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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that dads who say I am babysitting the kids are strange.

39 replies

goodbyemrschips · 10/04/2011 19:57

As above.

Dads are not babysitting their own kids, you baby sit other peoples kids surely?

OP posts:
Hardandsleazy · 10/04/2011 19:59

Yes- daft thing to say

clairefromsteps · 10/04/2011 20:04

Yes, it's really weird. Like you're doing a job and not just spending time with the little humans who are half you.

FetchezLaVache · 10/04/2011 20:06

YANBU. I went on my own to a wedding reception once and if I'd had a fiver for every time I had to say "No, he's NOT babysitting, he's at home looking after his own child", I'd have been able to stand everyone there drinks all night!

cupofcoffee · 10/04/2011 20:42

I agree. YANBU.

buttonmooncup · 10/04/2011 20:48

YANBU. I always assume it is the dads that do sweet FA any other time that say this though.

theborrower · 10/04/2011 20:48

Errr, except I have said once (or twice) on nights out that my DH was babysitting our DD. I got told off for that Blush

loolooskiptotheloo · 10/04/2011 20:50

grr this drives me mad, another one is " oh has jon (for example) got the kids, isn't he good?" erm no, he's their father!

alphamummy · 10/04/2011 20:53

"isnt he good" I hear this alot when i'm at work, wonder if people say that about me to DH when he is working?!

loolooskiptotheloo · 10/04/2011 20:56

have also had "you work full time, don't you miss him? (DS), no, because i am busy working - would you ask her dad that?!

Snobear4000 · 10/04/2011 20:56

"isnt he good"

Yes, that irks me a tad, too. But remember, most mum's blokes are shite and the poor dears are just expressing their justifiable envy.

FetchezLaVache · 10/04/2011 21:11

An old lady came up to me in the street and congratulated me on how "good" DH is with DS. All he was doing at the time was strapping him into his pushchair! She then predicted I would have twins next ("I know these things, you see, my dear"), so hopefully she was just bats.

TrillianAstra · 10/04/2011 21:12

Agree

southeastastra · 10/04/2011 21:13

i say that as a mother. 'have to babysit' so it works both ways.

i do have to babysit!

breatheslowly · 10/04/2011 21:15

YANBU and I comment on this when people say it. However, if I want DH to look after DD I appear to have to book him, a bit like a babysitter. Apparently the default is that I look after her.

lazylula · 10/04/2011 21:18

This made me laugh! Dh's friend once said 'oh so you were babysitting were you?' when it was mentioned I had had a night out. I pointed out thta no he wasn't babysitting he was caring for his children, as I do everyday and when he goes out and if he is a babysitter, does that make me a nanny or childminder for our children?

memphis83 · 10/04/2011 21:21

this annoys me so much, its up there with the annoying comment, we're pregnant!
i hate the way people say ooh isn't he good, or oh he's such a good dad, im sure when dh is at work people don't coo about how good a mother I am for looking after my child!!!

Dropdeadfred · 10/04/2011 21:22

Breatheslowly why?????

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 21:25

"YANBU. I always assume it is the dads that do sweet FA any other time that say this though."

Yep! Dads who think it's womens work to take care of the DCs, and after such 'babysitting' will mention it as proof of their brilliance for at least a month in order to get out of doing something else. The sort of dads I see so many threads on.

I sometimes get told off by DH - if I say "thanks for looking after the DCs/doing bed or bathtime etc" he'll do this face Hmm and say "erm hello, I'm their DAD!"

marriednotdead · 10/04/2011 21:25

Another one who doesn't find it strange, just bloody annoying!

It's one of those comments I can't bite my tongue at.

BadPoet · 10/04/2011 21:37

I don't know if dh says it, but I sometimes do Blush. Now that both our children are past the baby stage we go out more often, together or individually with friends and I tend to use the word 'babysitter' to mean whoever's putting them to bed and sitting in the evening, and 'childcare' for looking after them in the day, school/nursery runs etc.

marzipananimal · 10/04/2011 21:48

YANBU but I heard a mum say this about her 2 very young children. bizarre!

messagetoyourudy · 10/04/2011 21:50

Arrrggghhhh it grates big time with me, as my MIL says this about both her DS (my hubby and his brother) when they are looking after their own children whilst my SIL or I are at work.

The fact that both of her DIL are the main wage earners for the family does seem to have escaped her somewhat - just more that her darling sons have been left home alone with children............. Shock never would have happened in her day!!!

exoticfruits · 10/04/2011 21:57

I think it is odd but there are a lot of women who treat their DH like an extra DC and they like to be 'in control' and issue directions of what to do when they are not there and even refuse to leave DH in charge of their own baby-so in that case it isn't an odd thing to say!

breatheslowly · 10/04/2011 22:16

Dropdeadfred - I don't know why it has turned out like this. We each have a google calendar and if I want to arrange to do something without DD I check whether DH is busy in his calendar and if he is free I send him an invitation to look after DD. I have to invite him earlier than I want to leave the house too as otherwise he will walk in the door at exactly the time I invited him for and need a conversation about what DD has done/needs before bed time. Now that I write this down it sounds a bit odd.

Elizadoesdolittle · 10/04/2011 22:59

Breatheslowly - you're not the only one. I do this too but have a shared google calendar with DH. When I want to go out I just check there is nothing in the calendar and book it in, as does he! I didn't think it was strange but perhaps it is!? Anyway it works for us!

Also, we do use the term babysitting when either one of us is looking after DD whilst the other one is out. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I guess maybe it would if only DH used the term, but since I do too I can't complain.

Perhaps I'm odd but each to their own and all that.