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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with comments about my weight?

95 replies

KingStraub · 09/04/2011 23:49

especially while I'm eating?

I am a small build, about 5'2", and weigh about 7.10 stone.

Aibu to be annoyed with (albeit jokey) comments along the lines of:

"Oh, you really don't deserve to be so skinny" (while eating a bacon butty at my desk)

"You could do with feeding up!"

FFS. I EAT. I can't bloody help it. And I am fucking sick of being told that I need to eat more.

And, btw, I'm not even skinny, in the true sense. I'm just small!

OP posts:

YouaretooniceNOT · 09/04/2011 23:51

YADNBU! It is their unhappiness about their bodies, nothing to do with your dietry decisions. I'm guessing they have their own weight issues. It is very rude.

blackeyedsusan · 09/04/2011 23:52

.... well you look like you could do with feeding up...

Bumfuzz · 09/04/2011 23:52

YANBU. No idea why people think it is acceptable to comment on something as personal as somebody's weight, whether they are big or small.

laInfanta · 09/04/2011 23:53

Yeah but you know being slim is better than being fat. Are the people who say it a bit fat?

blackeyedsusan · 09/04/2011 23:54

sorrry, it's late, I get tied and stupid, and no yanbu, must drive you up the wall.

Original poster

KingStraub · 10/04/2011 00:08

The people that come out with these comments are by no means fat LaInfanta, which is why I find it so irritating!

Bumfuzz, exactly that - why the need to make a comment?

Blackeyed - no return biscuit, I ate it!

I just hate having to justify my size to people. Hmph

OP posts:

laInfanta · 10/04/2011 00:09

I get it a bit. I think sometimes people just can't think of something to say, or think that they will be original/witty by saying it and also think that you won't take offence because slim is society's ideal.

Again10 · 10/04/2011 00:14

You could say " You wouldn't comment on my weight if I were fat, so please don't just because I'm thin". If you wanted to be funny about it.

Tortington · 10/04/2011 00:18

youa re skinny, i am 5'2 and my lowest weight was eight and a half and i was skinny.

but in answer to your op

just say " are you being rude?" say it seriously. i got this off another mumsnetter when i was panicking about xmas and the MIL and her comments. i thought it was a genius way of reminding someone that unwanted comments were actually rude

winnybella · 10/04/2011 00:23

YANBU. Not their business. It doesn't seem very skinny to me, either (slim, but not underweight iyswim)

FabbyChic · 10/04/2011 00:27

You are skinny! Im 5ft 2" and I couldnt be less than 9stone which is a size 10, if I was 7stone 10, I'd fall down drain holes.

AgentZigzag · 10/04/2011 00:28

I used to have the same and be called 'lardy' in an ironic way.

I just sat and at them while stuffing another malteser in my gob

blackeyedsusan · 10/04/2011 00:28

damn, jammy dodgers are my favourite, but as i am carrying extra weight arround... probably just as well, sigh.

Any comment on appearance can be very wearing, especially repeated ones,

"Oo, that sounded rude" is the only thing I can think of. not good at these things...

BitOfFunnyBunny · 10/04/2011 00:29

Are your diamond shoes too tight?

laInfanta · 10/04/2011 00:33

I think people must just carry weight differently because I'm 7st 7 and 5' 3"

I'm pretty slim, but mostly a size 8, sometimes a 10, so not freakily so

Original poster

KingStraub · 10/04/2011 00:34

BoF, by that comment I presume you are inferring that I should be grateful that I am the size I am, and should STFU about what people say?

Yes?

OP posts:

sleepywombat · 10/04/2011 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winnybella · 10/04/2011 00:41

Fabby- I used to be 7 stone 10 in my early twenties and I am 5.8"- and, yes, I was very skinny then. But if someone is 6 inches shorter I would imagine that they would be just slim.
Actually my mum is half an inch taller than OP and weighs about 5 pounds more and she's slim, but not scarily skinny.

BitOfFunnyBunny · 10/04/2011 01:05

Pretty much. Honestly, don't stress- most people who comment on those lines would kill for your metabolism and figure. That is why they are commenting in the first place- they are hideously envious of you. Just enjoy it- life is hard enough, appreciate your blessings where you can.

MrsVidic · 10/04/2011 07:40

Yanbu before this pregnancy I lost weight with sw and was really happy with it, i constantly got comments about being skinny, not eating enough etc.

At first it didn't bother me then I felt like it was constant accusations of having an eating disorder! FFs I was only a slim size 10! These people have since shut up as I have got a big bump ( 24 weeks 2nd baby) and said things like " we were so worried about you" "you look so well now"

Well it's not going to stop me returning to sw the week I deliver, people will always think it's ok to comment on your weight if your slim, no fair but true

TheProvincialLady · 10/04/2011 08:08

You are well within the healthy range for BMI. I weigh more than half a stone less than you and I am also a healthy BMI. People in this country have lost sight of what a healthy weight is.

Just ignore them - it's not meant to be offensive.

ConstanceFelicity · 10/04/2011 08:13

I think that they're trying to compliment you, although I appreciate that you may not feel that way.

JenniL1977 · 10/04/2011 08:19

OP, I get this all the time as well (5'6, 8st8)
Constantly accused of having anorexia (I'm a size 8-10!) - have even been asked this while shoving a double sausage, bacon and egg butty down my throat. I looked at them, looked at my butty, looked back at them and just raised an eyebrow.
I don't know what weight/shape you have to be for people NOT to comment though. My best friend is same height as me but a stone heavier (size 12) and she's accused of being fat (which she is not!)
Now I'm pg, I've not put any weight on except for my bump, which has led to all sorts of comments like "you've got to start eating now, your bump's small, you're starving the baby" Last time I counted I was up to nearly 3000 calories a day, and she's measuring a week ahead in weight. FFS!
Enjoy your chips love :) they're all just jealous

lubeybooby · 10/04/2011 08:25

Can confirm it's jealousy but people aren't saying it in a malicious way. Us fat lasses just want to be your size SO so so so so so ssssoooo very MUCH that we assume you are overjoyed with any comment confirming you are still slim.

Not speaking for myself, I don't comment on anyones size large or small but that doesn't mean the thought doesn't go through my head.

JenniL1977 · 10/04/2011 08:35

Lubey I think we know it's not meant maliciously, it's just really wearing having to defend yourself about your genetics! (it's all my dad's family's Viking heritage that gives us all our height and skinniness)
FWIW, I'd kill to have boobs and hips :) so none of us are ever happy, are we?!

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