to buy a 2008 car when hubby says he is going to leave me if i do it

[barbsb]

me: earns more cash, 40 k pay increase in 12 mths, , pay 60% of bills in house, no car

Him:slightly less cash, no pay increase on horizon, has crap car with 100,000 miles on it

So i want to buy this car, we had a chat, he says no , i say im going to but it anyway , I have a 2 and a half hour roundtrip daily commute starting next week and quite frankly dont want to drive his hunk a junk

So he is leaving me , AIBU , be honest kids I can take it

[Jackin]

Is this for real? Oh and fabbichic lighten up.

[magicmelons]

Your DH is being a twat if there is genuinely no other debts and you can afford it then i'd say buy it. If he leaves over that then your well shot of him. A 2008 car is hardly a brand new cayenne it's a sensible choice if you have a long commute.

[catinthehat2]

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

good for you! congratulations on the pay rise, are you going to but him a nice set of suitcases?

[mousesma]

My DH and I have seperate finances but we would never make a big purchase like buying a car without getting agreement from each other first.

Flip this situation round, if it was her DH with the higher paid job saying he is going to buy a new car no matter what she thinks would it still be ok?

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Well, it depends how much the 2008 car is going to cost, what sort of debt you are in as a family, how it will affect the family finances.

You are certainly not giving us a complete picture op.

If you had £50,000 in the bank and wanted to spend £6,000 on a 2008 car then he would be vvu.

If you have minus £5,000 in the bank and you want to spend £20,000 on a 2008 car then I could see his point.

[TimeWasting]

I'd be pissed off if DH wanted to buy a flash car when we have debt.

Has he said why?

[catgirl1976]

I am reading it is as she HAD a payrise of £40k in the last year? If her pay is only £40k then I understand a little more the DH may be saying the cannot afford the particular car but even still.....seems a bit ott

[eurochick]

Fabby, you can read that as meaning:
-pay is 40k and will get a payrise in next 12 months;
-pay is 40k and got a payrise in last 12 months; or
-will be getting a 40k payrise in 12 months' time.

It really isn't clear.

[mollymole]

why do you need HIS PERMISSION - you need a car, you have enough money - do you have any children (apart from your DH)
because if not you need to seriously consider your situation

[catgirl1976]

Student Loan doesnt count as debt - they just take 9% of your income so on your salary it will be paid of in no time anyway. But why can you not buy yourself a car? He has a car - you need a car - its your money. Not understanding the problem.

If he wasn't being such a tit I would suggest you buy him a new car too but he is so don't.

[FabbyChic]

No she earns 40k and has a pay rise in the last 12 months, Please read the OP properly,

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Asked DH about this, based purely on the OP.

He said your DH should be giggling to himself at the prospect of a 40k rise in household income.

[HalfTermHero]

You should buy the car. If it will not put any strain on your finances then enjoy the fact that you earn good money and don't let jealous hubby spoil it for you.

[Amateurish]

More information needed:

• What is the car and what is the cost? Just saying 2008 doesn't help. You can get a brand new car for £6k or spend £50k on a 3 year old Aston.
  

• Do you share finances and make joint decisions about spending?
  

• Is he objecting to specifically this car or is he objecting to you buying your own car at all?
  

• What is his car? 100k doesn't necessarily mean it is not fit for purpose, if it is normally reliable for you.

[culturemulcher]

Is it also possible to tell us all what kind of job gives you a £40K pay rise in one go?

[culturemulcher]

Hmm I'm tending to side with you on what you've said so far, but I'd like to know what his reasons are for saying no?

If he's worried about the £32K of debt you have outstanding, then I think he might have a very good point. Is it possible to pay off a chunk of debt and buy a 'new' car?

[hellospoon]

If he is going to leave you over buying a new car then there are more serious issues that need to be addressed

[badlydrawn]

YANBU. It sounds as if you have a legit reason for needing a new car. What you haven't stated is how much is this new car and how you are planning on paying for it. This maybe the crux of it. If you were planning on spending £30K on a car then I feel he may have a point with your existing level of debt and could be worried about finances, however £8K on a 3 yr old car wouldn't and shouldn't be a problem.

[eurochick]

This thread makes no sense.

[valiumredhead]

[Adagoo]

Why haven't you paid the debts if you've had such a huge increase in income? Are you spending shitloads of money elsewhere?

Why is he saying no to the car?

[valiumredhead]

Is he making a point as you aren't paying off your debts first?

[howabout]

Buy the car and then see what he does. That's what the average DH in your position would do.

[beebe]

what are his reasons? why was it even a question? you need it, you are paying for it, you decide.
He surely cant just say I will leave you if you buy a car there's other factors; mention.