...to not be happy with the way the school does things?

[gimmecakeandcandy]

I need opinions here please...

My child started school last September so he is in reception but I - and lots of other mums - have not been very happy with the lack of communication with regards to how our kids are doing/their progress etc. Other mums I know with children at other schools have told me they get updates via email, text, etc on things going on, one mum told me her school invited parents in so they could take them through how they teach the kids to read etc so they could follow it up at home, etc.

At our school I learnt from another mum that some kids have had reading books but others haven't and I had to ask about it, whereas I expected more communication about how our kids are getting on. There just seems to be a general lack of communication compared to what i hear from friends with children at other schools and it is bugging me as I'm not sure if I should be bugged iyswim!

Should I be 'bugged' or not?! I just don't know!

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

Erm, Texts? Emails? Really?!

My school has no such thing. We have a thing called "going in and speaking to the teacher at the end of the day if you have a query regards the children's education". Its pretty "out there" I know.

Seriously though its reception. They are probably doing the "Learning Through Play" thing my DD did last year. Tbh, it worried me a tiny bit to begin with, but from her going in unable to write her own name to the end of the year where she can write stories, draw elaborate pictures and recognise a hell of a lot of words, I don't have a problem with it.

Not all schools have pots of cash to use modern technology. If its a tiny school, a text/email to 10 parent's is nothing. If its bigger, and you have 30 per class, that's just impossible.

Our school has two parent's evenings (joint with all parents) a year (ours is coming up) and a report at the end of the year.

If the book thing worries you, get the child a library card and read to them yourself.

[outtolunchagain]

Fellowship it is not impossible we have just done some research on this and found that more than half of primary schools now use parent mail or equivalent , and lots use the text add on.

I don't think the OP is wanting stacks of info just a bitof communication. It sounds odd to me , all the primary schools my dc have been to have class newsletters etc and if something new was in the bag there would be something to explain what you were meant to do with it. Parents are not mind readers.

[outtolunchagain]

Plush one parents work and not all can get in to speak to the teacher after school , the query may just be a generic one anyway which would the teacher prefer; short photocopied note in bag or having to speak to 20 confused parents

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

Fair enough to want info, but surely its simply a case of walking into the school and asking? If the teacher ignores your concerns, then speak with the head.

I have to say though I have never heard of texts and emails though. Maybe my area is old fashioned? Money is surely better spent elsewhere?

[swallowedAfly]

my son is at a little village primary school and they email, use group call and do a weekly newsletter as well as the parent sessions for phonics in reception and a 'how are they settling in' parents evening in october after they start school.

it doesn't cost money for the admin staff to send emails - not extra money anyway - it's a basic part of the job to communicate with parents.

not sure why OP is getting such harsh responses. parent/school communication and partnership is a vital part of education and something ofsted inspects on. it's absolutely critical at the time of starting school to make the transition smooth and to ensure parental support with learning.

[swallowedAfly]

in fact it's fairly obvious that emails and texts are cheaper in fact that typing, printing and photocopying letters and making individual phonecalls.

[Tanith]

Just as time consuming, though.

As for OFSTED inspecting on it - well, should they be?! They've already drowned the Early Years in a sea of unnecessary paperwork.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Lol... I expected some harsh over the top responses so no worries there... After all this is aibu bad some posters like to go wayyyyy over the top in their response but that's their beef. Go to the library and get them a book to read! Lol... As if I hadn't thought of that (doh)

I think workshop sessions on how to support the teaching by learning how they do things is an excellent idea and I shall be following that up and volunteering to help in any way I can.

[swallowedAfly]

of course it's quicker to type an email and click group send to the parents than to type, print, photocopy, distribute

and YES they should inspect on it because it is proven to have such a profound impact on children's learning and results!

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

gimmee erm, seriously? How am I over the top? You asked for advice, I gave it. Its really sodding obvious. You sound positively neurotic about your child, having no books sent home and the reasons for it. If you are concerned THEN SODDING WELL ASK! Its not hard is it? Now that as a response is "way over the top".

How am I harsh in saying if you want your child to read at a young age, you are their parent, so either buy them books or take them to the library? Or how is it harsh to say I'm baffled by this attitude that teacher's should account for lazy parents should chase parent's with emails and texts? How about face to face contact?

Next you'll complain that "oh the teacher spends far too much time texting me and not enough time on my poor defenseless child".

FFS. If you don't like the reply, don't post on AIBU.

Some people are never happy.

[wonkylegs]

The parents saying it's not so hard to go in and speak to the teacher I disagree. I drop my son off at school in the morning but we aren't allowed to speak to the teacher then you can only leave a message if urgent with the TA whose on door duty. You can only speak to your Childs teacher after school at pick up. In the afternoon DS goes to afterschool club when I'm working which until recently was everyday, so no chance to actually talk to the teacher. TBH parents 'evenings' are as much of a palaver as DSs school defines 'evening' as 2.30pm-4.45pm which doesn't coincide with everybody else's definition and requires and afternoon off work to accommodate.

