..to be surprised at this woman's opinions on First Communion and Catholic Schools..

[fourfingerkitkat]

Was chatting to another mum at our toddler group this morning about my DS and her DD who are due to start school in August. I have enrolled DS in a nearby Catholic school (dh and I are both very lapsed Catholics !) as I believe it's one of the better ones in the area and I'm hoping he'll be able to attend the Catholic secondary that I went to which is a good school. Woman I was chatting to has had a few arguments with her partner who is protestant and feels very strongly against his daughter attending a Catholic school and being "brainwashed". I told her he's entitled to his opinion but my DS and DD haven't been baptised Catholic therefore they won't be making their First Communion or Confirmation and so won't be getting "brainwashed". She seemed really shocked that I was going to deny my DD a First Communion and the chance of getting dressed up in big fat gypsy wedding style dress...I was open mouthed at that point...

[LionelBear]

Of course there will be brainwashing- this is an organisation which believes women are second class citizens. And then there's the views on sexuality and homosexuality. Why would you want your children taught that way? (and yes i did go to a catholic school)

[ComposHat]

That is something I've not quite grasped yet, the array of Protestant Sects in Scotland there's loads all with very similar names.

They all seem to be on a mission to outdo each other on who can be the most austere and miserable and who can ban the most pleasurable activities on the Sabbath.

[GothAnneGeddes]

Ah yes. Tolerant France, where the hugely racist and bigoted Front National are the third largest political party. Sounds great .

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

But OP you weren't trying to say what begonia was.

[fourfingerkitkat]

Monty27 - Read all the effin' posts! The comments about brainwashing came from this other woman's partner (not me!) And with reference to the the FHC, we can opt out of this, therefore I don't have a problem with sending my son or daughter to the Catholic school. I've heard great things about the school and like the atmosphere in the place when I've been there so have no concerns.

KenDoddsDadsDog - Yes, I realise that now, spent bloody ages typing another post but deleted it by mistake so you didn't see that. I was basically saying the same as Begonia....I can send my child to whatever bloody school I like (as can anyone else) if the school accepts them. What's so wrong with wanting the best for your child ?

The whole reason for my original post was my surprise at this other lady's comments regarding FHC. I may have misunderstood her, but she did not seem to be taking the sacrement seriously and was more concerned that my child would be missing out on dressing up for a day like her friends.

[FryOneFatManic]

I love the double standards here.

Either a faith school will brainwash the kids, and the parent's influence is negligible.

Or, using a mumsnet standard, the parent is the main influence in the child's life so kids won't necessarily get brainwashed, if indeed it does happen. (We have a catholic primary locally and I've only heard good reports about it.)

Which is it to be?

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

Yes of course you can - I would never deny you that right. But your oh so smart arsed comments about FHC have riled a few people. Surely you can understand that . Good luck with it all.

[BegoniaBampot]

but fhc is about the dress to a lot of folk. i know someone whose dd changed to a catholic school. ddidn't want hr to feel left out so got hr baptised. also one year they changed it to every child wearing identical monk type robes, girls could wear flowers in their hair. it was lovely but next year the parents went back to fancy frocks and kilts. years ago one little girl turned up at church in a horse drawn carriage.

[fourfingerkitkat]

KenDodds....it wasn't my other half ! FFS ! The woman I was speaking to said her OH did not want her child to go to a Catholic school because she would be "brainwashed"...

FFS....I'm off for a cup of tea..

[millie30]

OP, I think KenDoddsDadsDog meant 'oh' the word, not 'oh' as in other half. But it was you who referred to FHC dresses as big fat gypsy style wasn't it? Why would you want your DCs to go to a school when you are so sneery about the practices which are very important to that particular faith?

[ICBINEG]

Scotland has non-denominational schools? Fab - sign me up!

Both parents and the school bias and brain wash. The truly bad combination is atheist parents - religious school.

There is nothing quite like being told at school that you and your parents are evil and should repent. Likewise being the only kid in assembly refusing to pray isn't great.

Obviously all forms of brain washing are bad but when the school and parents conflict you can really cause general screwing up and doom.

[BegoniaBampot]

Icbinbeg - I really think you sound out of touch as to how schools deal with any religious teachings. Which schools tell the pupils that their parents are evil?

