My DSIL, her wife and their twin DDs (9months) have come to stay. They have been living in San Fran while my DSIL's wife (also SIL, obvs. but it gets confusing... will use DSILW for speed) has been studying and SIL has been on Mat leave.
SIL can't get a visa to work in the US so they are back, and staying with us until they decide what they're doing... It depends, apparently, on which job DSILW will get/take, one here or one in Europe.
It's only been 3 days but I've had it already...
I KNOW they have twins, but there are two of them as well, neither working at the moment, and my house looks like a bomb site.
They are still on West Coast Time, which means that they are bathing their twins at 1am, up most of the night and the squawking babies are keeping everyone up, including my DDs.They are making no effort to adjust their children's body clocks. We gently suggested that maybe, at 10pm last night they ought to consider waking their DDs from their 'nap' to try and ease them towards UK time. "We don;t believe in waking them when they're sleeping because they'll be really grumpy...". NOt half as f-ing grumpy as we will be if you keep us up all night again...
They are, having had twins the bloody EXPERTS in bloody EVERYTHING parenting related, and are constantly being disapproving of things in a rather snooty way "Well, WE don't think..." "When you have TWINS...." "WE don't believe in television, could we turn it off?" (Um, no, it's Saturday and my DDs are knackered because your DDs kept them up all night so they are being allowed to watch a film and eat sandwiches on the sofa.) "We believe in all eating TOGETHER at the table". Etc. They haven't done the 'terrible twos' yet, I wat to tell them to F-off and come back to me in five years. Every bloody sentence starts with "When you have twins...". They're still bloody babies, love. Not a different species. And having 2x 9 month olds doesn't give you a position from whch to advise me on raising my 5 year old and my 2.5 year old.
We were making creamy porridge for breakfast, and offered some to their DDs. They asked if it was made with cows milk. We said "naturally"... They looked like we were going to poison their DDs and said "We're not introducing cows milk until they are 12 months old. Can you make some with formula?". They are feeding them yoghurt and cheese. I suggested in that being the case that some cows milk in some porridge wouldn't kill them, and that, AFAIU, it's just that cows milk ought not to be given as a main drink before then. Cue much sighing and "We just don't think it's good for them." Twits.
They are CONSTANTLY scathing about the UK. The weather. The "lack of things to do with children". (We live in nappy valley. Seriously. They just haven't looked). The fact that you don't get monthly checkups with a paediatrician as standard. (Their kids are perfectly healthy, but they seem to like getting monthly bloods done for fun..). The fact it's SO HARD to drive anywhere, and, really how can we get anywhere WITH TWINS without a car? (Um, use your f-ing Bugaboo Donkey, perhaps?). I feel like telling them to f-off back to the US if it's so star spangled awesome.
They're going to my in-laws for Christmas, but will be back with us in Jan until they sort themselves out.
Gees. I'm going to combust.
db
xx
AIBU?
To give my DSILs a mouthful?
designerbaby · 09/12/2012 15:52
OMG, they are insufferable!
Can your DH have a word with his sister? (I assume that is the SIL connection?)
Don't give them a mouthful, find a way to stand your ground in a firm but reasonable way.
Requests to turn off the TV? "Ah, well it's part of our children's life occasionally and i'm fine with that so I'll let them finish watching this film". Staying up all night? "I know it's hard and it must be extra hard with twins, but as my children need their rest can we keep the noise down in the night, please?"
Ignore health pfb lunacy, we've all done it over something, just let them make their own porrige etc. Ignore, ignore, ignore, while smiling inwardly to yourself.
One of the things I like, in general, about Americans is that they speak directly and can be spoken to directly without people taking the hump as they might here, so be calm and direct over yor own needs.
But rarely was a 
more deserved.
I would say that it might be easier for them to stay in a hotel or B&B rather than struggling to adjust to living in your house. Suggest it. 
Offer to allow them to use your internet to find something quickly.
Overtired DD2 and the DSILs would be an interesting one.
But, if I'm honest, the twins are super high-maintenance. One refuses to be put down, ever. they both whinge CONSTANTLY. And they seem to be having milk feeds every five minutes... Bottles EVERYWHERE all over the house.
(TBH DD2 probably drank just as much, but because it was BF I barely noticed. As it is, bottle making seems to be an endless task...)
No, um, no thanks!
Can't get them deported. Despite their obvious disdain for the UK DSIL has a citizenship and DSILW is obs. EU.
Good thought though and v. tempting...
What will be fun will be to hear reports of their three weeks with my 'deeply intolerant of mess and disruption' inlaws.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
db
xx
Tell them you've bought a lovely lunch for the twins - a lovely greggs sausage roll, some pom bears and a fruit shoot, with a big bag of haribo for pudding 
Seriously though, YANBU, especially about the sleep thing. I would not accept being woken in the middle of the night by anyone but DD who is in her own time zone apparently.
They asked you to turn off your television in your house while your children were watching a film?
Who the fuck do they think they are?
I think that was the point at which in needed pointing out to them that you are doing them a massive favour and that they are free to fuck off if your generosity doesn't meet their approval.
So you have 2 Saffers and a German, 2 of them via the land of fruit and nuts and with with PFB x 2 going on? not wildly stereotyping at all
Jesus wept OP I salute you! 
I'm also going to bug their luggage, so as to hear the moment (about a week from now) when MIL goes into a indignant rant about them "Making extra work for the maids!"
Actually, I forgot for a minute that their two aren't actually half German, since DSILW is a woman and therefore unable to provide the required DNA. 
I have no idea what nationality their other half is...
I did remark how much like DSILW one of them looked (she does!) and they were a bit . Perhaps they thought I was taking the piss. I wasn't. I just genuinely forgot they weren't biologically related...
Maybe they think I'm an utter cow?!
OP, you earned your when you said they're up at 1am bathing their girls!
You are more forgiving and patient than I would be...
Sometimes I actually am thankful for having a small house!
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