To not want to potty train my toddler yet?

[scentednappyhag]

She was two yesterday. People have been telling me I should start potty training for the last six months.
AIBU to be getting tired of calmly explaining that I don't think she's ready right now, and WIBU to fling poo at the next person to give 'helpful' critique of my parenting failure on this subject?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

OP - YANBU. As you say,she isn't aware of what's she's doing yet.

I was potty trained young,at just over a year. But that is because I used to scream blue murder before I actually went. My parents took this to mean I was aware and didn't like it.

There does come an age when you may have to...actively encourage? I don't think it's fair for school teachers to be expected to change nappies on 4/5 year olds for example.

[AlienRefluxovermypoppy]

My DD is 18 months, I'm going to wait til the summer so she can have no bottoms on, and be in the garden most of the time :)

[AlienRefluxovermypoppy]

X-post witches tit :)

[PicaK]

Good god woman - yanbu.

Enjoy your xmas and wait for the weather to warm up. I'd pencil in March cos it's often hotter than you expect.

Buy a potty now so it's not a strange object and then forget about it.

I left it til just before my son's 3rd and he picked it up so easily, no traumas and progressed to taking himself off to the loo within months.

If you see those family toilet seats on sale in lidl grab one. Read a few potty training books.

But don't stress.

[Fakebook]

Yanbu. Dd started potty training on her third birthday. We had a very happy and easy time with it. Don't start until your dc is ready and understands.

[Mousefunk]

Yanbu. My mother is very guilty of this. PFB is 2.8 and every time mum comes around its 'Get on the potty' 'You shouldn't be in nappies now' etc. She even insisted on getting us a different potty because maybe our eco potty was too boring and he might take to a colourful singing and dancing one more

If your child isn't ready, they're not ready end of. If you push a child who isn't ready you will only cause long term issues, its not worth it. DS still not ready, he screams when sat on a potty- i'm not going to scare him because of some silly guidelines or whatever. Some kids don't until they are four and that's still 'normal'.

[TenMinutesLate]

I ignored everyone and trained my DS just before his 3rd b'day; I'm sure waiting has been a factor in him being dry at night after a couple of weeks. With my DD i tried when she was 2 but wish i hadnt bothered, i tried again 7 months later and she got it. Every child is different but my mum & mil forever harped on about my DH and I being trained before we were 18 months...(14 months in my DH case!)

My Ds is very tall for his age so I used to get funny looks when I went to change his nappy but ignore it all. You'll know when she is ready (and it isn't as bad as what you think it'll be...promise!)

[MrsAceRimmer]

Just wait. We were going to train DS just after his 3rd birthday and after his sister was born. Nope, he announced one day (while I was in the middle of morni g sickness) 'I don't want nappies'. He's had maybe 3 or 4 accidents since then (he was 2.6, now 4.9) he's not dry at night yet.
With DD, we will probably let her choose. She is only 20m at the moment, but likes to sit on the toilet, but doesn't do anything. She still doesn't mind if she's wet or pooey.

[WitchesTit]

AlienReflux great minds eh?!

[shellshock7]

pixie my DM and maternal DGM swear we were dry (thinkin on I have never asked abt at night tho) but I'm just gonna try it and see, it may be the week from hell or it may work, no pressure on DS either way.

justforlaughs that's a good point as I am currently TTC %232 and hadn't considered the potential double nappy situation I hope this works then!

[Pandemoniaa]

There really are huge myths about potty training and of course, every child is different. I'm always amazed at how they are, allegedly, supposed to be trained at an exact age when nobody expects children to walk, speak or reach any other developmental milestones at precisely the same moment.

When ds1 was nearly a year old, my MIL and her vile and silly sister assured me that he'd be going to school in nappies if I didn't get on with PT him. Apparently, all their children were reliably out of nappies long before they could walk. But then they were from the generation who fooled themselves that holding a baby over a potty and catching the inevitable, if occasional wee, constituted any sort of training.

ds1 had a summer birthday. At just after 2 he showed signs of being ready to be trained so I had a go. Most of the accidents occurred, helpfully, in the garden because the weather was warm and being a rather precise sort of child, he was quite quick to catch on so yes, by 2.3 he was trained. This fluke was not repeated when I attempted it on ds2 who was much nearer 2.8 and even then not averse to accidents because he was much less bothered.

dgd is nearly 2. She's bright and very verbal. But she's not ready to be potty trained now and I very much doubt she will be in 6 weeks time. So don't go by age, go by instinct and knowing your own child.

