to not date a Tory?

[bejeezus]

Well...actually I dont care if IABU or not, I just couldnt do it.

What I really want to ask you; if you have Labour/left wing politics could you/would you/are you marry/ have a life partner who has Conservative/right wing politics?

And vice-versa of course?

[perceptionreality]

haha Hully - hilarious posts!

[anothermadamebutterfly]

peachy that is truly dreadful, but to be fair, people who say things like that are bigots rather than just tories.

Friend are friends, and abra, believe me, I do not usually hiss or shout. I prefer to have harmony in my home, and feel connected with my partner over things that matter to me, and I want my children to be brought up in a moral universe that makes sense and feels right to me. Doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, but at least on the basics.

[gamerwidow]

It depends how interested and passionate you both are about politics IMO.
I vote Labour, DH votes Lib Dem and my best friend votes Tory.
None of us are that passionate about our political views though certainly not enough to upset our relationships.

I couldn't ever be friends with or date/marry anyone with bigoted views i.e. racist, sexist or homophobic but party politics don't bother me that much.

[ReactionaryFish]

I personally couldn't stick anyone who took themselves and their opinions so seriously as to refuse to associate with someone on the basis of their political views.
so on that basis I suppose I'd have to say YANBU. We all have our boundaries. Some of us are just slightly more broad minded when we decide what they are.

[Peachy]

Turn it on it's head

Why would a Tory date ME?

Anyone who voted for tory voted for Universal Credit, a system that will likley strip me of my carer's Allowance and force me on to Workfare (which by the way means DH will have to stop working for that period to care for the boys, a bit of an own goal as it is unlikely his self employed business will survive that long out).


Presumably then they think that by being at home to care for our 4 SEN kids (2 on DLA and in SN Placements, one being assessed for ASD and needing a statement soon, one with lower level needs and on SA+) I am a lazy tax wasting scrote who needs to be forced back into work.

Who looks for that in a partner? Seriously?

Although I suppose if I had married a Tory I could justifiably leave him to manage with ATOS and forms and pick up the shite!

[looktoshinford]

Looks like you are limiting yourself to the Scots and Welsh gene pools then OP, because England is predominantly right wing.

Roll on Scottish independence so we can have Tories in power forever :)

[bejeezus]

no furry that is not what I meant

Im not talking about bank balances. Im talking about (like others have said) moral compass and fundamental values

My political beliefs are veryimportant to me. Sometimes, even often, it is interesting to debate them with people who have opposing views. But Idont want to share my home and life and children with someone with who I disagree with fundamentally on how the country/world/life shoule be run

[thefurryone]

Also I find the concept of only dating people who have exactly the same views as you pretty dull. DH and I have a fairly similar moral compass but we disagree on many political issues, it makes for interesting conversation.

Besides I really don't get fundamentalism some people have regarding political parties very odd, I agree with somethings the conservatives say, somethings that the liberal democrats say and somethings that labour say (despite never being able to forgive them for being quite so shit when it comes to matters of the economy, my one year old would have made a better job of chancellor than Gordon Brown).

It truly baffles me that some people will discount a perfectly good idea just because they don't like the political party that the idea sprang from.

[TheBigJessie]

Depends on what you mean really. The husband and I often vote differently, but there isn't a huge political gulf. But if there was a huge political gulf, it could reflect a similar gulf over moral issues in daily life.

For example, anyone who supports LGBT rights might have significant problems if their spouse thought "homosexual acts should be made illegal again".

[bejeezus]

fair enough reactionary like you said, we all have our boundaries
Politics are important to me

[Peachy]

'Looks like you are limiting yourself to the Scots and Welsh gene pools then OP, because England is predominantly right wing'

Not sure my Somerset family would be quite so convinced LMAO.

[Northernexile]

YANBU. He wouldn't want to share his chips.

[thefurryone]

That should be some of things.

[BobblyGussets]

In the spirit of bridging the gap, I would like to try and shag the tory out of Boris. i am a leftie, so it would feel really dirty like it should do.

[flatpackhamster]

HullyGully I've done a few years on the stump and met lots of people of all political persuasions. I've met Tories, Lib Dems, Greens, Labourites, Communists, Trotskyites, Libertarians, the lot. I've met voters and candidates of all kinds. Some of them were arrogant, ignorant, vicious or spiteful. The majority were decent people doing what they thought was the right thing and though I disagreed with them we all got on well although our views were very different.

The only voters and candidates I've ever met who ever treated me as though I was subhuman were Guardianistas, wealthy upper-middle-class lefties. They were the only ones who believed that they were right and anyone who disagreed with them was evil.

[bejeezus]

flatpack so I take it you dont have any criteria of what makes a good life partner? Or what makes 2 people compatible?

[bitofcheese]

dh & i have opposing political views which i find frustrating at times BUT we have a fantastic marriage and have done for nearly 15 years. we rarely feel the need to discuss politics and if i do, i discuss them with someone else, that is unless i am in the mood for an argument :)

[Hullygully]

Gracious.

What a lot of people you have met and yet they were all lovely except Guardian readers.

Do try harder.

[perceptionreality]

'I suspect what the OP is saying is that she wouldn't date a rich posh boy'

I doubt it. There are, in this world privileged people who also have a social conscience - who'd have thought that was possible(?) 'posh' people definitely do not always vote tory. Why would you make that assumption?

[bitofcheese]

flatpack agree totally, especially on here :)

[camdancer]

One election season years and years ago (before I was born), my Grandfather came home and announced he was going to put a Tory election poster in the front window. Fine said my Gran - and promptly put the Labour one next to it.

My Grandfather was very old fashioned and would have found the 21st century very hard. He was bought up Tory and that is what he would stay. I think they got on pretty well despite their different political views. They were similar religiously, maybe that was their saving grace.

[Hullygully]

To clarify:

Policies are policies. there are some lib dem policies I agree/d with (excpet they threw them overboard the moment Cameron parted his arse cheeks.

But if we are talking about self-identifying with all the baggage that entails, then no, never someone that said I Am a Tory.

[Jins]

I wouldn't be interested in anyone who had fixed political views and was unable to see the other side of an argument - of either side of the political spectrum.

[samandi]

So long as one isn't a fundamentalist I'd imagine it could work. Seems a bit of a black and white view to me.

[Hullygully]

One can see the other side Jins, one just despises it.