To think this is a not much money . . .

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Hi, a friend(ish) of mine has asked me to help out with childcare for her DS. She works full time and needs childcare covered before and after school mon-thurs every week for the forseable future.

I don't usually do anything like this as I really have my hands full with my own 2 dcs and have only recently been well enough to cope even with that (depression etc).

I don't want to do it for many reasons really, such as it making my life more difficult, I only just cope as it is, wouldn't be able to go out with my dcs after school, want to go back to work soon etc

But the thing I am wondering is that she offered me money to do it, and that's what she was using to persuade me. She offered £33 a week to cover the 11 hours, so £3 an hour. My DH thinks this isn't very much.

I just wondered what other people thought. It's a bit of a redundant question really seeing as I don't feel I can cope with another child for 2.5 hours a day but need the money so I suppose I would consider it more seriously if I didn't think it was a bit stingy.

Also how does that compare to if she were to use breakfast and afternoon clubs. Was wondering if she were just trying to save money by having me do it.

[WilsonFrickett]

Also if cash changes hands you should declare it and pay tax on it OP!

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Lemon whether she/you are responsible for picking up a child from school early if that child is unwell etc, etc. You'll want it all written down clearly.

Good point!

harassedandherbug Wow Hampshire is cheap! We are in Greater London. You are right that I don't really want to do it. I suppose I would consider it more if it was more money but long term it's not something I am cut out for.

Feel a bit peeved that she might be trying to use me just because it's cheaper. Feel like she's taken the piss a bit.

I genuinely wasn't sure what was reasonable. The last time I was working per hour I was charging £20 an hour, although that was for something I am skilled in and you can't compare one job to another. Just wasn't sure what was normal for this sort of thing.

Thanks for the replies.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Well seeing as her DS would be here quite early he might well have not had breakfast and would be turning up just as might eat theirs. There would also be after school snacks involved as mine always have them.

I wouldn't mind helping out occassionally though.

[SmethwickBelle]

A childminder would expect to have several children so won't just be getting the 3 or 4 pound each hour, it will be multiplied into something worth having (or that would be the hope).

If you're just minding hers it should be more than a childminder to make it in any way worth your while, so I agree 5 per hour minimum.

[Merrylegs]

First you need to ask yourself 'Do I want to be a childminder?'

If the answer is 'no'... Well, that's the answer you give her. (The standard MN response is 'I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me" !)

If you do want to be a childminder then register yourself and charge her the going rate.

(It IS childminding and if you take it on as a bit of a favour and some extra pocket money you will soon resent it hugely. If you go into it as a business, it might work better).

[Kewcumber]

My child minder was £5 per hour in greater london and thats about the going rate around here. For that price I would expect a professional approach. ie registered and insured and know first aid for children and have a back up plan if you are ill (my CM used to offer a fellow CM that the children knew though I never used her).

You need a contract and you do need to be registered as the law stands at the moment. This is not babysitting its childminding.

Childminders hourly rate sound cheap becasue they can have more than one child (and they price themselves out of the market if more than about £50 per full day)

[Flisspaps]

The rules are here if you want clarification.

Basically, if it is in your home, and money (or vouchers or payment towards something) change hands, and it is for more than 2 hours at a time then it is childminding and you must be registered with Ofsted.

[Flisspaps]

However, I charge £3.00ph for childminding (no, it's not much money!)

[JsOtherHalf]

Reciprocal childcare is no longer a problem as long as no money changes hands. This ofsted guidance is from March 2011.

www.ofsted.gov.uk/resources/factsheet-childcare-childminding-between-friends

[pinkytheshrinky]

I have to say I do't think £3 per hour is a lot but then again this woman is assuming that you are not going to pay tax on that amount (which a registered professional would have to) - and for the record I do think that there is plenty of room for people to be earning a little bit of cash from one another. Cash makes the world go around no? I pay my cleaner/baby sitter and gardener in cash and I am quite sure that none of them pay tax - so what? really that is not a concern for me at all.

I think it is a good thing for women (in particular) to help one another out exchanging cleaning or child care for a bit of money - paying tax and registering and all that makes these small amounts of money not worth earning.

Op if you can cope with it, and you need the money then do it. Loads of people on here go on about paying tax and all that but really, I bet as many (including myself over many years) have earnt a little pin money on the side to help themselves and their families out.

