..to be surprised at this woman's opinions on First Communion and Catholic Schools..

[fourfingerkitkat]

Was chatting to another mum at our toddler group this morning about my DS and her DD who are due to start school in August. I have enrolled DS in a nearby Catholic school (dh and I are both very lapsed Catholics !) as I believe it's one of the better ones in the area and I'm hoping he'll be able to attend the Catholic secondary that I went to which is a good school. Woman I was chatting to has had a few arguments with her partner who is protestant and feels very strongly against his daughter attending a Catholic school and being "brainwashed". I told her he's entitled to his opinion but my DS and DD haven't been baptised Catholic therefore they won't be making their First Communion or Confirmation and so won't be getting "brainwashed". She seemed really shocked that I was going to deny my DD a First Communion and the chance of getting dressed up in big fat gypsy wedding style dress...I was open mouthed at that point...

[goldiehorn]

So I am assuming that you went to a catholic school then? And make ridiculous sweeping generalising statements such as the one about based on just what you have experienced?

I am not saying that all catholic schools are amazing places and that everyone should send their kids there, and I understand that there probably are a few pretty strict ones left, even today.

But neither have I made statements such as you are naive in teh extreme if you think your DD will get out of catholic primary and secondary education unscathed. based just on my own experience. I am unscathed, so have already proved you wrong.

[goldiehorn]

Sorry that post was to booyhoo

[olivo]

My DD goes to an independent Catholic school. We are are C of E, they were baptised at around 1. They prepare for first communion at church , not at their school. They do prayers, grace and hymns in assembly, just as I used to at my non denominational junior school. all other 'religion' is taught in RE. Most children are baptised, not all. There are no other 'faith' schools here.

[ninah]

I am unscathed (at least spiritually)

[Booyhoo]

OP even if you opt out of your child making first confessions, holy communion and confirmation there will be preparations for them during class time. your child will hear talk of her peers having to confess their sins to a priest (at 6/7 years of age!) she will still be involved in the discussions about it all unless you ask for her to be removed from class (and go where?) everytime they are to do something associated with it. when i say unscathed, i mean she will not leave catholic education without absorbing a good deal of the catholic message/ideals/'morals'

[Annunziata]

First Holy Communion is important for Catholic children. It's a big event, and if you go to a Catholic school and have a Catholic family, it is very easy to feel as though you are missing out.

I may still be upset my sisters got new dresses and I didn't

The brainwashing thing, from a Protestant in the West of Scotland? Hah. Better get used to stupid comments.

[Llareggub]

My DCs have just started at a Catholic primary. It is a lovely school and I was very honest with the HT about my lack of faith. I only turned to it because all of the schools in my immediate vicinity were full and the Catholic school has a bus that stops at the end of my road.

My DCs are enjoying the prayers. They find it fascinating. The school has a strong community and we have been made to feel very welcome.

[Loislane78]

booyhoo I went to a Catholic primary, secondary and sixth form and didn't have the experience you seem to describing. I don't doubt your experience, i'm suggesting not everyone's will be like that.

[5Foot5]

Booyhoo "how do you think i know what they're like? "

How long ago was that, if you don't mind me asking?

The reason I ask is that DH was educated at RC schools, both primary and secondary. Before we had DC he used to say he would never send a child of his to a Catholic primary school. He remembered his as being staffed mainly by elderly ladies who confused superstition with religion and bullied children in to going to mass, serving on the alter and so on. His secondary was better I think, but for the first few years was largely run by elderly priests who were not actually qualified. They were subsequently sent packing by a new headmaster who improved things somewhat.

Anyway, when we had DD we decided we would get her baptised. I am C of E but in name only so was quite OK about DD being baptised as RC. At this point we had no thought of doing this for school admission purposes for reasons given above. However, when DD was about two we received a letter from the local RC primary seeing if we wanted to to an open evening. Obviously we were on a list now following baptism. DH decided to go and have a look and came back very impressed, despite his earlier reservations.

