To not want to potty train my toddler yet?

[scentednappyhag]

She was two yesterday. People have been telling me I should start potty training for the last six months.
AIBU to be getting tired of calmly explaining that I don't think she's ready right now, and WIBU to fling poo at the next person to give 'helpful' critique of my parenting failure on this subject?

[scentednappyhag]

I love MN thanks everyone, I'll hold off flinging poo for another month at least

[IneedAsockamnesty]

The thing about potty training and many other bragging milestones is its very rare for people in RnL to be honest about them.

Lots of people will say there child was trained when they started not when they were compleatly dry.

Or say for example your child is 1 day short of being one and they decide to go for a 5 step jog before falling on there face that automaticity tends to become running at 11 months.

If you chose to listen to my mother all her children were potty trained by 1 reading lord of the rings by 4 walking unaided outside by 8 months and adult verbal by 13 months well you know what I say to that....

Bollocks mother I was still wetting myself at 7 I remember I couldn't even spell or write my own name at the same age I had absolutely nothing to say to anybody until I was about 3 and I didn't actually read The Lord of the rings until I was 9.

But chances are you will be bombarded by people who claim to have potty trained 100 kids all at 12 months old with no problems at all and your lazy and your child will still be in nappies at 11 or some other such rubbish.

[OHforDUCKScake]

My son didnt PT until he was 3.5, not that unusual I hear.

I had an absolute cunt of a neighbour who lived below me. She was the most hideous whore of the highest order and at one point her lovely poor children were put in care. Anyway, before this happened she kept going on about PT to me, clearly seeing DS was still in nappies, she had a frind round with a 16 month old and both of them were saying she was PT already. I was like WTF I can see she is wearing a nappy. I said 'She's not wearing a nappy now then?'

'Nope'

She was wearing tights, I could see the nappy.
What a weird thing to lie about. But then she was friends with a violent, horrific, selfish monster of a woman. not bitter

[Belini]

Ds1 & 2 were trained aged 2.5 while living away from family no problems no stress. With ds3 however i caved to pressure from dm (living closer) and started training at 18m he is still not reliably dry at night aged 5.5. I am convinced it is because i started too early.
Do what you feel is right for you & your child. Sod everyone else. With Dts i Will do it our way

[LadyMacbethIsBored]

I get this from my DM every time I speak to her. My DD is 19 months. Apparently I was potty trained by that age so she must be ready. It's driving me nuts.

[sweetkitty]

It's all a bit crazy this isn't it and remember you must post a star chart of wees in the potty or comment on how many she's done in a day on Facebook, with what a clever girl.

My own experiences DD1 started at 2, she was a nightmare, took her about 9 months to get it, she was nowhere near ready, have since realised she has a weak bladder.

DD2 left until 2.8y as DD3 was a baby, honestly she got it in about 2 days.

DD3 was 2.7y again DS was a baby, she was about 3 days.

DS is 2.6y and I'm thinking of having a go next week, no more babies this time.

I remember a friend saying her twins were PT at just before 2, no they weren't they were peeing all over the floor for ages. To me PT is no accidents for a week, to other people it's taking their nappy off!

[IvorHughJanusAndABulgingSack]

A friend of mine - who doesn't have children - made a remark last week about how 'late' DS is to be potty trained. He's not quite 20 months I got a bit flappy about it and had decided to go on t'net after she'd gone and check that this wasn't as weird as she was making it sound... But then just before she went, she asked me how DS' reading is coming along So, I realised she actually just doesn't know anything about 20 month olds. Which was reassuring!

I don't think 2 is late at all. DS has started to tell me when he's had a poo but he's never indicated when he needs or wants one.

