DH fell over three times on your driveway yet say that there was no point in clearing the driveway? Clearly there was!

Conditions can't be that bad if the buses are running.

[FeltOverlooked]

Re the snow, some people have got rid of theirs with a large garden broom rather than a shovel. Might be easier on your back?

[pictish]

Ooooh but the bus stop is 15 minutes walk away!! A whole 15 minutes! The poor man could have died being outdoors and having to use his own legs for 15 minutes!

OP yabu. I live a mile and half away from the school - our conditions are the same as your as you describe them, and me and my 11 yr old, 5 yr old and 3 yr old made it all the way there on foot this morning. Then the 5 yr old and 3 yr old walked all the way back again at the end of nursery, stopping off at the supermarket on the way for the days groceries.

Your dh is well lame!

[DialsMavis]

I had to walk DS down a very long, very steep hill today which is covered in thick ice, we just walk in the middle of the road.

[BalloonTwister]

Agree with other posters - your dh should have been better prepared, especially as he had all day yesterday to clear the snow off the drive and from around the car!

[milf90]

iv asked for this thread to be closed. i posted asking for opinions not personal attacks such as "he's a pathetic wet blanket" "What a total looser" "muppets" thats out of order... i know aibu? can be like this, but i made a mistake posting because i am not in the right emotionally state at the moment to be called names.

also whois thanks for that, i fell over wearing snow boots and walking very slowly and carefully - should have known it was actually because im a total 'looser'

[sooperdooper]

I think you're both being a bit melodramatic, I have a 10min walk to the bus stop & 15mins when I get off as my normal travel to work, sorry if I've missed this but what kind of footwear was he wearing to fall over so much? I've been wearing wellies for the walk and carrying some shoes in a bag to change into

[cory]

You are not actually meeting the objections of those of us who are not making personal attacks either.

It was the responsibility of your dh to clear the driveway, not just for his sake but for the sake of the postman etc. Your bad back is no reason he^ couldn't be out there with a shovel.

If he genuinely couldn't make it to the bus stop, he could have called a taxi.

Other people seem to have managed, why is he different?

[adeucalione]

Good grief OP, I can't imagine being married to someone so wimpy.

If the estate was treacherous, why hadn't he moved his car to the main road?

If he fell over three times trying to move his car, he really should've put something down for traction (the AA were recommending a piece of old carpet or a doormat if you hadn't been organised enough to buy grit - grit available at Halfords btw).

If he tried to persuade someone to come and pick him up, why didn't he consider calling a taxi firm?

And a 10 min walk to the bus stop, up hill, in icy conditions, is what most people expect from...well...Winter. It comes every year, so not exactly a surprise is it?

From what you've said I'd bet any money that the other altercations with the head were over similar things, poor head.

[Sugarice]

milf90 what a 'ahem' charming nn.

You can't throw a hissy fit because posters haven't backed you up when you've sought opinions and they've been less than agreeable.

Suck it up and don't take it so seriously!

By the way, the HT at his school sounds horrible to work with, sympathies for that.

[manticlimactic]

I left my car on the nearest bus route when the snow started. Roads are like ice rinks round here. At least I can get to work after I slide to the car.

YABU. If he doesn't have suitable footwear or grips then a pair of socks over shoes works great. I did this with black ice we had the other week.

[msrisotto]

ok, milf...you're taking this personally but can't you see where people are coming from? I mean, this weather happened last year too...

[FeltOverlooked]

Fair enough, but please take heed of some of the practical safety advice on this thread. Tell your DH to pick up some grit on the way home. Mine came from Tesco in 1.5 kilo bags, so he'll easily carry two. Then you can at least make it safe for anyone to get to your front door and for you to get out.

Sorry you fell over, that can happen at any time though. It is not a reason to stay inside till summer. Falling over seven times on a 15 minute walk does indicate either a lack of care or poor choice of shoes. I walked my children 1.5 miles to school yesterday and none of us fell. I do spend proper money on boots though. I carried a ruck sack with decent shoes to change into at work.

[pictish]

manti

I shouldn't laugh, but I just did.

OP - give over with the whole but-we're-special routine.
You're not. Get on with it the pair of you!

[milf90]

If he doesn't have suitable footwear or grips then a pair of socks over shoes works great

thank you thats good advice.

Suck it up and don't take it so seriously!

im not having a hissy fit, im being honest - i shouldnt have posted this because its just upsetting me. i posted this to distract me from more serious issues that i have going on at the moment ( i wont bore you with my sob story) i have nothing against people posting their opinions and some people have said some good advice (and i have realised how under prepared for the snow we are), but the name calling and attacks i do find upsetting.

[coraltoes]

I broke my arm in the snow last week. Yesterday I walked 30 mins to my hospital appt. I didn't die.

[cory]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time.

However, your dh should be able to manage a minor matter like this without lumbering you with it if you are under the weather. Lots of little annoying things happen to all of us every day at work. Is he supporting you generally speaking?

[bluecarrot]

Sprained ankle and wrist? Maybe there's different levels but when I sprained my ankle I couldn't bear weight for almost a week....and needed crutch for a week after that. I certainly could not have got up and gone on to work even with a dragon like boss.

Perhaps he should get to a chemist or drs and get checked out and necessary compression packs. If boss says anything he can show her the hideous bruising and she might stop :)

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Sorry you're having a hard time atm, however there's been a lot of useful suggestions on this thread that might help both of you manage any further bad weather better. Dh is a grown man and should be able to get to work.

[littlemonkeychops]

I agree with those who have said he's being feeble, it's only snow, i walked 30mins into work 2 years ago when 6 months pregnant, didn't occur to me not to. You put on sensible footwear and watch your step, not rocket science :-)

[signet]

YABU. I have to walk 3 children to school 15 minutes away on treacherous paths and if we can manage it then your husband can. Just leave plenty of time and go slowly. It's really not that difficult. Hope he gets home safely.

[houseelfdobby]

yes, no need for name calling. I too am sorry you are having a hard time. Sometimes things can be overwhelming and there is a silly last straw and perhaps this was it for you (hugs). But pick your battles - this isn't a good one. Concentrate on your more "serious issues" and try to be practical about the day to day stuff. Good luck.

[RedHelenB]

Seeing as DH was off work yesterday then he should have de iced your drive & walkways then!! Everyone did on our street!! ( apart from lazy me that on the first warning of snow parks her car right at the edge of the driveway) I made sure the step etc was clear though!