[Wallison]

TTC %232

Bloody hell. Are you Idi Amin?

(Sorry.)

[goodygumdrops]

My 18mth old is poo trained and has been for at least one month now. But not wee trained. I have no idea how to wee train her so plan to wait until she asks but i am so glad i dont have to change pooey nappies anymore.

[EdgarAllanPond]

"vBut then they were from the generation who fooled themselves that holding a baby over a potty and catching the inevitable, if occasional wee, constituted any sort of training. "

it may not be how i trained, or how most people in the UK train now, but it is how the huge majority of humanity for the vast majority of human history have been trained. it works. those peoples that don't even have cloth nappies and do this from birth get a reliably dry child about 3 months. i don't see any need to poo poo this (ha ha) just because it is something i have no intention of doing myself.

[buttercrumble]

My dd was just three when i potty trained her, and she got it in just 24 hours. We also never had one wet night with her. Im convinced that this is because she was ready. I dont see what the major rush is, my only timescale was that i needed her dry for nursery school.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Edgar the thing your talking about is elimination training and is not the same as taking a say 11 month old and taking a nappy away then catching the accidents.

The first is a cultural or environmental/ parenting thing the second is the result of forcing potty training to early.

[midseasonsale]

all kids are different. my friends boy trained at 2 on the dot. Both my DS trained at 3.5 but were still having odd accidents til 4.

[midseasonsale]

I don't have the time to wait around and constantly catch a poo or wee. I just waited till they were fully up for it and self motivated. They cracked it within 2 days that way.

[Pandemoniaa]

Edgar the thing your talking about is elimination training and is not the same as taking a say 11 month old and taking a nappy away then catching the accidents.

Thanks, Sockreturning. This is precisely why I do not believe that my MIL and her sister had, in fact, successfully potty trained their children in the sense that either they, or I, would interpret that achievement.

[apostropheuse]

My three daughters were trained just after their second birthday. They were dry day and night within two weeks. My son was two years and three months, dry day and night within a week. That was the norm back then - they're in their twenties.

I know that my generation - I'm fifty - were trained much younger than that, even as young as a year, but to be honest I think it was more of a hit and miss than anything else.

I've been surprised to read this thread, because I don't actually know anyone in RL who leaves their children later than two - two and a half before training them.

I guess times are changing!

[SirBoobAlot]

DS has just turned three. He's not ready yet - so we haven't done it yet. He is, however, dry at night, and I am thinking of taking him out of nappies at bed time, as his nappy is stone dry every single morning, and has been for a while.

He's started telling me some times when he needs his nappy changing, and has told me a handful of times before he has done a wee or a poo, but nothing constant. So not doing it yet.

Every child is different.

[samithesausage]

My ds1 screamed at being on the potty. I rememeber being made to hold him on a potty screaming by my nan because he wasn't potty training. There was me saying this isn't right, he's upset. Him sobbing his heart out quite hysterical. My nan saying "he's got to learn, mine were trained at 6 months"
Eventually, it was nursery peer pressure that did it. All his mates were weeing on the loo, so he did it too! Now he has the bladder of an elephant!
Every kid's different. You know your kid better than everyone else. Don't let anyone force them into potty training.

[EdgarAllanPond]

"
The first is a cultural or environmental/ parenting thing the second is the result of forcing potty training to early. "

you aren't being non-judgemental. by using language like 'forcing' you are counter-judging a method that works for other people. and how you can say it is 'too early' ??? don't see evidence for that.

it will work. probably in a few weeks the baby will hold pending an opportunity to wee in the place they have grown accustomed to weeing. that's how humans work - creatures of habit.

the point of this thread is that the op feels judged. she needn't - it's her business when she trains her child. if someone wants to take the nappy off a 1yo and train them that way, all power to them. as previously said, it doesn't inconvenience anyone else.

[ginnieromain]

your child needs to go at their own pace. You can show the potty and encourage but it needs to be a positive thing. Your child needs to recognise the sensation of needing to go to the loo. they all develop differently. My friend pushed and pushed her little girl to potty train at a year and a half. then she spent the next two years telling us all how brilliant her daughter was as she trained at that age and asked us if we were concerend about our kids not being. My son didn't potty train until he was three when he showed interest in the potty and he sorted himself out within a month. Her daughter now at six goes to the toilet in her pants all the time when we are out. I read that they can regress at 6 if you force them too soon.