...to not be happy with the way the school does things?

[gimmecakeandcandy]

I need opinions here please...

My child started school last September so he is in reception but I - and lots of other mums - have not been very happy with the lack of communication with regards to how our kids are doing/their progress etc. Other mums I know with children at other schools have told me they get updates via email, text, etc on things going on, one mum told me her school invited parents in so they could take them through how they teach the kids to read etc so they could follow it up at home, etc.

At our school I learnt from another mum that some kids have had reading books but others haven't and I had to ask about it, whereas I expected more communication about how our kids are getting on. There just seems to be a general lack of communication compared to what i hear from friends with children at other schools and it is bugging me as I'm not sure if I should be bugged iyswim!

Should I be 'bugged' or not?! I just don't know!

[maddening]

But for working parents their children may be picked up by an after school club and not get many chances to see the teacher.

[Goldmandra]

It's not just about instructions either.

Many of us were taught to use different letter sounds from those our children are learning. They don't pronounce 'm' as 'muh' as I was taught at school but rather as 'mmm' like the indicator that something tastes nice. It can confuse children if schools are teaching one set of sounds and parents another and the only way to ensure parents are using the right sounds in home reading is to invite them into school and teach them.

[badguider]

I am not a stupid person but I wouldn't know by instinct what to do with a reading book sent home - read one page? the whole book? by when? is there a deadline or target? or do they just read what they feel like as if it were a library book?

Also, I don't know WTF a 'wordpot' is and although my child is not yet 4 I don't think I'd expect her to relay the instructions fully at 4.

[swallowedAfly]

i agree with much of that but i don't think it applies where it comes to parent teacher communication and cooperation.

i'm not a teacher anymore by the way. i work in FE in a pastoral role supporting students and staff, running diversity and equality initiatives and trying to engage 'hard to reach' groups in education.

teaching is a hard job but it is definitely made easier by having enabled and engaged parents.

[Dancergirl]

You sound like an excellent teacher swallowed and I have every respect for teachers like you. It's a tough job to do well, I couldn't do it. But I really have sympathy for the amount of paperwork teachers have to do these days, it must surely get in the way of the job in hand?

I'm a governor and sometimes find it hard to believe how much time is wasted in meetings and in producing so many documents, policies etc. If it means improvement to the school that's fair enough, but more often than not, nothing changes and we spend the next year discussing the same issues again and again. This is why I get so frustrated with much of the modern teaching system. Too much time time talking, analysing, self evaluating and not enough teaching.

[Dancergirl]

Fair point swallowed I stand corrected.

[swallowedAfly]

especially when you have a full time classroom assistant in with you - something we never had.

[swallowedAfly]

teachers not children

[swallowedAfly]

i prepare to be flamed by primary school children here but as an ex secondary school teacher who taught on average 300 kids per week plus my form group and had to follow up any concerns with each and every one of them and write reports twice a year for every single one of them and do a parents evening for every single one of them i don't have much sympathy with the idea that writing a few notes on the only 30 children you teach day in day out is that much of a burden.

[swallowedAfly]

yeah why try dancer? in fact why bother to even school those kids! and lets just assume those parents are lazy good for nothings and ignore all the ones who had bad experiences at school, are perhaps dyslexic or, like my friend, are thai and worried they'll mess up their child's learning if they get involved because they can't make all the sounds right themselves. don't bother communicating with parents or making efforts to get the less educated ones to feel confident about supporting their child's learning. just write them off. the naice middle class children will do ok and we'll assume all the others are the offspring of feckless idiots who don't deserve a chance anyway

i'm not naive - i have been educated on this stuff and apart from that i believe in giving kids and people in general lots of chances.

even interested parents who would desperately like to help may not best know how. there are more reasons than laziness for not being able to help your children.

i've given intake evening presentations to parents and was initially stunned by the way some of them hung right at the back of the room looking scared and sheepish and like very small children themselves. you soon learn that actually lots and lots of adults had bad experiences at school and are actually really intimidated by the whole thing. some were raised being told they were 'thick' when in fact they were dyslexic or even just had poor eyesight and couldn't see the board. all sorts of negative experiences that bizarrely to us maybe have a lasting impact on that persons self esteem around schools and learning.

even if the events are poorly attended it's worth it imo. and if one of those parents attends and learns something and is reassured she may well pass that on to her friend who didn't have the confidence/time/interest to attend.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

I think swallowedafly makes excellent points.

