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AIBU?

Is this rude?

118 replies

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 04/10/2012 08:28

Just for the record, I know its a small problem etc etc but I was just wondering if anyone would think this was an okay thing to do.

NDNs are generally lovely, friendly etc. However recently DP got rid of his car and, while he looks for another one, he is taking mine to work.

We have a double driveway and every morning, as soon as DP leaves for work, NDN puts his wife's car onto our drive. Right up against the garage doors. Every morning.

Now, I can see that this makes things easier for them as they park one behind the other on their single drive so it prevents them having to juggle cars. However, they never ask which I find... Well... A bit rude to be honest.

AIBU to think they could ask to make sure I don't need to be in my garage or that I'm not expecting visitors?

OP posts:

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ENormaSnob · 04/10/2012 09:32

It is really fucking rude.

badtasteflump · 04/10/2012 09:35

I'm on your behalf.

But like you, I'm a bit rubbish at confrontation. Maybe you could be outside 'doing something' in the spot where they come and park (sweeping the drive, pruning a hedge, etc) when DH leaves, and carry on doing so if they try to park there - surely they won't expect you to move out of the way? Or if they don't try when you're there, leave some stuff in the space, hedge cuttings, bags of rubbish, etc.

Or you could do what I'd do - stew on it for days and days until you finally flip, storm round and tell them to keep off your f*cking property!

Can't believe how rude they're being! How long have they been doing it?

akaemmafrost · 04/10/2012 09:36

Yes it would annoy me too but I also would be inclined to wait till the new car arrives as that will take care of the problem rather than risk a row with people you have to live so close too.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 04/10/2012 09:38

I can't really block them in or use a bollard because of the layout if the drives. Our two driveways form a rough L shape with the "corner" of the L being an access area to both driveways.

They definitely haven't asked DP. I'm going to wimpishly wait until later on today when I need to move some of DS's stuff into the garage when I'm going to have to go and ask her to move it...

OP posts:

sugarice · 04/10/2012 09:39

Start positioning your wheelie bins and recycling boxes in a way that makes it difficult for them to get their car on. See what they do then.

mistlethrush · 04/10/2012 09:39

I suppose you might also be able to do something very messy with any dcs.. making sure that any mess was contained to your own property of course (oh, and anything that is parked therein) but make sure its something that would wash off OK - albeit being a pain to have to get it off.

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2012 09:41

Yes that's a good idea. Today is the day for a massive garage sort out. Get round there now and tell them to shift it. I couldn't wait-I would have to go and say something.

Ephiny · 04/10/2012 09:42

Yes of course it's rude. They're probably depending on you being too polite/nice to say anything - don't let them get away with it!

BobblyOrangeGoldGussets · 04/10/2012 09:42

They want to be the dominant dogs. They are marking your territory as yours. They are cocking their leg and weeing on your turf. You need to raise your hackles OP, bare your teeth. Ggrrrr. Stop rolling over to show them your belly.

I have no idea what to do in human terms. Maybe a big shite in the middle of their lawn?

Pourquoimoi · 04/10/2012 09:45

YANBU - it is very rude. We have a shared double driveway too, and we park one in front of the other. Our neighbour is elderly and rarely uses his drive so we do use it to reverse round our other car if we have to, but we have NEVER parked on it!

We also would never ask him to move so that we could manouvere. I feel really bad if I stop on it for half a minute to move our other car.

How long is it until you're getting the new car? And how long have they been doing this now?

Could you not just say "I'm finding it inconvenient that you keep parking on my drive, can I ask why you're doing it?" then when they say a spurious invalid reason follow it sweetly by saying "well I wouldn't mind occasionally but can you please check that it's not inconvenient first? Thanks".

It would really annoy me to be honest, good luck!

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2012 09:46

I think they are just thick and think the whole L shape is a free for all perhaps? Yes, stick your wheelie bins out there.

elah11 · 04/10/2012 09:49

How could anyone think this was ok! I mean if you had guests over and ran out of space would you just go over and sit in their front room? Of course its not ok and they are relying on you being too meek to say so. Just go over and tell them not to do it anymore and who cares if they are pissed, let them be x

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 04/10/2012 09:49

Come to think of it, they've never actually stopped being iffy about parking. They will happily park one of their cars, or tell their guests to park, across the dropped curb at te bottom of our driveway. It makes getting off our drive like something out of the krypton factor. But the neighbours on the other side are just as guilty of that particular trick.

I may be being paranoid but I have a sneaking suspicion they both feel more inclined to behave like prats because they both own their homes whereas we rent.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2012 09:53

I was giving them the benefit of the doubt. But about the renting thing-do you actually 'own' both spaces then? Is it possible the cheeky NDNs have the permission of your landlord or something bizarrre?

badtasteflump · 04/10/2012 09:56

Renting or owning has bugger all to do with it! Cheeky mares!

Definitely start the garage clear out now - tell them they need to move - then make the 'clear out' last until you get the new car

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 04/10/2012 09:57

No, we definitely own both spaces, we checked with both the landlord and the letting agent when the neighbours first demonstrated displeasure at us parking there.

OP posts:

badtasteflump · 04/10/2012 09:58

Or maybe, next time there's no-one in their back garden, jump over the fence, light a bbq, put some music on and have a little party in it. Then when they come out and ask what's going on, smile sweetly and innocently say 'oh - well, you weren't using it'....

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2012 09:59

That's ok then-just wondered.

sugarice · 04/10/2012 10:01

How did they demonstrate their displeasure? Did they actually say something or just give out hard stares with hostility when you came face to face.

footphobic · 04/10/2012 10:03

While I would always prefer to keep good neighbourly relations where possible my own neighbours are vile but their house is up for sale, hoo-fecking-ray, this is your driveway, on your property and though they have their own parking, they are taking it upon themselves to park on it blocking access to your garage without asking?!

Honestly, it's not 'a bit rude', it's incredibly rude and piss-taking. I'm slightly bemused by those who say leave it until your DP gets his new car which should resolve the problem. You can't allow someone to just do what they like because you are uncomfortable dealing with it, they should respect that it is your property.

It doesn't have to be a 'confrontation', you can be pleasant but you have to be direct. Invent some reason to go and ask them move it today, and while you are there just politely but firmly ask them please not to park there again, and don't say sorry!

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 04/10/2012 10:04

The latter. They wouldn't talk to or acknowledge us in any way. And the only reason I could think of for their behavior was the parking. We have detached houses so its not a noise issue (we're very quiet anyway), our dog doesn't bark, DS is only 9mo so he hasn't caused any problems...

OP posts:

kakapo · 04/10/2012 10:06

I'd get round there and politely ask them to move it and not park there in future. No explanations, no rudeness.

Letting them park there in an attempt to keep good relations is misguided. Either they legitimately don't know it's your space (in which case they won't mind that you coming over to politely point it out), or they are deliberately taking the piss (in which case they need to know that you won't roll over and take it, or it'll only get worse).

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Noqontrol · 04/10/2012 10:11

Just tell them to ask before parking in your space. Or get your husband to start parking in his space when he gets home. I'm sure neighbour would be around quick enough to ask why he had done that. Rude and bizarre behaviour. Don't let him get away with it.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers · 04/10/2012 10:16

People really are strange

dysfunctionalme · 04/10/2012 10:21

People are so weird. What is it they get out of this little routine, I wonder? Sounds like they have a lot of time on their hands.

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