To want dd to have an operation for 'vanity' reasons.

[MsBrown]

My daughter has cryptic tonsils. This means she suffers terrible from tonsil stones or tonsilloths. They can range from the size of a bit of sweetcorn, to a big wad of chewed gum. And they stink. Really stink. They're basically calcified bacteria, saliva and mucus. (Sorry if you're having your tea!)

Whenever she has a huge one in her tonsil (which is at least once a month), she goes off food for a few days due to the rotten taste in her mouth. And she also says it's uncomfortable as she can feel it. This carries on until it eventually falls out. I've tried on one occassion to nudge it out with a cotton bud. It worked, but dd didn't like it, so i'll not be doing it again.

The smaller stones are almost a daily occurence.

The doctor has been frank. The only way to get rid of the tonsil stones is to get rid of the tonsils. He's assured me that the crypts in her tonsils will reduce by the time she's an adult, but they'll always be unaturally large thus she'll always have tonsil stones.

He said he'd refer me to an ENT specialist, but dd is unlikely to be a canditate
for the operation just because she has 'bad breath'. She's never had tonsilitis and only gets a throat infection once a year. The GP said i should consider if
i want to subject my child to the risks of an operation just for 'vanity reasons.'

DD is 5 so i think now is a good age, if ever she was going to get her tonsils out. I'm also worried that as she gets older, children will begin to pick on her for having bad breath. And i'm not exaggerating the smell. When she has a giant tonsil stone, even the doctor agreed it makes her have halitosis.

However, when i voiced my fears, he said that all children get bullied for a variety of reasons at school. If it's not bad breath, it's colour of hair, skin, clothes etc.

He seemed really reluctant to give me the referral tbh. And i've come home feeling like a terrible mum. Am i being unreasonable to want her to have this operation?

[NationalLottie]

I would do it as well. I have experience of these and very unpleasant, your daughter will thank you for it one day. Could you see another GP at all?

[Queenpoopsalot]

I'd do it too, I'm 33 and have had these since my late teens. They have only got worse over the years and can knock my confidence. I'd get mine sorted in an instant if I could afford a private operation (unlikely to get it on the NHS)

[Pooka]

IME your gp is correct in that the criteria for tonsillectomies seem more strict than they once were.

Dd had her tonsils out at 7.

She didn't have recurrent tonsillitis. However her tonsils were very large. Met at middle. She had stinky breath because she was ver nasal and mouth breathing. She had occasional sleep apnoea.

Got a referral to private consultant (had work BUPA - they initially said that because was not related to infection, would not be covered, but because gp letter mentioned apnoea it was).

Saw the consultant who felt that they should come out. So big that if she did get tonsillitis, her airway might have blocked. Op done, dd much better, sleeps well, doesn't snore and nose breathes now.

At the follow up I asked what the course of action would be if we had gone via nhs (am very pro nhs but awa of funding limitations). He said that the pct would have required a sleep survey over several months and that she would have been unlikely to have met the pct criteria.

As it was, we went from initial consultation to op within 2 weeks.

We are very glad we had it done. Immediately after op the consultant came and said was the right tng to do - her airway had blocked when she was being induced/anaesthetised. So clearly there was an issue with them blocking her airway.

Tonsillitis are grim. I never had tonsillitis as a child, got first bout about 5 years ago and it scarred and pitted my tonsils so am prone to them now. Also have been getting tonsillitis once or twice a year, the last bout lasted 6 weeks. But as an adult the criteria are way more stringent I think and the op is much more tricky because of the size and extent of the tonsils.

[MrsTrellisOfSouthWales]

I'm in my late thirties and still get these. Get them out!

[valiumredhead]

The thing is the tonsils stop infection and other nasties spreading to the rest of your body, so really they are doing their job properly in the OP's dd's case.

See the ENT specialist and see what they say. It's not just a case of whipping out your tonsils it can be quite a nasty operation, my niece was very poorly and ended up with a secondary infection and back in hospital. Obviously the younger it's done the better though.

I used to get it badly but with full blown tonsilittus as well - my mum begged to have it done and was turned down.

I kept it under control with constant salt water gargling and mouth wash and very thorough oral hygiene.

Even though my tonsils are crater now I don't get any of the stones - do dd might not always have this problem.

My ds has had one or two which we have cleared with warm water and salt gargling.

Don't pin your hopes on getting it done on the NHS, my dh went to see about getting his veins done as they are bleeding and was told the NHS no longer does this op.

[valiumredhead]

so

[lovintheolives]

i wouldn't think twice about it! it's not vanity as far as i can see.

