to be shocked/horrified that this child had a dummy?

[Kitsilano]

I'd say he was at least 3 years old, at the swimming pool with mum and dad, swimming happily, jumping off the side etc...with a dummy in his mouth at all times.

I know children can be attached to dummies (my DD1 had one) but surely not in the pool?!!

[JellyBeansOnToast]

I'd be more concerned about the fact he could potentially injure himself by jumping in a pool with something in his mouth.

[MotherSnacker]

I never gave my DD a dummy.

She just sucked her thumb instead.

Nothing to worry about. Especially if they are not yours and you don't know the situation.

[barbie007]

You don't know what happened before they went to the pool....he probably had a massive tantrum and refused to go swimming hence the dummy.
YABU to judge others in that way

[MintyMoo]

There are ways of helping children but there's no 'cure'. I find some things lessen over time, I've been able to wear tights since I was 11, before that I couldn't stand them. I've also become less of a fussy eater as my palate has adjusted to certain things like tomatoes, cheddar cheese, curry. Some things like cream and butter and custard are definitely off the menu, always have been and probably always will be.

I've found my own coping mechanisms over time, lots of others I know have as well. My Mum just chose her battles widely with me, she accepted I had a limited menu range but encouraged the fact that I was usually prepared to try things and sneaked all sorts of veg in to the mash just fed me what I wanted She also largely let me wear what I wanted and hoped I wasn't too cold (wouldn't wear trousers, still won't, skirts and dresses only, and as a child wouldn't wear tights, just thick, knee high socks).

Luckily Mum hates loud noise too so we made a pact to work together to do the shopping as quickly as possible.

She never managed to remove the dummy until I rejected it though

[JoySzasz]

My eldest had one till 5.[shocked]

My youngest son threw his away at 9months.

My daughter has never had one.

All different :)

[ScrotalPantomime]

I am a casual judger when I see dummies in older children. I do still think it's best avoided in 'lazy' cases, because of the speech/teeth, but thanks to this thread I will remember that there may be more to it.

Anyway, I've already had to rethink my view because we were ever so smug about having weaned DD off hers at 6 months. At 7 months she started teething. Her index/middle fingers have barely left her mouth since, and she's 4 in a few weeks. I really wish we'd stuck with a decent dummy instead!

[ScrotalPantomime]

I did try getting DS (our second child) to have a dummy too, because he wasn't such a good sleeper. Unfortunately only boob was good enough for him

[Law0]

Clearly being naive here, but why do patents give a dummy to a child in the first place? A baby doesn't know dummies exist. I say this understanding that a child will have to be weaned off it.

My DD never had one. She did suck her finger occasionally but certainly doesn't now at 2y.

I must admit that if I saw an "older" child with a dummy, I would think the child had something a bit wrong with them.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Ah, Law. I'm assuming your DC didn't scream non-stop for 10 months and refuse to sleep unless they were either being carried or had a dummy.

If you didn't need one, be grateful.

[A1980]

YABU

I sucked my thumb and had my blankie with it until I was 8 or 9. He's only 3.

[hazeyjane]

Dd1 had a dummy because she had colic, and it was the only thing that would stop her screaming.

Ds had a dummy because he was in SCBU, where they asked if minded them using one, as it would be a useful way of soothing him in the incubator, as I couldn't get him out to cuddle him, I wanted to have any comfort available! He also had horrendous silent reflux, and a dummy can really help with this.

[horriblemotheragain]

my 3.11yr old DD still has one at night, and would happily suck on it all day if i didn't take it away in the mornings once she gets up... perhaps this child was having a particularly difficult day and the parents couldn't bear the argument/tantrum that would follow if they put their foot down. TBH when I see other 'older' children with dummies it makes me feel better that my DD still has one!

[bamboostalks]

No problems with a dummy. Would not allow one in a pool though unless some desperate need. Would have judged, I am always judging others though, it's my favourite pastime.

[horriblemotheragain]

Oh, and WHY a dummy? Because my DD wouldn't nap unless I rocked her for fifteen minutes first and then held her throughout the nap. And she screamed most evenings on and off for six hours. And my oldest was only 2.5 and didn't understand why I couldn't put the baby down. So she had a dummy and life became bearable! She is the only one of my children who would put herself down for a nap, would fall asleep when tired rather than fighting it, and slept through the night the earliest. She'll grow out of needing it at some point, and as she only has it at night, does it really matter?

[vogonmothership]

I think the world can be a shit place and if a 3, 4 5, 6 etc year old takes some comfort from sucking a bit of rubber, cloth, teddy's ear, thumb etc etc what's the big deal

[Law0]

I see Annie. Yes, I may have relented too.

Still a bizarre invention though. Here baby - suck on this piece of rubber ha.

[thegruffalosma]

I don't think it's that weird. Some babies like to pretty much constantly suck. If you don't want them constantly sucking your breast or constantly bottle feeding just for comfort and they don't yet have the co-ordination to get hands/objects in their mouths a dummy is the logical solution. It is also supposed to reduce the risk of cotdeath - something to do with them going into less of a deep sleep while sucking apparently so for that reason alone I was disappointed that ds refused to hold onto one in his mouth for more than a second! I'm sure the inventor of the dummy has made a fair bit - a lot of babies like them.

[Pinkjenny]

My dd is 4yo and still has a dummy. But only at night and only at home. I'm not sure that's much better, really...

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

Bit unnecessary to say horrified, my ds is 3 and he has his dummy still, granted never in public, never ever! I have very valid reasons for allowing my son to keep his comforter!

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

none of your business really is it?

[MagdaMagyarMadam]

off topic but..... JoySzasz - interesting name.

[BornThisWayBaby]

YABU - I used to think my child would be off his dummy before 2, easier said then done

[magicmelons]

That's so strange, i saw the same thing today and thought how weird, child was a little younger but perfectly happy floating around the pool with a dummy in its mouth.

FWIW my dd had a dummy until she was 2, in fact sometimes she had 4 or 5 on the go at anyone time but we made her keep them in her bedroom from 18m onwards and was only allowed have them if she was having quiet time, worked a treat to get her to quieten down sometimes.

[JoySzasz]

magda It is in memory of my Grandmother,her name:)

[LorettaMasonPotts]

One of mine had a beloved dummy and what I hated most about it was other people's comments.

None of their business.