[booyhoo]

first and foremost,you must be registered as a childminder to do what your friend is requesting.
secondly,you shouldn't be looking after children you dont want to look after. it breeds resentment and no child deserves that.

[porcamiseria]

OK OK! but I tell you I used my friend and paid her and she was NOt registered (alto she will be soon). Why? as all the local CM were in a witchy coven! this is one law that I think can be broken, really. I think its ridiculous that people have to use some random CM rather than have a reciprocal agreement with friends

and as for the case with the policwomenm makes my blood boil

OP , IMO if you are going to do it get £4-5 PH, otherwise it will breed resentment and its not worth it

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

booyhoo you shouldn't be looking after children you dont want to look after. it breeds resentment and no child deserves that.

Yes absolutely! That's another reason I don't want to do it. I can be moody and have up and down weeks. When I am down I get by the best I can and that often means my lovely dcs don't get much attention, but it's the only way I can cope. I can't see me being all jolly for weeks/months at a time. It's not fair on the little boy as he's lovely (well aren't they all) and doesn't deserve that.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

porcamiseria What happened with the policeman? Haven't heard about that.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Oh and thanks for the links, will look later as have visitors now.

[SansaLannister]

Nope, not enough money for the hassle.

And if you don't want to do it, DON'T!

You do not need to: apologise, justify why you won't, or offer her compromise or alternative arrangements.

Her childminding problems are hers to sort out, not yours!

Tell her, 'No, that doesn't work for me and my family.' That's it. Over and over. If she asks why not, just 'That doesn't work for us.' End of.

[SansaLannister]

You don't need a get out, either because this isn't your problem. You are not beholden to this person. She is not your boss, your landlord, etc.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

I did mention the law thing initially and they both dismissed it as nonscense.

The money doesn't really seem enough for something which is going to put me out 8 times a week. It would be different (maybe) if it was all in one day but it will affect me 4 days of the week. I'm glad I am not the only one who thinks so!

Must practise my "no I won't be able to do that".

[SansaLannister]

'I did mention the law thing initially and they both dismissed it as nonscense.'

What is is with all these cheeky chancers coming out of the woodwork, trying it on with people and trying to guilt them into being taken advantage of?

They're trying to piss take on you.

If you don't want to do it, then DON'T! You don't owe them any explanation or apology. 'No, that doesn't work for me.' 'No, I won't be doing that.' 'No, I will not do that.'

[StealthPolarBear]

she is asking you if you would like to change career and become a childminder for her convenience.
Would you?

[SansaLannister]

And here's the other thing with these informal arrangements to provide regular childcare, because they are often initiated by cheeky pisstakers and take advantage of the carer: the 7.45AM will become earlier and earlier, the pick-up time will vary (first it'll be they had to work late, then it will be they had to just nip into Tesco after work, run an errand or the like). Things they know they could never get away with if they were using a licensed CM and had a contract to honour.

Yet another reason to say NO.

[ChristinedePizan]

Blimey - this is the 3rd thread this week with someone trying to bully an MNer into doing her childcare for bobbins or nothing at all.

If you don't want to do it, don't do it - it sounds far more hassle than it's worth and suspect it will become even more because you will end up feeding him

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

StealthPolarBear No I don't want to be a childminder, I am not cut out for it so that wouldn't be in any child best interest. She dismissed the mention of my having to legally register as a childminder though when I brought it up (there was a tone of voice as well . . . a "don't be stupid" thing).

I think it's more that it's cheaper and more convenient for them if I do it.

SansaLannister You are absolutely right. I can well imagine her getting arsey if I were unable to do it one day as well. If it's not actually my job then I am not obliged to make it my priority which is not what she needs either seeing as they both work full time. They need proper dependable childcare. My oldest DD often has hospital appointments that are across London and those days are tricky already, so for a start I wouldn't be able to do those. She either hasn't thought through all the possible problems or she is a bit daft.

I suspect that she is thinking I will pick up where her childminder left off (she's moved away) and will provide the same service.

ChristinedePizan So is it unanimous that it's not much money for the hassle? I really wasn't sure. I would imagine that I would end up feeding him dinner a lot as well. She has a fairly responsible pressured job so I would expect her not to be on time for pick ups.

I still feel guilty though! What's wrong with me! I keep thinking about the little boys face and imagine him all sad . . .

[ChristinedePizan]

I suspect that you feeling guilty is exactly why she asked you rather than anyone else. He will be fine going to before/after school clubs - thousands of children do :)