[Squitten]

DS1 was 2.10 when he was potty trained. We were getting similarly hassled and so attempted to get him to do it when he was 2.5. It was a DISASTER. He got so wound up about it, he became scared to wee even in a nappy and would run around, desperate to wee and holding onto it :(

We put the potty away and left it. Eventually, he was left nappyless in the garden one hot day when he got nappy rash. I dumped the potty on the lawn and said he could wee in it if he wanted. Did his first wee completely unprompted and we were away! Within 2 weeks we were completely toilet trained, dry at night and all the nappies and training pants were in the bin. He never ever had an accident.

DS2 is 23mths and I won't even be contemplating potty training until next summer, and only if HE wants to try it.

[Wallison]

I don't think 2 is late either, and even if it was it doesn't matter because you need to do what's right for you and your child - it's only 'late' if he doesn't want to be in nappies any more and you are stopping him, which is not the case here.

Yy to tales of early potty training - I know quite a few people who boasted about potty training early when actually what they meant was that they spent a large part of their day cleaning up piss and shit for months on end. Sod that. Their kids were definitely not 'trained'.

[perceptionreality]

YANBU - ignore everyone who pressures you.

Some children are ready at 2, but lots aren't! Mine were all over 3. I tried to train dd3 at 2 and a half and 3.0 but she wasn't ready. I just left it alone and she decided at 3.3 to do it herself. There was no training as such. She now goes on the toilet.

[Longtalljosie]

Two yesterday? I would only try it that early if the child was making definite signs of being ready. Otherwise wait until two and a half at the earliest. Life is really too short to try it that early - you'll be at it for ages and it's very low on life's fun-o-meter...

[Justforlaughs]

The only reason that I can see for potty training that early is if you are using if you are using reusables and the weather isn't comducive to drying them over the Winter . Seriously don't stress over it, I've known people who claim that their little darlings were dry at 14 months or whatever but what they really mean is that they ran around after them clutching a potty for 6 months. I don't see why anyone would bother, tbh. You will know when she's ready, trust me. And when she is there will be very little stress involved for either of you. Of course if you want to tear around like a lunatic with a potty anticipating whether she's about to wee on your carpet then feel free

[MummytoKatie]

My dd is 2.7 and she isn't trained yet. She has a potty and whenever she asks t go she uses it but then we put the nappy back on.

Apart from in the morning (when she can generally squeeze some out) it's about 50:50 whether she actually does a wee when on the potty.

She's never managed a poo.

And she really really wants to. Face screwed up in determination and everything.

I guess I could just not put the nappy on her and let her have accidents but I don't see the point. The one time I had forgotten a new nappy and sent her to her bedroom to get one and she wet herself she got really really upset. I see no point in making her miserable just so I won't be the last of the NCT group to pt.

[RugBugs]

DD is two today and I'm getting asked by both nannies.
Thankfully both are supportive - one was a hv, the other had a son in nappies til 13.
I've noticed DD can hold a wee in now, she doesn't wet herself with excitement every time I run her a bath now thank god and she says when she's done a poo. A few times she's asked for her nappy off but I'm not intending to potty train until next summer.

[ChunkyPickle]

I'm waiting until I can explain what I want from mine.

He knows when he wants to poo (goes of and hides in a particular place), he can hold his pee (if I leave him nappy free he's fine for a couple of hours, then pees as soon as I put the nappy on - if he's co-operative and out in the garden he'll even pee upon command!) BUT he's a stubborn little toad (2.3) who flat refuses to sit on the potty or toilet, and I just can't get the concept of bribery across yet..

The frustrating thing is we did EC when he was a baby, and did really well, but then we moved house and the gap in time sorting our routine back out again ruined it..

Wait until they're ready - no point forcing the issue.

[lynniep]

I've never potty trained tbh. Both my boys took the lead. DS1 was 3.5 (for wee). DS2 was 2.5 (for wee).
DS2 (just turned 3) has the occasional accident when he's tired, but he pretty much sorted himself out as far as potty training goes. He had about a three weeks with quite a lot of pant changes required during the day and then managed to control it completely. (He was also suspiciously much better at not weeing himself at the childminders than at home) He's had maybe one poo accident ever.

