... to think it's rude to ask for cash as a birthday gift?

[shubiedoo]

Ds1 is invited to a classmate's party on Friday, and I asked the mum what he was into, seeing what sort of gift he'd like. I often buy gifts in sales and put them aside for parties in case I don't have much time to shop, books or small Lego sets etc. She actually said, "oh a gift card would be great", and named several shops!
Of course that is the easiest option, and I see where she's coming from. But now I have to actually spend a certain amount and I feel slightly annoyed. What do you think?

[mercibucket]

oh the dreaded 'bargain' present - I breathed a huge sigh of relief when we aLl gave up on presents at school parties and moved on to cash n card instead - or indeed just card - but please no more cheapo presents - 10 or more of them starts to fill a house! Bet mum of birthday boy feels the same
You asked, she told you, probably more polite to just say 'oh no present needed' but hey

[mercibucket]

oh the dreaded 'bargain' present - I breathed a huge sigh of relief when we aLl gave up on presents at school parties and moved on to cash n card instead - or indeed just card - but please no more cheapo presents - 10 or more of them starts to fill a house! Bet mum of birthday boy feels the same
You asked, she told you, probably more polite to just say 'oh no present needed' but hey

[Fixture]

YANBU. Gift cards are too similar to money - they are an amount that you spend. It's much nicer to allow the giver to keep the price of the present a secret.

[vess]

Don't get it - why do you ask if you already have a gift? It's not like she asked for something expensive - a gift card will save you money and trouble. And it will be appreciated, unlike a recycled present from the last party your dc has been to.

[WailyWailyWaily]

I think that YABU, I would suggest cash or gift card if anyone asked me for gift ideas for DS who is 11. BUT I would not expect them to give anymore than £5.

[shubiedoo]

Ha, yes!

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

Maybe she got a re gifted crap present last year.

[shubiedoo]

As it happens I don't have a big stash right now so I would have bought something, yes. I would never request a gift card from anyone, I would say "oh anything is fine"! Then re-gift any crap toys at another party [hgrin]

[Kayano]

Still... YABU.
Asked, told, end of IMO

You know for next time

[shubiedoo]

... but no, I would never judge anyone by how much they spent, it's not important. Not everyone feels that way though!

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

Why did you ask if you were going to give her a stored up present you had at home. Did you think there was a good chance she would ask for a present you had already bought?
I don't think asking for a gift card is rude.

[shubiedoo]

That's a good point Verlaine (and I like French lit too!)

[shubiedoo]

Well, we're in Canada and you really can't get much for $5, even $10 looks a bit mean! This child moved from another school last year so we just met them, I was being polite...

[verlainechasedrimbauds]

OP do you judge people by how much they spend on gifts, or how much you think they have spent? I don't. If someone gave a £2 gift voucher, I wouldn't think any less of them than if they gave a £20 voucher. I'd think it was kind that they had given something. You asked "what he was in to". She might know that all the things he is "into" cost loads of money, so I think asking for a gift card rather than a toy is quite thoughtful actually, especially if she suggested several shops.

[usualsuspect]

No ,anyone who thought that was mean would have to lump it I'm afraid

[Catsdontcare]

Also there is nothing wrong with a five pound gift voucher.

[Catsdontcare]

She didn't ask for cash she asked for a gift card. And actually you asked she answered so yabu. If you have budget in mind or surplus gifts at home then it's best not to ask! I actually think it's quite nice when kids get given something very different to what they are normally into so I never ask!

[MissVerydead]

Shubiedoo I think that is a good idea.

[usualsuspect]

I would get a fiver gift card ,its not a competition to see who spends the most on presents

[SurprisEs]

If OP had gifts at home why did she ask? Should've just picked one.

[shubiedoo]

And Humphrey, same sentiment!

[slavetofilofax]

I think if you asked, it's fair enough that she stated a preference.

The fact that you buy gifts in sales or whatever is irrelevant if you asked what he wanted. We love getting vouchers or gift cards, because it's nice to go and spend them, and it helps the child learn about the value of money.

If you wanted to give a gift that you chose or that you had already picked up in a sale, why would you ask??

What woud you have done if you had a stash of book and lego sets ready for parties, asked what they wanted, and then they said something that you didn't have? It's the same difference.

[shubiedoo]

Exactly squiglett! I can't really get away with spending less than a certain amount when it's a gift card. I might get him something small and then give 10 on a gift card as well.

[SirHumphreyAppleby]

Course it's rude. It means you have to pay a certain amount, or you will look mean. No chance of getting a great gift for a bargain price.

[Chrysanthemum5]

DS had his birthday recently and some of the mums got together and bought a gift card for a toy shop. It was great - it meant they spent £5 each (which is the maximum I'd want to spend) and DS was able to buy a toy he'd wanted for ages. However he did also get some gifts which was great because opening a toy is fun, opening a gift card is dull.

Anyway you asked, the mum answered - personally I think asking for a gift card is a bit rude. If you've got presents in stock I'd give one of those