to think that going back onto anti-depressants could be a positive thing.

[SunshineisSorry]

My anxiety is crippling me, ive been off medication for about six months, following about three years on citalopram.

Life is stressful, but its not as bad as it is for some - my anxiety is preventing me from dealing with it, its preventing me from dealing with anything. Its like i am in a constant state for "flight or fright" even when there isn't a problem right now.

Sometimes i just sit here and do nothing and hours will have passed. Im not depressed, just anxious.

The thing is, i dont want to be zombiefied again, i didnt think i was, but dp says i was - but now he is telling me to go back to the doctors again.

To be honest, the anxiety is sucking all the joy out of my life. I have problems yes, but doesn't everyone but i just elevate them to catastrophe and now sit and fret in case anything happens :(

My daughter deserves a functioning mother but i am not sure that medication is going to work for me. Ive just started doing some volunteer work in my old job, its good to get out of the house, but then i fret because im not earning any money but i am trying to keep going with this because i want to make myself more employable.

[JamieAgain]

So sorry Sunshine. He sounds ill-equipped to deal with it. Probably scared, but that's not an excuse. Is this a generally good relationship?

[SunshineisSorry]

not anymore, not really

[strawberry17]

As you were on Citlopram (?) 3 years and came off 6 months ago it's possible you came off the meds way too fast and are suffering withdrawals. This happened to me many times over the years and it happens to many other people and GP's generally don't understand how to withdraw people off antidepressants properly. How fast and how did you come off them? I think probably best thing to do is go back to doctors and go back on medication and stabilize yourself, and then consider coming off extremely slowly (blog about this very subject in my profile). I too suffered the 24/7 adrenaline pumping fight or flight feeling and it was because I'd come off Lustral too fast.

[AnyFucker]

sorry to hear your P is being a bit of a twat, SIS

[ada07]

strawberry the timescale is too long for a citalopram withdrawal effect. The timescale is more like a relapse.

[strawberry17]

No I don't think so I was confused by this issue for years ada, it's very easy to mistake withdrawal for relapse and it is a head fuck.
I too am so sorry your dp is being so unsupportive, just what you need right now

[ada07]

Nooooooooo strawberry withdrawal symptoms occur within days/weeks not months like for the OP. If you don't believe me check out what I'm saying on the national institute of mental health website [NIMH]

[SunshineisSorry]

i don't think its withdrawal symptoms, but i can't help but wonder if my brain biochemistry is off kilter as a result of being on the meds for so long. I know how SSRIs work, and can see where there would be long term effects, even though they are not reported. Thats the thing, it feels physical - but maybe ive just been in a bad way for so long, thats how its got me. Its bloody sodding pants but im going to beat it

[ada07]

I don't feel that I've sounded or seemed very sympathetic, sunshine. Not my intention. Sorry.

I think that anxiety symptoms do feel really quite physical because they are tied into our response to danger which is a very biological primitive area of experience IYKWIM.

A good friend of mine who is on long term antidepressant treatment tells me that she has a 'citalopram-deficiency'. I know what she means as she has relapsed so many times on stopping her meds and this pattern was also the same before she started taking A/Ds. She says it's like taking thyroxine for her underactive thyroid.

I do hope that you get some real help from yr GP. And don't forget to ask him/her about the online CBT. I found it very helpful.

[SunshineisSorry]

ada, im not looking for sympathy really, just helps to "talk" about it. I feel so angry with myself, we have lots of stressful stuff going on at the moment but its nothing new and i should be able to cope with it. Just can't cope with anything very much - i wake up feeling like ive just stepped on a roller coaster, or that horrible gut feeling you have if you thought there was a burglar in the house, or waiting to do an exam and it doesn't go away, ever :(

[Jellykat]

Don't know if this is any help, but on a recent handout i was given on my Womens Aid programme, there's a helpline number for 'Anxiety UK' - 08444 775 774 or 0161 227 9898.
They are a registered charity of 30 years, and may have advice on what to do next. (just googled them and they look good)

The online CBT programme recommended is called Fear Fighters, looks like you have to be given a password by your GP.

Good Luck Sunshine.

[Punkatheart]

Good advice given already. I hope that things change for the better. Anxiety comes often from sensitive people, who feel the world a little more acutely.

Sounds as if things are awfully hard for you but here's hoping that your name is indicative of sunshine to come.

[ada07]

OK. I was only being kind. I'm tired and off to bed now.

[Wottywot]

Hi OP,
I have been on fluroxetine for the past couple of years and this is my second pregnancy whilst taking it. It has done me the world of good. I don't feel strange or unreal, I just feel completely normal now and I am just thankful it has changed my life to be what it should. It just keeps my head above water. Its strange that you feel you felt zombified. Maybe I did a bit at the beginning but I really remember that. Maybe some are better than others. I find depression zombifies you alot more - sitting in a room all day feeling terrible would be worse.
Why don't you ask your Dr to try another one, as you know it takes a few weeks to kick in and settle down so try and stick it out and see what happens.

[PhishFoodAddiction]

Just wanted to echo that you're not a failure for going back to the doctor and perhaps going back onto medication. You need whatever keeps you functioning.

I'm on citalopram, and I take it before bed, so it doesn't give me that zombified feeling. I'm only on a fairly low dose, but I have to take it all the time to keep me on an even keel. I have depression but also anxiety/ panic attacks etc. These are much better on the citalopram.

I hope that you can access the right help, and that you'll start feeling a bit brighter too.