WIU to knock this kid off his bike with my car?

[Unacceptable]

Ok first of all, I didn't. But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to and I'm horrified at how close I came to actually doing it.
I'm shocked at myself and think maybe I have issues and this was not a normal, reasonable or healthy thought.

Sorry but to give you the full facts this may be a bit long.

A few months ago I was driving home, running a little late for school pick up. I hate to park on the school road so I always park a few minutes walk away. To get to the car park you need to drive down a very long and narrow road, it only allows for one car to get through and so you often have to pull into a gap to let oncoming vehicles past.

As I turned the corner to go down this road there was a lad on a bike, riding no handed very, very slowly while texting. I should point out that while 2 cars cannot comfortably drive alongside past each other there is enough room to overtake a bicycle (it leads to a popular cycle route so this is very common). I hung back admittedly feeling a bit impatient and muttering to myself about lack of respect, upstart thinking he was king of the road but certain that he'd send his message or whatever before moving to let me overtake him.

He didn't so halfway down the road with an eye on the time I beeped my horn. He moved over.
Well I thought he was moving over to let me past.
He wasn't he was moving slightly over but not enough that I could safely pass him.
He stopped at the front of my car, spat on windscreen then came to side and used (I think) his phone to violently bang against my passenger window.
As he was banging his bike fell away from him and I sped off.
It terrified me. The look in his eyes was one of pure hatred and rage-I'm certain that if I hadn't been behind a glass window he'd have hurt me. I had my baby in the back seat on the passenger side and had visions of glass shattering over him. It really shook me up. I cried when a mum on the playground asked if I was ok.

I've seen this lad a few times since. He's old enough to have left school, I'd guess 17.

Last night when returning home I saw him on the pavement, on his bike. Again he was riding none handed and on his phone.

I was alongside and knew that we would arrive at the bottom of my road at the same time.

I knew he wouldn't check the traffic.

I knew that I could turn into the road and 'accidently' knock him off his bike.

He was wearing all black clothing, no lights on bike and it was very dark.

I even locked my car doors in anticipation of him jumping up from road to attack me.

As it was I hit my brakes as he glided past in front of my car without so much of a headturn to see the vehicle that was a second away from hitting him.

I'm disgusted to say I'm disappointed that I stopped. I've replayed the scenario over and over all night and kick myself for not hitting him! I have a son almost his age fgs! How can I have even considered this? Have come so close to doing it? Be annoyed at myself for having not done it?

Can any of you say you'd have behaved the same way?

[quirrelquarrel]

Sorry to be so aggressive, I was just shocked!

[KenLeeeeeee]

The lad sounds like an utter arse and I would be furious too, and have certainly had intrusive thoughts about other situations in the past. I completely understand what the OP has explained and I don't think for a moment that she's dangerous or unhinged. The fact that she's so disturbed by her own reaction demonstrates that she has a reasonably good grasp of reality. She's hardly sitting and plotting this kid's demise, whilst believing wholeheartedly that it's a perfectly acceptable thing to do!

OP, glad to see that you know it would have been a) highly unreasonable and b) massively illegal for you to retaliate against this kid. I think you possibly could do with debriefing to someone about the first incident though, just to give you some closure on it so you don't feel the bile rising every time you see him out and about. I wonder if there's any way the police would have a word with him about cycling responsibly (ie wearing a helmet and high vis gear, keeping his hands on the handles and not fucking texting whilst on the road!). At least then he's less likely to pose a danger to himself and other road users.

[Dominodonkey]

quirrel You are right - I am a very judgemental person to the extent of being horrible at times. Not to be a melodramatic but it makes me sad that kids like this behave like this and others lose their lives with horrible diseases and or through things that are no fault of their own. Like the kids who were killed when a car mounted a kerb and ran into them.

[quirrelquarrel]

Domino I think we're just REALLY removed from the OP's situation- so all we feel is sympathy for her, really, without actually feeling how scared and anxious/confused she must be, and it's easy to demonise the boy. So it's hard to get some perspective. It's just that I'm closer in age to the little fucker boy, so maybe I'm kind of getting a bit indignant on his behalf, as irrational as that might be.
It makes me sad too, you're absolutely right on that point, but when you're young you just don't appreciate how fragile life can be.

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Okay the weirdos have come out of the woodwork now. The op has agreed she shouldn't have honked - the suitable response to what this idiot was doing was to keep a safe distance and resign herself to being stuck behind a prat for longer than she'd care to be.

To describe another human being as a piece of scum whose loss could only be a benefit to society is sinking to a whole new level of low.

[Ephiny]

I don't think this sounds like 'intrusive thoughts' at all. It's not having a sudden thought about doing something awful that's the problem. Lots of people have those. I've had them occasionally.

But sitting there at home afterwards, disappointed and kicking yourself for not doing it, and seriously asking the question whether or not it would have been unreasonable to do it? That doesn't sound like the same thing to me.