[yellowsubmarine53]

wonky, my friend is in a similar situation in as much that she works full time, so doesn't have the opportunity for a quick word before or after school.

She put a note in her dd's book bag asking for a time to meet before school as this was the only time she could possibly do and the teacher gave her an appointment.

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

Or, if not phone the school at lunchtime or arrange a conference call for that time? There are solutions people, I prefer face to face, especially when it comes to my children. I would hate those round robin types of email where the teacher has simply input your child's name in a box.

[herecomestherainbloodyyetagain]

Just picking up a small thing mentioned earlier in the thread "This is a state school in a not particularly wealthy area of London so I'm not convinced budgets have anything to do with it."

You'll probably find that the more wealthy the area, the less funding a state school now receives. A school with lots of FSM children will get the pupil premium etc.

Not that I think that makes much difference to the amount of communication.

[Dancergirl]

swallowedafly I disagree regarding parental support with learning and it doesn't have much to do with how much communication from school you get. You will always get parents who highly value education, regularly read to and with their dc, talk to their dc about science, history, nature etc, practice times tables, visit museums etc etc. And also parents who don't take too much interest. And everyone in between. But I really don't think getting a weekly progress report on your child is going to change how parents support education.

As for reading books - explanation on what to do with them?? Really?? Have your child read the book to you and put a short comment how they found it. It's not rocket science.

I think a common excuse these days is 'how they teach is all different these days'. But there are many different methods, it's not either or. I don't particularly like some of the modern maths methods, eg long multiplication. So I showed my dd the traditional method as an alternative. Children can cope with different ways of doing things as long as its explained well.

[swallowedAfly]

contact that explains what is being taught and how and how to support that at home improves parental input. this is not rocket science. even well intentioned parents can find themselves undermining learning if they don't understand the system of phonics the school is using or learning to read is facilitated by the school. i don't see how this is disputable tbh.

and yes an explanation on how to support reading is VITALLY important for many, many parents who may lack literacy confidence, may not have english as their first language or have been schooled here or in recent times. it may not be rocket science to you but for some parents it is. maybe for some of the parents who you assume 'don't take too much interest' are exactly the ones who need some guidance and confidence boosting from the school in order to take a more proactive role in supporting learning.

your post reeks of privilege and ignorance.

also i'm an ex teacher - all of this stuff is researched and evidenced HENCE schools being inspected on it.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

fellowship take a chill pill lovey, and unclench a bit... If anyone is coming across as over the top and a bit angry it ain't me. Seriously - unclench a bit.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Excellent points swallowed a fly - this has been very interesting

[Fakebook]

I don't understand the weird responses either. I think it's perfectly normal to want to know what your child is learning in their first days at school. Why wouldn't OP be worried about her child not taking a book home? If the teacher had sent a letter home explaining some children will start before others then she wouldn't be worrying now.

As for going into school and talking to the teacher: pffftahahaha, is it really that simple? So what happens when 30 parents want to talk to the teacher every morning to ask what their child has been upto? It's never going to be as simple as that. The teachers need to have some kind of correspondence with the parents, and I find it shocking that some people in this thread are not interested in what their child learns at foundation because "it's not important". It is very important imo.

Why is the first year a foundation year? Because these are the building blocks that your child will use to learn in the future. If they can learn to learn in a way that is fun and enjoyable, it will help them succeed later in life. So yeah. The reception/foundation year is bloody important and you're a bit naïve to think otherwise.

[Nuttyprofessor]

We had a meeting with the teacher at the end of the first week. We were told how to form letters and help with reading. We were asked to volunteer to hear the children read. We had diaries that were written in by parent and teacher on a daily basis. Weekly news letters. Parents evening once a term.

I dont think the op is being unreasonable at all.

[bluer]

I think it's a bit ott to expect texts and emails etc. the poor teacher is expected to do that for the while class or individually? Where do you think the time for all these unnecessary extras comes from? As long as you get your report etc and unless you have a real issue I wouldn't expect more.

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

gimmee bore off, there's a love.

You cannot ask a twattish question in aibu then be bitchy when you get people giving you an answer you don't like.

points op in the direction of flouncers corner and gives her a helpful shove

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Fellowship you are utterly hilarious and In need of a good old unclencccchhh. You amuse me so much so carry on if you want to lovey otherwise you know where the door is.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Oh and FYI I'm not fussed about your answers fellow - just amused at your rants!

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Hi bluer, it's not that I expect texts or emails - I was just thinking about them as some other schools do them. I do think the workshops are a great idea though.