WIU to knock this kid off his bike with my car?

[Unacceptable]

Ok first of all, I didn't. But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to and I'm horrified at how close I came to actually doing it.
I'm shocked at myself and think maybe I have issues and this was not a normal, reasonable or healthy thought.

Sorry but to give you the full facts this may be a bit long.

A few months ago I was driving home, running a little late for school pick up. I hate to park on the school road so I always park a few minutes walk away. To get to the car park you need to drive down a very long and narrow road, it only allows for one car to get through and so you often have to pull into a gap to let oncoming vehicles past.

As I turned the corner to go down this road there was a lad on a bike, riding no handed very, very slowly while texting. I should point out that while 2 cars cannot comfortably drive alongside past each other there is enough room to overtake a bicycle (it leads to a popular cycle route so this is very common). I hung back admittedly feeling a bit impatient and muttering to myself about lack of respect, upstart thinking he was king of the road but certain that he'd send his message or whatever before moving to let me overtake him.

He didn't so halfway down the road with an eye on the time I beeped my horn. He moved over.
Well I thought he was moving over to let me past.
He wasn't he was moving slightly over but not enough that I could safely pass him.
He stopped at the front of my car, spat on windscreen then came to side and used (I think) his phone to violently bang against my passenger window.
As he was banging his bike fell away from him and I sped off.
It terrified me. The look in his eyes was one of pure hatred and rage-I'm certain that if I hadn't been behind a glass window he'd have hurt me. I had my baby in the back seat on the passenger side and had visions of glass shattering over him. It really shook me up. I cried when a mum on the playground asked if I was ok.

I've seen this lad a few times since. He's old enough to have left school, I'd guess 17.

Last night when returning home I saw him on the pavement, on his bike. Again he was riding none handed and on his phone.

I was alongside and knew that we would arrive at the bottom of my road at the same time.

I knew he wouldn't check the traffic.

I knew that I could turn into the road and 'accidently' knock him off his bike.

He was wearing all black clothing, no lights on bike and it was very dark.

I even locked my car doors in anticipation of him jumping up from road to attack me.

As it was I hit my brakes as he glided past in front of my car without so much of a headturn to see the vehicle that was a second away from hitting him.

I'm disgusted to say I'm disappointed that I stopped. I've replayed the scenario over and over all night and kick myself for not hitting him! I have a son almost his age fgs! How can I have even considered this? Have come so close to doing it? Be annoyed at myself for having not done it?

Can any of you say you'd have behaved the same way?

[MrsHoarder]

Credit to you though, you've taken the flaming with remarkably good humour.

[WrathdePan]

good point mrsHoarder

Another reason why we do react is that MN has a bikist-bashing thread every 2-3 weeks, that often ends up in a situation where angry car drivers get to express their aggression and condone injuring cyclists because one or two have ticked them off. Cyclists threads can get quite combustible.

[prettybird]

From the Highway Code:

"112

The horn. Use only while your vehicle is moving and you need to warn other road users of your presence. Never sound your horn aggressively. You MUST NOT use your horn

while stationary on the road
when driving in a built-up area between the hours of 11.30 pm and 7.00 am"

So are we suggesting a cyclist is not a road user? If the OP did just "Beep" her horn (and not blare it) she was just "warning him over her presence". He was clearly unaware of all other road users.

I'm not sure if the OP was breaking the law when beeping at her family from the driveway - as she wasn't actually on the road . Now, if she's pulled out the driveway and was still waiting on them parked at the side of the road, then she definitely was!

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

So if she was 'warning him of her presence' does that mean it's okay for someone to beep me if I happen to be driving more slowly than the person behind me deems suitable? That's not the correct interpretation of the rule.

If someone's about to pull out of a junction and clearly haven't seen you, that's when they need a warning honk - not when you decide they're driving or cycling badly and you 'd just better tell them so.