[valiumredhead]

Iirc you can insist on a referral.

[SlightlySuperiorPeasant]

YANBU, I'd be pushing for this to happen before she gets much older and it turns into a major op.

[VivaLeBeaver]

Its not just for vanity reasons though is it. Bad breath can affect her work life when she's older, relationships. Who's going to want to snog a girl with an odd taste in her mouth?

I'd get it done, plus I think its meant to be safer operation as a child rather than as an adult.

[TheSmallClanger]

My brother has this. He used to get horrendous tonsillitis too, although this has calmed down since he has hit his 30s.

Now the infections have stopped, his GP won't consider removing the tonsils, although when they were still happening, DB wanted them out because he was disciplined at work for having too much time off sick.

DB occasionally performs minor surgery on himself, if the stones get very big. His MIL (nurse) has told him that he'll only get the operation if he really, really exaggerates his symptoms, as it isn't now considered routine surgery.

[EmmaNemms]

I'd have it done.

[Keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal]

I'd do it - I certainly wouldn't call it vanity reasons though if she's not eating when she gets them. Poor thing, sounds awful!

[charlottehere]

YANBU. I disagree thats its for vanity. Bad breath could really affect DDs life, the specialist may ahve a different view to GP. If not any possibility of going private. DD had hers out nearly 8 years it was 2,500.

[MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler]

I was told I wanted my sons eyelid operated on for 'vanity reasons' too. Er, no, to save the sight in that eye!

I saw this on Embarrassing Bodies and it looked horrible. Try to push for it to be done, not for vanity, but for her health and even mental wellbeing!

[rogersmellyonthetelly]

I'd have it done like a shot. It's not vanity when your kid is getting the piss taken out of them because they look/sound/smell different!
I had a large cyst under my eye at about the same age, I got picked on a lot by other kids in my class, my life was hell for almost a year whilst the doctors fannied around trying to decide if it warranted an operation. Finally they took it off, and by the time the stitches were out the bullying had stopped.

[highlandcoo]

For different reasons, I pushed and pushed for my son to have his tonsils out at the same age. Even 20 years ago the GP was very reluctant (whereas 40 years ago they'd whip them out as soon as look at you). But ES was constantly on antibiotics for a sore throat, lacking energy and they were so huge sometimes he could hardly swallow and had to eat pureed food.

Within a week of the op he was scoffing huge platefuls of food, running round the garden and was a different child.

Don't be fobbed off - or guilt-tripped- by the GP at this stage. Push hard for a referral to a specialist and see what they have to say.

[IWantAnotherBaby]

I don't see why everyone is blaming the GP in this situation. He said he'd refer you and made sure you were aware of the risks of surgery, and the likelihood that surgery will not be recommended by an ENT surgeon on the NHS. He gave you the facts, and you need to make a decision about whether you want to go and have the conversation again with a specialist. Where is the problem here?

[Squibsquib]

My ds used to get tonsilloths too although he's not had any for a while now. My gp also said he didn't think he should have them out "if he were my boy, it's not a risk I'd take, just for smelly breath". But it wasn't just smelly, it was absolutely rancid stinking awful breath. But as I said, he seems to have stopped getting them, touch wood (hope I've not spoken too soon) but I think his tonsils will still have to come out eventually as they're huge. Mouthwash helped a tiny bit, but ultimately, it wasn't until the tonsilloths stopped forming and the ones he had fell out, the bad breath stopped.

Incidentally, my ds also has a lazy eye. He's had an op already to try to correct it, (he wasn't born with it, so they thought they might be able to fix it) but it didn't work and they've now said all they can do is when it gets bad again, tighten the muscle for cosmetic reasons. I fail to see the logic in not wanting to remove tonsils, that are not essential, but not minding doing an op on his eyes, that if they were somehow damaged during an op, would be devastating?!

[WhereYouLeftIt]

It doesn't sound like vanity to me, more of an issue of quality of life.

[JamieandTheOlympicTorch]

"Vanity" - sorry - but he sounds like an idiot

[Chandon]

My DS is 7 and gets these, I look for them with a torch when his breath starts reeking of strong Camembert. Sometimes it is tonsilitis, he used to get tonsilitis 3 times a year, often leaving him with chunks of stinky gunk stuck in his tonsils.

However, it seems to be easing off a bit, be a bit less frequent, so I am not sure whether to push for an op, or see if it will sort itself out...

hard decisions, aren't they?

[Chandon]

squib, xpost! My son is 7, how old is yours?

[StuntGirl]

Oh my god, I'd never heard of this before. Definitely not vanity, push to get them removed. I'd have it done in a heartbeat