[HaveToWearHeels]

You are her Mum and you decide, just introduce the idea to her and see how she feels about it. I waited until DD was 2.6 she took three days and after 3 days went straight to the toilet. We tried at 2.4 and she wasn't readY, wet herself about 6 times in one day and got upset, so we stopped, 2 months later she was ready.
Then at 2.9, DH forgot to put a nappy on her at bedtime, the next morning she was shouting for me to come and look, she had got up in the night and wee'd on the potty. From then on no more nappies, she has wet the bed once, when she was knackered after Legoland.

[sweetkitty]

The later you leave it the easier it is IME, verbal communication is a lot different in a 2.6yo than in a just turned 2yo, you can tell them exactly what you want them to do and they'll understand a lot better.

A friends DS is a week younger than mine, she was PT at before 2, she was saying how well he was doing etc she came to visit and he had 4 accidents despite her asking him every 10 minutes did he need the toilet. It was so stressful to watch, he's a PFB so I suppose it's a lot different if you don't have other DC around. Her whole day was tied up to his toileting.

Also a tip I've gleaned is once you start, go completely cold turkey in that you don't put a nappy back on even for long journeys/naps/ going out. I did it with DD1 and I think it hampered her even more, it's confusing to say you can pee in your nappy sometimes. Take nappies completely out of it, another benefit of waiting is once they drop daytimes naps as well you don't need to deal with those too.

[shellshock7]

I'm prepared to be flamed but....

I have one DS who is 8m so not yet potty trained But my parents/grandparents and they're peers say they PT their babies at 12-18 months, presumably due to the work involved in reusables. So if babies could be back then, then I'm thinking they could be now too?

I put my DS on the potty at least once a day, he doesn't always do anything but its getting him used to sitting on it. Once he is walking and also talking a bit more I thought I would give it a go, stay in for a week and see how it goes? I figure it can't hurt (if it upsets him or he just doesn't get it at all i can just go back to nappies) and if it works if will save me a lot of money

[EdgarAllanPond]

what little qualitative research there is does not suggest that later is easier.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Shell, ask them what age there dc's were compleatly dry from. The answer will probably not be 12-18 months

[ShallIJustShutUpThen]

I think the disposables/washables thing is a red herring, I had two in washables and my eldest still wasn't potty trained until just after 3yrs. It wasn't to do with what type of nappies we used it was about when the time was right for us. The time is right for different children and different families at different times.
I got grief from all sorts of people about the late potty training but really, it was me having to do the work of washing all the nappies, so it really was none of their concern. We had perfectly good reasons for the potty training being quite late, but really I feel no need to explain them to every dick and harry that comments.
OP if you think the time is right for you and your DD then give it a go, if for whatever reason you think its not the time yet then tell people that. Don't be bullied into it by others.

[WitchesTit]

It's too cold to be running around in no or wet pants!!!!

That's my excuse, were leaving it til summer when accidents can happen, rugs can dry and ds can run around happily with his bum out

[Justforlaughs]

Shell feel free to potty train at whatever age you want to, I know that apparently I was toilet no potty for me trained at 13 months!! I had to go into hospital and stay in, the doctors were amazed, frankly so am I not to say disbelieving, I think that it is possible but frankly imo far too streesful for me to contemplate bothering with. I do think it has a lot to do with disposables/ washables, also in past years people often had babies fairly close together and paying for more than one set of nappies would have been prohibitive, and housework generally was more arduous. I certainly wouldn't want to have been hand washing shitty nappies for longer than I absolutely had to

[Anniegetyourgun]

I still sizzle a bit with annoyance (26 years later!) when reminded of the aunt who asked me whether DS1 was dry yet - I said well no, he's only 11 months old - ah, but her little girl was fully potty trained by then! Bully for her

I could say an awful lot about the comparative merits, and eventual fates, of DS1 vs DN, but I won't because it would be bitchy. Suffice it to say she is welcome to her minor triumphs.