[LineRunner]

He stopped at the front of my car, spat on windscreen then came to side and used (I think) his phone to violently bang against my passenger window.

Yes, I would probably have had a word with out local PCSO about this, and the local PCSO would likely have 'had a word'. It's no use for 17-year olds to think that this kind of behaviour is ok - it's not doing the lad any good for his future.

As for the intrusive thoughts, OP - what Hecate said. You can control lots of negative thoughts through CBT, guided imagery etc. You can train yourself to say 'STOP' and move on to other thoughts. There are techniques that work really well.

[HecatePropylaea]

Someone with intrusive thoughts can become obsessive and the intrusive thoughts prolonged.

If you read my link upthread, they aren't always a fleeting thought.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

To those saying that they have never had these thoughts MN is full of them.
AIBU to punch someone for something?
Should I do ????? to my EX?

Some light hearted some not, some about food some about causing injury to someone, the OP is not alone in this.

[Ephiny]

It's not the duration of the thoughts that I find odd, it's someone seriously asking whether or not this is a reasonable thing to do. And trying to justify it e.g. 'certain he would have hurt me' when there's in fact no evidence to support that at all.

OP did not ask whether she was unreasonable to have the thoughts. She would probably have got different answers if she had. Her question is very clearly asking whether it would be unreasonable to actually do it, to knock someone off their bike because they'd annoyed her by not letting her overtake quickly enough. Look at the title.

[quirrelquarrel]

Yeah, but I don't think she was actually^ asking that. I think the OP knew she was totally unreasonable but got all mixed up and confused, which anyone would be. The fact that she says she's horrified and shocked at the thoughts means that it'd be a little unlikely for her to ask that in the way it sounds.

[cumfy]

It sounds like you knocked him off his bike on the narrow lane.

How could he be banging on the window if you had not started overtaking him (as you deny) ?

[gimmecakeandcandy]

I agree with bobbygusset on page 1 - more of the posters on here sound far more unhinged with their hysterical responses than the op!

[Jenny70]

I haven't read this all, but my first thought was "intrusive thought", you know it's wrong, it comes to mind involuntarily and by NOT acting on it, you are sane & moral.

He's a PIA teenager, but you don't have the right to take him out...

[SoupDragon]

The point is that the OP didn't do it.

Someone doesn't deliberately knock someone off their bike and you think they need anger management?

Calm down people.

[Startail]

YANBU
A small minority of teens. Remembers group who thought it was funny to throw stones at my back.

My crime getting my 5-6 ish DD to jump down off the wall 10ft or more from them.

So they didn't have to move.

[Startail]

A small minority of teens ruin things for the rest.

Sorry my, now teen, wanted something.

[Unacceptable]

cumfy I absolutely, definitely did not knock the kid off his bike!!

If you have the time or inclination to read the full facts of the first incident I shall right them all down for you. I didn't in OP as it was long winded enough as it was but I did briefly outline what had happened.


After trailing behind this lad for a couple of minutes, fully expecting him to be a little distracted by his phone and imagining that once he'd texted or whatever he would take hold of his bike and allow me to pass (which he didn't do) I wrongly perhaps tooted my horn.

He then started to veer to the left. At this point I was crawling in 1st gear behind him. Because he was moving left and had lost some speed I applied my brake. I did not attempt to pass him as it would not have been safe to do so. I waited till there was a large enough, clear gap.

The gap,however, was not to appear. He stopped in line with my left headlight, turned his upper body right round and hocked something nice and slimy onto my windscreen. He then used his feet to walk back a little, while still on his bike until he was at side of car next to passenger window. Then he used, I presume, his phone to bang...and I mean fast, furious, angry, solid, heavy whacks on my window. The force of him doing this caused his bike to fall away behind him and as he turned to grab his bike I floored it and drove away!!!

I did actually check my rear view thinking I'd perhaps hurt him in my escape but no there he was, in full control of his bike this time tear-assing after me.


So No comfy thanks for your concern for this poor innocent kid , but as you can see I did not knock him off his bike. I did consider doing it on Friday evening when I saw him again...but I didn't.

[janey68]

I would report him and chances are as he clearly makes a habit of riding around without lights/ visible clothing, riding in front of cars without looking and indulging in threatening behaviour, he's probably known to the local community police officers.

This boy is clearly a total knob. What I find more worrying is that in a few months time he could possibly be driving a car around. What a wanker. But op- you shouldn't be sitting at home thinking about knocking him down. Just report and move on.

[catkind]

Next time you spot him, could you stop the car and take a sneaky picture on your phone (with car window firmly locked obv)? Then you can report to the police, say you've seen him cycling dangerously on x, y and z occasions and about the incident when he threatened you?
I'm all for legal, safe comebacks

[Rudolphstolemycarrots]

You would do much better to report both incidents to the police and explain that this boy is an accident waiting to happen. At least if someone does run him over (very likely) then it will be on record, what his road safety skills are like.