[Dancergirl]

swallowedafly so you really think a letter/email/text explaining how to support your child at home is going to make the uninterested parent suddenly sit up and take notice? Or would the letter stay un-read at the bottom of the book-bag? Or given a quick read and ignored?

I think you're being naive.

[bluer]

It's fair enough I guess. I just feel as a teacher that the more admin nonsense that's added on the less time there is for planning and marking. Parents can have to much information at times! we have to give estimates at the start of a year for example and nowadays the parents are informed. Cue lots of anxious letters and calls etc. the point being we usually have to make these estimates far too early and usually pupils do far far better by the time we do final estimates. So basically a lot of worry for nothing!

[Strictly1]

If you can give them an idea of what you'd like to find out I'm sure they will do it as everyone benefits. I teach but still asked the school if they were using the term phoneme or sound as I don't want to confuse my son using different terminology so I do appreciate that it can be confusing.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Thanks strictly I appreciate what you say I really do. I will ask about a workshop as it is of benefit to everyone and I am more than wiling to help out.

Fakebook - I think I luff you

[Strictly1]

As a teacher and a mum I can see both sides and I find my DH take on things interesting as he is a SAHD. he too was frustrated with the lack of communication but when I pointed out that his 10 minute update would have to be multiplied by 30 etc and how this would dramatically add to my working week, yet in real terms have no impact on the pupils' learning he thought maybe that it was too much. As a teacher I am always more than happy to meet with parents to discuss things but will only seek out parents outside of parents evening if their child has done something particularly well or needs additional support etc as I simply don't have the time to see all parents and in fairness, not all parents like to talk to us!
Info evenings/afternoons are good but in my experience, working at different schools, are rarely well attended and so tend to be spread out to encourage attendance.
If you're worried always ask :0)

[Fakebook]

...twattish question? I can only see one person making twattish comments tbh.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Hi bluer, it's not that I expect texts or emails - I was just thinking about them as some other schools do them. I do think the workshops are a great idea though.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Oh and FYI I'm not fussed about your answers fellow - just amused at your rants!

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Fellowship you are utterly hilarious and In need of a good old unclencccchhh. You amuse me so much so carry on if you want to lovey otherwise you know where the door is.

[FellowshipOfFineFellows]

gimmee bore off, there's a love.

You cannot ask a twattish question in aibu then be bitchy when you get people giving you an answer you don't like.

points op in the direction of flouncers corner and gives her a helpful shove

[bluer]

I think it's a bit ott to expect texts and emails etc. the poor teacher is expected to do that for the while class or individually? Where do you think the time for all these unnecessary extras comes from? As long as you get your report etc and unless you have a real issue I wouldn't expect more.

[Nuttyprofessor]

We had a meeting with the teacher at the end of the first week. We were told how to form letters and help with reading. We were asked to volunteer to hear the children read. We had diaries that were written in by parent and teacher on a daily basis. Weekly news letters. Parents evening once a term.

I dont think the op is being unreasonable at all.

[Fakebook]

I don't understand the weird responses either. I think it's perfectly normal to want to know what your child is learning in their first days at school. Why wouldn't OP be worried about her child not taking a book home? If the teacher had sent a letter home explaining some children will start before others then she wouldn't be worrying now.

As for going into school and talking to the teacher: pffftahahaha, is it really that simple? So what happens when 30 parents want to talk to the teacher every morning to ask what their child has been upto? It's never going to be as simple as that. The teachers need to have some kind of correspondence with the parents, and I find it shocking that some people in this thread are not interested in what their child learns at foundation because "it's not important". It is very important imo.

Why is the first year a foundation year? Because these are the building blocks that your child will use to learn in the future. If they can learn to learn in a way that is fun and enjoyable, it will help them succeed later in life. So yeah. The reception/foundation year is bloody important and you're a bit naïve to think otherwise.

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Excellent points swallowed a fly - this has been very interesting