Subsequent enquiries suggested that the school and the local RC secondary had a very good reputation so that is where she went. We haven't regretted it for a minute. Although obviously there is a grounding in catholicism and she did prepare for First Communion I would definitely not describe it as brainwashing. They also learned about other faiths and quite a few of the children at the school were non-Catholic.

Not everyone in DDs year did First Communion but they wre all included in the celebration and party afterwards.

[BridgetJonesPants]

My DD attends Catholic school in Edinburgh and is preparing for her FC this year. Lessons this year are once a week for an hour and it's the sacremental group who leave the class. The children not making FC do general RE or handwriting whilst the sacremental group are away doing their preperation.

She made her 'first reconcilliation' last year and FYI Booyhoo, they no longer talk about confessing sins - children are encouraged to think how their actions affect others and is there anything they've done that's not so nice. At DD's school, the Children made this sacrement in the school hall, and went up to the priest with their parents one by one. It was a lovely occasion & no-one was intimidated by it.

Lastly, I would describe the ethos in my DD's school as Christian rather than soely Catholic - they encourage sharing, caring etc.

[apostropheuse]

lilyliz you said:

"Iam not catholic but lots of friends are,here(central Scotland )you do not get into the local catholic school unless baptised"

That's actually not true. In fact there's no legal requirement to have been baptised. Children who enrol are asked for a baptismal certificate if they are Catholic. This is so that the Catholic children can go on to receive their other sacraments at the appropriate time.

In fact there are Muslim children, Jewish Children, childrend of other Christian denominations and children of no faith whatsoever at Catholic schools in Scotland. Scotland's Catholic schools differ from England in that they are fully funded by the local authority and you cannot exclude a child from Catholic school just because they are not Catholic.

[AmberSocks]

i wasnt baptised and i went to a catholic school,rhey have to let a certain per centage of non/other faiths in bylaw,or they used to.

I hate religion in schools,i dont see the point of it,i think it shoud be something personal.

[ThalianotFailure]

as a complete aside here (sorry, OP), is it possible for a CofE baptised child to have first communion? I'm RC, DH CofE, we had to choose something for DD, and for various (long winded and dull)reasons chose CofE. But, I'm kind of changing my mind about it, and one thing (whatever I do) I would like is for DD to have her First Communion, as others have said it was a special day for me, and her cousin will have it the year before and I would like it for her. Would it be possible?

sorry for hijack.

[Annunziata]

I am 80% sure she would need to be baptised a Catholic ThalianotaFailure, but I may be wrong. You'd need to ask a priest (and possibly put a put more of the spiritual side into your argument).

[apostropheuse]

The Catholic Church recognise baptism of other Christian denomnations. However, your DD would have to be catechised before receiving First Communion. She would also have to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation first. You would also have to show that your intention was to bring her to Mass regularly - or there would really be no point in doing it.

Your best idea would be to go and discuss it with your local Catholic priest.

[ThalianotFailure]

oh yes, of course. I am thinking of starting to go to the RC church (I had been taking DD to the Anglican one) anyway, but wondered if she would be able to have her FC anyway. Also, I think possibly some very high Anglican churches do First Communion, though I may have made that up.

[apostropheuse]

Sorry I should have said it depends on which Christian denomination she is baptised in. The CofE would be recognised as a valid baptism.

[Annunziata]

That's interesting, I never knew that :)

[apostropheuse]

It's true that we all learn something new every day!

[wigglesrock]

ThalianotFailure As far as I'm aware she would need to be baptised and have her Sacrament of Reconciliation as well. My nephew is making his First Communion this year, although he was baptised. He is attending preparation classes as well (doesn't attend an Catholic school).

[wigglesrock]

There you go, lots of x posts

[ThalianotFailure]

thanks apostropheuse, that's good to know it can still happen.

[ThalianotFailure]

oops, x-posted with wiggles. I shall take myself to mass this weekend and ASK!

[apostropheuse]

Yes that's right wigglesrock but as she's already baptised she cannot be baptised again. The Catholic Church wouldn't re-do the sacrament already given.

She would therefore be catechised and receive Reconciliation before First Communion.