To think that specifying a childs present that costs £14 is too much?

[KatyS36]

HI all,

I am part of a small group of school friends that still exchange birthday and Chrismas gifts. When we started having children we included them too (total now 8). So far so good.

One of the girls now has 4 DC. I dropped her a text asking what one of her children would like for his birthday, looking for general ideas. We all live significant distances apart now so don't see each other than often, especially now we have children. I generally quite like asking for ideas as I like buying a present a child will like.

She has specified an exact item, brand and design, which costs £14. My typical spend for a childs present, excluding immediate family, is £10. I really resent being asked to spend this much, particularly as she has 4 children who I buy gifts for. I know they are reasonably tight for money, so its not like this to her is a cheap gift. My DD tends to get quite cheap presents from her, so its not like she is an 'always buy an expensive gift' person.

We are comfortably off, although since having DD and working part time there is never any money left in my account at the end of the month. If this continues for each child, and she has a tendeny to do this, its a yearly spend of £56 just on her DCs birthday presents - let alone her birthday or Christmas presents!

So AIBU to resent being asked to spend this much? What started as a gift for one friend has now spiralled not only into gifts for 5 but reasonaly expensive gifts for 5.

Thanks

Katy

[KatyS36]

Thansk everyone for you time and replies. lantern festival summed it up particularly well in expecting a general steer, not an absolute. this is what I would do, and what other firends do.

And if I'm honest, there is a bit of Oh the confusions comment as well, in the whilst this girl isn't quite that bad, there is an element of the cheap tat to her presents for DD.

Its the combination her having four children, buying my DD tat, but asking for specific branded goods for her DCs which is too much.

I don't want to break up this arrangement, because with the other two girls it works fantastically.

So, I've bought a voucher for the shop and he can either use some of his birthday money or get something cheaper.

Next year there will be a joint voucher (ie cinema) to do something for all birthdays combined for this family. I've learnt my lesson :)

Thanks again all

Katy

[OhTheConfusion]

Glad you have found a solution :-)

I send a cinema voucher, bag of popcorn and bag of sweets to my friends teenagers every year... they appear to love it.