[prettybird]

If he was cycling with no hands, not looking at the road, then he clearly needs to be made aware of other users - if only to encourage him to put both hands back on the handlebars and maintain full control of the bike.

[WrathdePan]

AIBU to slightly admire the dexterity and general chutzpah of this young chap?

[EugenesAxe]

Wow Hecate - thanks for that link! I get these occasionally and although I don't think I have OCD, it's possible that I have mild depressive periods. I also get quite bad PMT.

Unacceptable - only you can know really whether you need to have a chat with your GP about your mental state. I agree mainly with people stating this could be a biological impulse due to the fear you felt for your child. You have a baby - so maybe you do have a mild form of PND.

I just want to say, that if what I have thought has been these Intrusive Thoughts then I have had:

Desires to hurt my toddler very badly
Desires to stab myself to show how serious I was about saying 'no' (in a verging on sexual abuse situation at university)
Desires that people who are causing me stress have a stroke or heart attack

So it's possible I am a psychopath, I guess, but in the same person I'm terrified of my children being hurt and I love them deeply. So you are not alone, but of course we could both have real mental issues.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

WrathdePan

"AIBU to slightly admire the dexterity and general chutzpah of this young chap?"

That would depend on your response when he falls off and goes under the wheels of the car behind.

[WrathdePan]

Nooooo BBJ - when you have that dexterity and chutzpah one never falls off!

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Pan

If only that were true (not sure if a smiley is appropriate emote)

[quirrelquarrel]

OP, I'm really sorry you're in this horrible position- thoughts like this can take over your mind and it doesn't have to be a reflection of your personality or character- just the position you're in- are you particularly stressed or anxious about something else at the moment? It could be a manifestation of this.

FWIW- I sometimes do wish I could really hurt a couple of the people who made my life shit for a while. I'm still dealing with the effects now and sometimes I'm seized with a kind of violent desire to get back at them. It's almost a physical reaction- my body stiffens up and things go a bit wobbly. I don't think I'm unhinged, I'm just unhappy sometimes, and I don't really know how to deal with things properly. We just need to try hard to keep these irrational feelings under control while we sort out all the crap that's going on in the background.

[quirrelquarrel]

Bizarrely though- I also sometimes want to be nice to them- to the point of volunteering favours- and I have no idea why I get these stupid urges. Just some throwback to the days when I thought that just being nice to these people would turn things around. We don't control our minds, as much as we like to think we do for the most part.

[joanbyers]

I would tend to react badly to motorists who beep their horn at me on my bike. Depending on how its done. A light tap is one thing, but you get people who give a three-second blast, and it's very annoying when you are sitting on a bike. These things are after all designed to be heard inside another motor vehicle, so it's just way too loud for a cyclist.

[StillSquiffy]

How old is your baby? I had loads of odd thoughts and irrational rages when I had PND. They weren't as extreme as what you're posting, but my PND wasn't that extreme, either. That would be the first avenue I'd explore.

[SarahBumBarer]

Hi OP - you have my sympathies and I also think you've had a hard time on here. I suffered from intrusive thoughts since childhood. I have a recurring thoughts of some specific violent harm coming to me (it's quite a bizarre thing, highly unlikely to occur) but rarely thoughts involving others do arise also. Where such thoughts (ie involving others) tend to recurr in a slightly obsessive way (ie where I can sometimes dwell on them as opposed to them just being a fleeting intrusion which is gone as quickly as it arises) is in situations where that person has made me feel powerless/vulnerable, much as you did after having the cyclist bang on your window. Such thoughts are also far far worse/more likely to occur when I am in a state of stress or anxiety anyway during which I also display some minor OCD traits (ritualised cleaning etc).

I've never felt particularly concerned about these thoughts, I believed that most people experienced them and having several friends who work in mental health fields has only confirmed this for me so worry not too much about the weird unreal world that is the experiences of the oh so sane MN AIBU folks Think about (perhaps seek help) if there is some underlying anxiety/stress which is causing you to obsess on these thoughts more than usual at present.

