To not want present at christening

[ElleAndBump]

opinions wanted, we are christening my d.d in june she wil be nealry a year old, when she was born she got bought loads, which was really nice, and although presents would be nice, me and my d.p have decided if people want to buy present we would rather them donate to a chraity we have chosen,( we are thinking of local cot death charity)as we have far too much stuff in the house as it is and would like to make a difference to a charity as we have about 150 people coming to the day. but because if people to buy a gift they wil buy it before the day we want to put it on the invitation about donating to the charity, but dont know how to word it without been cheeky?? as its not obligatory to do so. ideas......:)

[harrygracejessica]

We did this :)

The twins were in SCBU so instead of presents we asked for donations to the hospital SCBU unit as they had helped the girls have the best start to life as possible.

It went down very well and no one complained about the idea either,

The wording was something like - your presence means more to us than presents but if you wish to make a donation to ........... then it would be very welcomed.

[jasminetom]

I think that's a great idea. When we had secret santa last Christmas I was expecting the usual shit. Instead I got a printed email saying that £10 had been donated to the PDSA, a charity anyone who knows me would have chosen. I was so pleased that I didn't have a bag full of crap to take home and that a charity had got something. Also love the post about nicu, that brings everything down to earth.

[ElleAndBump]

thankyou for all your suggestions got better idea of how to word it now :)

[cloghead]

we did this, for DS christening next month and said if you were thinking of buying a present you may want to think about making a donation to then linked our local nicu's fundraising page,

If it was rude I don't care, without the nicu thre would have been no christening and those we invite know that

[Panzee]

Yes 'keepsakes' look nice but I couldn't tell you where all the silver stuff is from when I got christened thirty odd years ago. And to be brutally honest I'm not that bothered.
The charity idea is lovely. I never knew what to ask for when people asked what we wanted for my son, so I ended up asking for money for his bank account. The charity sounds far better! :)

[diddl]

It is a lovely idea, but I think some people won´t want to do it purely because they have been asked/told to.

Can you suggest it as a preference, but up to them iyswim.

[amistillsexy]

I wish I'd thought of this when getting my DSs christened.

They now each have a box full of silver bits and bobs...St Christopher pendants I doubt they'll ever wear, silver bookmarks, silver spoons, etc...

Not that I'm not grateful, and pleased people thought so much of us to buy them, but I just feel the money could have gone to a good use, IYSWIM.

[TysonNobdie86]

Aww how lovely, I work for a local cot death charity and the small charities often get forgotton.
Im sure your charity will be very grateful and it is very selfless of you :)

[outnumbered2to1]

not a christening but my niece did this for her engagement party. Simply put on the invitations that as they had recently bought a house together they had all the stuff they need but would be collecting donations for british heart foundation if people wanted to give a gift they could donate....

[AgentZigzag]

I like the idea as well, but I can also see it's perhaps up to people whether they want to mark the event for your DD with perhaps keepsakes she can have as an adult?

You may be making the decision on behalf of your DD (which of course you have to every day) but it's your daughters christening, not a Christmas or birthday present to you.

The presents would presumably connected to relationships your DD has/will have, so it's more than just 'things'/monetary donations.

Of course it's entirely up to you what you do, but because it's a christening I see it as something more.

[GrimmaTheNome]

Of course its not tacky. If you think of the other end of life, its entirely normal to request 'No flowers, donations to xxx Hospice' or whatever.

I've an idea on wording - something like:
'In gratitude for xxs life, we are supporting xxx in their work. If you would like to join us in this '

[oggybags]

my friend was the same - we were invited and she had put a simple - look cutting to chase, we'd like you to be a part of the day, and not buy x any presents, but if youd like to donate to nspcc will be doing a donation instead - nspcc then sent child x a certificate of thanks - was about £100 so really nice - really easy to set up
www.nspcc.org.uk/get-involved/fundraise-for-us/in-a-celebration/christenings/celebrate-christening_wda72343.html

[olivertulliver]

I think it's a lovely idea - I'd welcome it.

There's only so many silver tooth boxes a child can need

[ElleAndBump]

thanks for some ideas how to word it, as most websites i looked on said it was cheeky and tacky to ask them to donate to charity, which i personally thought how can giving to a charity be tacky?? glad you think its ok to do so :)

[AMumInScotland]

I think its a nice idea - you can word it in a way which doesn't sound like you expect them to give anything, but just say "If you were thinking of bringing a present, we'd prefer you to look at x website for this local charity"

[Scouseem]

I think that's a lovely idea and would think it would mean more to the parents then even more clothes that DD doesn't need so I would gladly donate money instead of present.