to want another few kids

[Rollon2012]

I did have plans to go to uni , but I feel pg with my wonderful ds ( was a teen mother) and have been a SAHM ever since ds is a toddler now, I did an ou course to try and get something under my belt, my goal is to be a SW.

I'v been a bit muddled as to what to do next I do want some kids I thought I would be very pressured to go back to work, (I dont have one to go back to I think id go down the care route) And I've been thinking I wouldn't get into a well paid job becuase I've been a carer/sahm all my life and all those wages would probably go to cover the childcare and not much else, would AIBU to after I get ds potty trained to have another 1 or 2 kids close together then dust off my hands and go to work permanently.

just want some advice please be gentle [hblush]

[alwayspoor]

I was early 20s when fell pregnant with DD1, I was in a career that I didn't want to do anymore and I wanted to stay at home with DD so I did. DH worked/es FT. I then went on to have 2 more daughters in the following 7 years.

In this time I have managed one ou course and am just about to start second one. I have also trained to do another job (can't say as will out myself). I am now early thirties and thinking about having another child when DD3 starts school in two years OR I might start trying to find work, do more OU or re-train.

Not very helpful, am I? I would say that its hard with more than one child to study, train etc However if you have them close together and they are at school may be easier.

[4madboys]

i had my first when at uni and have had four more since, so 5 in 11yrs, and now at 32 am done having babies and once my littlest is old enough will start volunteering to get experience and looking for work etc. i have another 30yrs to work, so for me it was the right thing to do, to have all the kids we wanted and enjoy looking after them and studying (have done some ou etc) and then to go back to work when they are a bit older. i am sure it will be hard to get into the job market again, but am happy to do voluntary work etc to build my cv up and more training if necessary :)

[jellybeans]

I was in a simelar position. I entered professional training after DD1 but hated leaving her in a nursery full time. I then had DD2 and SAH for over 10 years-having another 3 kids (have 5 now). I am in (early) 30s and halfway through an OU degree. I am very glad I had mine young as my health isn't as good now as it was and also I lost 4 pregnancies (2 late) but was lucky to be young enough to try again. I wish back then I wsn't so worried about 'getting back to work' and bowing to the pressure expected of me to get a paid job. I have much enjoyed SAH and my kids will all be grown up or school junior age when i am still under 40. I may never reach as high in my career (which i am changing direction with my current degree) but I don't care. My advice is to have kids now if that is what you want and don't worry about the career. maybe look into OU study before the fees go up. But raising kids is a perfectly good vocation! Then you have your whole 30/40/50/60 and beyond for a career! Good luck.

[harassedandherbug]

I had ds1 at 18, and then ds2 at 20 for very similar reasons to you. Xh (we were married then!!) worked full time and we could afford for me not to work. I went back to work part time and college part time when ds2 started at nursery and it worked out really well for me! I've got a good, well paid job and thought I was done with kids.

Then xh and I got divorced! Actually it's 10 years ago almost exactly that we split up..... A few years later I met my now dh and we have a 5yr old and at the age of 41 I'm 7 mths preg. Doing motherhood both ways .

[Rollon2012]

hmm im actually quite impressed I was expecting some nasty ones

good examples of both has definetly made me think.

[hokeycakey]

Hi rollon

I was not as young as you for dc1 but mid twenties, I had done a degree and worked a few years in social care but no big career as such, I stopped working when I had ds and then had dd 2 years later I am now pregnant with dc3 who may or may not be the last :) I have retrained in a flexible new career which I LOVE and pays well during this time and hope to build up more hours as dcs grow up,

Agree with others to get your ducks in a row regards dp and what would happen if u split but I have a single parent friend who trained as a social worker after dcs so anything is possible!

For me personally I think dcs and then the career is best but you must know in your heart what you really want

[Rollon2012]

hmm its hard listening to my head and hard iu'm really longing for another kid and really broody but I have to do whats sensible too.

[Rollon2012]

*head and heart