To think this was a bit rude

[hanaka88]

My little boy is autistic and so cannot handle trips to tesco an the lights and noises and crowds send him into a meltdown. I do however try to take him once a week to buy a small toy car to de sensitise him to the shop.

So went today with my friend and her autistic child. My son inevitably had a major melt down. Screaming and lying down in the trolley, I was crouched down talking him through it and trying to get him to calm down so we could complete the trip and make it a success for him. My friend wandered off with her child looking at the toys and talking about christmas.

A pregnant woman decided to walk up to my friend, who she obviously didn't think was with us, point at my son and say 'that's disgusting!' my friend looked at the woman and said 'if you mean that little boy he is disabled' and the woman mumbled and ran off.

I know people don't have awareness and don't understand but surely all kids have bad days and surely it isn't acceptable to go round calling other peoples children disgusting to strangers, disabled or not. The thing is if she had walked up to me and asked what was up I would have explained and not minded one bit.

Anyway. Rant over. Just needed to get it out.

My little boy used to be just like other children until he was 3 and something happened to his brain. He tries so hard, I just hate it when people feel the need to say this. He's only just 5.

[Anna1976]

Hanaka88, i feel your pain, and would like to personally kick that woman for her insensitivity.

I have Asperger's. My parents do that kind of judging all the time, frequently about me. Ironically they are both probably on the autism spectrum, but neither has the self-insight to know.

My sister frequently makes comments that demonstrate she has swallowed the stereotypes about autism and can't stand people like me. My father has just made a comment about how much my sister must have been disadvantaged in life by having an ugly weird asperger's sister like me, and my mother agreed it must be hell having to go through school with a subnormal sibling embarrassing you. I actually thought my life at school was hell because my sister constantly bullied me.

I see my parents' comments as coming from an absence of empathy and lack of self-knowledge - and that's what the stupid cow in the supermarket was demonstrating too. She was probably jsut being an insensitive judgy munter, but she could have been scared it might happen to her, just like my sister.

Your son sounds like my sort of little boy. Good on him for trying.

[FanjoForTheMuahahammaries]

People are like this. I was sitting in shopping centre (child free at the time) and a toddler, 2 at MOST was having a tantrum as her mum had taken her off the Peppa Pig ride. This elderly lady said to me "that's just disgusting", then went on a huge rant about how "they aren't told "no" any more, eventually saying "now that is just embarrassing".

I said "well, she is 2, they tend to do that then they grow out of it" and walked away.

Little did she know I have a tall 5 year old with severe autism who kicks off in supermarkets earning us all sorts of judgy looks (no comments yet thankfully, DD has some physical issues so her SN is maybe more obvious).

[FanjoForTheMuahahammaries]

hanaka..also feel free to PM me at any time, my DD also had a major regression at almost 3 and went from being gifted with early speech to no speech, severe ASD and LDs, it is the absolute worst.

[FanjoForTheMuahahammaries]

i must also confess that before I had DD I was glaring and judging a girl who looked about 8 having a HUGE tantrum on the bus.

Now I have learned through experience that she surely had ASD and feel awful, karma bit me on the backside there!

[CailinDana]

I used to teach children with disabilities and any time we took them out on trips we'd get stares and tuts. It drove me up the wall, especially as many of them had an obvious disability so they couldn't use the "I didn't know" excuse. If I was back in that situation now I would have said something but back then I didn't have the balls. I'm so glad your friend said something to her.

[WilsonFrickett]

www.sensorytoywarehouse.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=1757

Sensory Warehouse is good for chewies. OP pop over to Special Needs sometime, lots of support there and also there are some real experts on schools/diagnosis/'the system' who can give you lots of advice on school issues.

[Diamondback]

On the bright side, sounds like the silly cow was completely mortified, so hopefully she's learnt her lesson and is currently at home, dying a thousand deaths from shame.

Tra la la!