[Unacceptable]

Sorry, my DS is the baby of the family but he is 2 so I don't think PND is at play here.
I am under a fair bit of stress currently I guess. Except I don't feel stressed out. Life is just a bit full on at times. My DM has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer but although I am, of course, worried about her I hadn't been thinking about her as such last night and wouldn't have connected the 2 things together.

[quirrelquarrel]

But that's exactly what we don't realise, how things are connected when they just seem far apart. It's all a big maelstrom up there. It's like when people are stressed and their hair falls out or they get mysterious rashes- would we normally link the two things if we didn't know that stress/hair loss went together? That's what I meant about it being more a manifestation, rather than something which was obvious.

Sorry about your mum, I hope everything goes as quickly and well as it can.

[BegoniaBampot]

Think you've had a hard time OP. I have these intrusive thoughts. I've thought about killing people who've hurt or pissed me off in the past, planned in my mind how I would do it. Not done it...yet. Also used to wonder what it would be like to run a razor across my wrists when sitting in the bath and wanted to put my foot down when driving and keeping it there. Would like to know if there are ways of dealing with this kind of negative thinking.

It's quite an interesting topic.

[quirrelquarrel]

From when I was quite small (just out of toddlerhood I'd say) I would be at once scared and fascinated by scissors- there'd be moods when I wouldn't go near them just in case I grabbed them and would do something I'd regret (wrists, hair etc). They were always highly charged moments and passed after a bit.

[Booboobedoo]

OP I think you've been brave posting as you have. I have had these intrusive thoughts since early childhood (thanks for the link Hecate), and came to terms with them in adulthood.

I just ignore them now, really, but probably would have felt exactly as you did on that situation.

Have you ever tried CBT? I found it very useful to rationalise my thought processes.

I now feel much less - ahem - unhinged. (Charming, helpful term).

[Dominodonkey]

I think still thinking about this months later and the fact that you have serious regrets that you didn't hurt him is not normal exactly.

However the thought that you could have run him over and the urge to do so (not acted upon) is totally normal IMO.

I don't believe that any of you suggesting the OP is evil for wanting to hurt someone could have been in a similar situation.
The 'boy' was riding in a dangerous, selfish and irresponsible manner.
The OP tooted him which is perfectly legal as it is clear he was completely oblivious to other road users.
The youth spat at her and attacked her car because she dared to suggest he should move over in a road where a car could easily pass a bike.

Don't kill him OP, you would get put away but frankly the death of a piece of scum like him would be no loss to anyone - I am only concerned that an innocent driver will hit him and be traumatised.

[quirrelquarrel]

what the fuck? death of a piece of scum like him would be no loss to anyone he's just a stupid teenager for goodness sake!
I sometimes, yes, ride on the road with no lights/headphones....I'm not rude in the way he was but I'm not safe (although I always slow down and go well to the side when there's a car, obviously). Am I a piece of scum who could die and it wouldn't matter to my parents, family, friends etc? jesus christ you're the one with problems.

[quirrelquarrel]

or just getting far too carried away on an anonymous internet forum. also possible.

[Dominodonkey]

quirrel And do you spit at people and smash their cars up too?

The careless riding thing is not the issue for me, I agree that that behaviour is just silly, selfish and immature but his disgusting, violent attack on a woman is the thing that makes me call him scum.

[quirrelquarrel]

No, I don't (it's not like he smashed her car up!).
I agree he is a nasty unpleasant piece of work, but he's a silly immature kid and to say that it doesn't matter if he dies, the only thing that matters is the OP not suffering for what she's done, is absurd and not very helpful. Can you imagine having a much-wanted baby and never mind all you've tried, he grows up like that- then you get the knock on your door that you've started to dread, that he's been knocked off his bike, and witnesses agreed that it was due in part to his own antisocial behaviour. It would be a huge loss and a tragedy.