[ICBINEG]

well on the one hand you are almost certainly right about me being out of touch. On the other hand if you teach kids that people need to read the bible, do the confession thang, go to church...and...oh yes believe in god in order to go to heaven/be good people then by implication people who don't do those things are not making the grade.

There are MN threads about kids coming home from school and asking parents why they are evil/damned/not going to heaven etc.

There was a particularly wrenching one in which the child was hysterical about getting her parents to go to church because she didn't want mummy and daddy to go to hell.

I grew up going to sunday school and singing in the church choir etc. and I can confirm that it is a horrible experience when you realise that the dire fates awaiting the unbelievers along with the implicit assumption that one must believe in order to be a good/moral person means that all the people around you must think you are a bad person and destined for hell etc. because you ARE the unbeliever. No matter how much you want to believe...you just don't. So that's you they have been talking about all this time....

[Floggingmolly]

You say you've "enrolled" your children; but baulk at having them baptised.
You haven't a hope in hell of getting a place, so I imagine the gypsy wedding scenario is pretty much irrelevant.

[fourfingerkitkat]

Floggingmolly...where did I say that I baulk at the thought of baptism...? Don't recall that at all. I simply said they have not been baptised. I visited the school last year shortly before his 4th birthday, completed all the relevant paperwork. They know he is not baptised. I have a place for him.

My reference to the big fat gypsey style FHC was referring to the way I think things have headed in the last couple of years. As I said in an earlier post, I've seen in my own family what is supposed to be an important religious event turned into a monumental party and a piss up (and a chance to out do other mothers because their wee girl has the fanciest dress, etc, etc). I fully appreciate that not EVERYONE has his approach to FHC and apologise to those I've offended....

[mindosa]

You are sending your son to a Catholic school where he will listen to Catholic teaching even though you havent had him baptised and you are judging the mother who wants her child to make their communion?
That doesnt really make sense

[Oblomov]

I find the OP's comments very odd and quite offensive.
Ds1 has just completed his Holy Communion and it was nothing about big dresses or drinking party afterwards.
And for the record, I am not catholic, my dh's family is. But I took it very seriously, as I think you should do.
The lack of respect on this thread is nothing short of shocking.

[Oblomov]

Op is in Scotland right?
The school place has been agreed already?
I only ask becasue down here in the 'home counties', the deadline for school places was yesterday, Jan 15th, and I don't hear for certain that ds2 has got a place until mid April.

[mindosa]

Oblomov I am always surprised the level of faith school bashing and the number of posters who tend to jump on anyone who chooses a faith school despite not necessarily being devout.

[atthewelles]

There is more to First Holy Communion than getting 'dressed up in a big fat gypsy wedding dress'. It is hypocritical parents, who don't practise their religion but insist on taking part in its sacraments, who have created this image.
OP, I also think its hypocritical to send your child to a Catholic school if both you and DH have rejected the faith it stands for.

[Monty27]

Oooh OP's posts are getting sweary.

Yes but you seem to condone such attitudes.

[Oblomov]

By the way, each school is different.
Ds1's is very very catholic. As one poster said, 'every breath they take'.
And of the intake, recently 1/2 have siblings. And for the last 4 years, intake has been 100% catholic. There used to be some other denominations and non faith , quite a few years ago, but the catholic demand is so high, that at OUR school, nealy 20 families who attend our local catholic church weekly, never got in last year.
So , it all depends on demand.

[fourfingerkitkat]

Oblomov - I honestly apologise if my comments offended you. Your DS1's communion sounds exactly the way it should be done ! I'm talking about people who see it as an opportunity to show their kids off (little girls especially) and turn it into something it shouldn't be. About 90% of my family are still practicing Catholics, I respect their beliefs even though there's lots I don't agree with.

If I'm a hypocrite for wanting my child to go to what I believe is the best school in the area then I can live with that.

Monty27 - Condone what attitudes ? Swearing ? Grow up for God's sake (no pun intended)

[BegoniaBampot]

why is it hypocritical? the op wants her child to go to good school nearby, she is breaking no rules. nowhere has she said she has a problem with it being catholic. maybe she should send her child to a school further away with not so good a rep, that makes perfect sense.

[VikingVagine]

DH and I are both atheists. Both are kids go to a private Catholic school. We'd burn in hell if we believed in it