To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

[Catsnotrats]

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

[LoopsInHoops]

I'm not sure there are any statistics available on that. However, ice falls are not just 'falls from standing height'. They often involve broken bones, and sometimes horizontal movement. Pain and stress from other injuries can add towards a spontaneous miscarriage.

OP, when you have a child, you do everything you can to protect it. That means minimizing risk where possible. When I had a newborn I avoided walking in the ice with her, being pregnant is the same, apart from you are less balanced and therefore more likely to fall over (in fact, more likely to sustain injury due to bodily changes) when pregnant.

[Catsnotrats]

Btw thank you everybody for the virtual slap. It has helped me in feeling less irritated with her. I do actually know the reasons why she is being precious - as I said I'm just getting tired of hearing about it constantly.

[MarcelineTheVampireQueen]

Doesn't sound to me like she is missing work, sounds like she is getting a cab.

What's your real problem with it op?

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

*FAKEBOOK

[PureQuintessence]

Walking on snow and ice can be quite tricky if you have not quiet learnt how to avoid slipping. It also depends a lot on your foot wear.

If you have rubber soles, the suction helps, but if your soles are in hard plastic, it will be like walking with sledges under your feet.

Trainers, or mountain boots, or any boots should be fine.

I have seen a lot of people walking out in the street, rather on slightly snow covered pavements... That would in fact be worse, as wet sleet is more slippery than a "fresh" and still white dusting of snow.

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

So there ARE underlying reasons? Oh OP you're a great friend.

[Iamsparklyknickers]

I don't think it's a particularly high risk, but why take it if you don't have too? And as others have said it's not just about the baby, injuries when you're pregnant aren't fun, most people avoid medication if they can so would opt for the minimum and probably least effective option.

Why don't you arrange to meet her if you're using the same route and cadge a lift?

[LoopsInHoops]

Also, many years ago when I and a number of colleagues were pregnant, school (work) closed because H&S didn't deem it appropriate for us all to drive in the conditions, and there were so many of us pregnant that it made opening untenable.

[AllYoursBabooshka]

2 days ago I would have probably said YANBU but not now!

I was out with walking with DS two days ago and slipped on some ice that was covered in snow. I'm also 13 weeks pg and it really, really frightened me.

Thankfully I caught myself before I hit the dirt but if I had of fell it would have been quite bad.

I haven't been out since and don't plan on it until the snow fucks off so don't judge her too harshly, her DH is just looking out for her.

[Catsnotrats]

No I'm not being a good friend, which is why I've asked if Iabu. It's an excuse to get some frustrations out and being told that I'm being a bitch is making me rein it back in. Surely that is the point of aibu?

[LoopsInHoops]

Yes, and well done for taking it on the chin. :)

[Twattybollocks]

She does sound slightly over cautious, but once you get pregnant you worry about every bloody silly little thing.
I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, and am very much avoiding walking in snow or ice, given that my pelvis is coming apart at the seams, even landing on my arse would be excruciating and an experience I'd rather not have just now!

[Catsnotrats]

Sparklyknickers - no way am I getting in a minicab in this weather, but that is me being precious

[Iamsparklyknickers]

catsnotrats I do sympathise with you hearing about nothing else off her - to be fair it's very very dull.

I'm willing to bet she's just one of those people though, if she was buying a house you'd hear nothing else, if she was getting married it'd be all about that.... I'm not a fan of people who are like that myself, but you do have to bite your tongue if you work with her.

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Yabu I'm pregnant and I'm avoiding going out in the snow- I know my limits. Sounds like your friend is being sensible

[MurderOfGoths]

I'm rhesus neg and was reminded constantly through my pregnancy (by doctors etc) that if I fell I'd have to go to hospital just in case.

I also struggled with SPD for much of the pregnancy, and had mobility issues that were independent of the pregnancy.

Unsurprisingly I refused to go out in the snow.

[CatelynStark]

Does it matter how common it is, OP?

I had a fall at 4 months pregnant & was terrified for a few hours that I'd done the baby some damage.

I'm amazed that more people don't put Ice Gripper things on their boots - I wouldn't be without mine in the snow/ice. They work.

[PurpleStorm]

YABU.

I know a number of people who've fallen and broken bones on snow & ice. None of them were pregnant, but I can understand someone wanting to be extra cautious on snow & ice if they were.

Even if a pregnant women doesn't hit her stomach when falling, getting a broken bone would probably involve needing x-rays and painkillers, and possibly more, which could potentially harm an unborn baby.

And your colleague may have had miscarriages or have other underlying health issues that mean she's feeling extra nervous about something going wrong.

[Fakebook]

I've had miscarriages myself. They weren't caused by falling or getting too cold in the snow. They were caused by a problem I had with my biochemistry.

The OP doesn't mention her friend suffers from hyperemesis gravidaram or SPD or anything else. So with that information I'd still say, that in this case, pregnancy isn't an illness.

Getting banned from walking in the snow! Whatever next!

[TwllBach]

I've had two miscarriages and, even though I know now that falling in the first trimester is not particularly dangerous to the baby, I would be terrified to walk in the snow.

I would also think it was none of your business, OP. I would be trying to protect myself and my baby, even if it is just from a psychological danger and it wouldn't be affecting you because I'm still in work!

[MarilynValentine]

Definitely a virtual slap for you OP

You don't know her history. She could have every reason to be worried.

[MurderOfGoths]

Fakebook, the OP says " I do actually know the reasons why she is being precious" which suggests that there is an underlying issue

[badguider]

I don't think anybody's husband should ban them from doing anything. If my dh wasn't happy with something I was doing we would discuss it.

Personally, I am in the first trimester and went out running yesterday in the snow because exercise is one of the few things that keep the nausea at bay and I have grippy fell-running shoes.

If I were the OP I would feel compelled to check that the friend was not being overly controlled by her dh and not over worried and stressed by the pregnancy in general as I do think not walking in snow is slightly over-protective for 13 weeks but if she is ok and this isn't a symptom of either over-worry on her part or over-control on his then I guess it's her decision.

[TheNebulousBoojum]

'I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct'

Trust me, you buffoon, your instincts change when you are pregnant.
You stop being the most important thing in your life, and worry, often irrationally, about the baby inside you.
et a grip, she's not asking you for a lift, and you're not her friend if something so insignificant and harmless pisses you off. Get some earplugs.

[bedmonster]

OP, I think you know YABU, it's slippy and she doesn't want to fall. Fair enough.
Though a friend of mine is 30 weeks pg and her DP has banned her from going out in it unnecessarily and I think it's pretty sweet that he's being so protective of her and his tiny baby.
However, some people do tend to use pregnancy as an excuse to do fuck all for 9 months (yes SIL, i'm looking at you!), though it doesn't seem like this is the case with your friend.
Just leave her be, you're probably a bit jealous that someones making a bit of a fuss over her - if you're ever pg, you'll very possibly feel slightly miffed if no one makes any special concessions towards you