To shout out how flippin' wonderful my husband is.....

[Sparklyblue]

Reading all these threads about knobhead husbands has really made me realise how bloody lucky I am.
When I was ill last month, I was tucked up in bed, while he looked after the kids downstairs. He would bring me drinks and anything I needed. This is the way it should be. I do the same for him when he is ill. It's called teamwork.
He takes me out, tells me I look lovely (even though i'm carrying a few extra pounds) We cooked christmas dinner together, cleared up together, I could go on. We love each other, why wouldn't we want to help each other.
I really hope relationships like mine are the norm.
All these shitty husbands, why do women put up with it?

[LittleWhiteSnowWolf]

Mine is wonderful, but he's also a frustrating, irritating arse at times. I love him, not because he's perfect, but in spite of the fact he's not!

That all being said he is the best father, a brilliant husband and he is my best friend.

[HerBeatitude]

YANBU.

MN can be a bit depressing with all these tales of awful husbands/ partners. But I think we should remember that people usually post because they're having a shit time and want to vent/ need advice, they don't usually post to say "hey, my DH is great, we're very happy and life is peachy". Occasionally we need someone to, to remind us that for many people, that's just the way it is and to remind those for whom it isn't, that that's just the way it could and should be. So happy new year with your larvely husband!

[Sparklyblue]

Everlong, I am very sorry for the loss of your son.

[snowyweather]

Everlong, that was such a lovely post. I too am sorry for the loss of your son.

[Mum2Luke]

I have a fab husband, he's gone to the match today and off for drinks later with his friends which means a nice, quiet after noon in the warm as my eldest lad (20) is taking the youngest (8 YRS) to the match too. [grin)

He's peeled spuds ready for me to make the bangers and mash dinner and he also cooked Christmas Dinner 'cos he's better at it than me, I did all the veg for him so have not been a total lazy get!

We all went sledging on Sunday - I love spending time with the kids as the eldest is at University most of the time and the middle one is at her friends 80% of the time.

He's not a romantic type but shows it in other, practical ways like sorting the car which seems to break down every week at the mo and that suits me just fine!

[Miggsie]

My DH is kind and not the slightest bit interested in football or any team sports.
He can also cook, is currently downstairs hoovering and he puts up with my 3 insane cats.

After 20 years, you'd think we'd be sick of the sight of each other, but we aren't.

I also get depressed when I see women staying with horrid men (and also my brother, who is with a ghastly woman)so it is nice to remember that there are really nice kind men out there!

[Bagabee]

My DH is a keeper - he cooks, washes and looks after our DS when I am ill (as over Xmas this year) and is v polite and considerate towards my family. My only gripe is that he can do no wrong in their eyes - e.g. one night, when he stayed out all night at the casino, and I felt I needed his support at home, my mum asked, "and I wonder what you said to him to make him want to stay away". Humpf. The son she never had...

[WillaCather]

I like my dh too. He behaves like a decent human being and treats his family with respect and affection. However, I do find this thread a bit worrying - seems like part of a trend where men have to be congratulated for meeting baseline expectations of humanity. I refuse to consider it a great achievement for a man to clear up after himself, care for his own children and treat his partner as his equal. Imagine how you'd all feel if this was the other way round - 'my dw is fab because she washes her own pants, cooks about half of what we eat and shows an interest in her kids.' That's not 'flippin' wonderful', it's normal.

I married dh for his conversation, intelligence and good looks, not because someone with a penis who could operate a washing machine filled me with undying gratitude.

[tingletangle]

I suspect most of us have fab husbands tbh. Not perfect ones but certainly good men.

[lovingmy2]

Mine is a good one too. A brilliant daddy to our 2 DC, a wonderful provider for us meaning i only need to work part-time. He cleans and tidys and hoovers every night after tea, washes the pots, we put our children to bed together, reading stories to them and tucking the in. He plays with them, takes our son to football.

He Can't cook or iron and likes to moan and grumble but i love him and he's my bestest friend. A lovely thread xxx

[WillaCather]

But really, all this should be normal! Come on, do you really think women who clean, tidy, wash up and take part in childcare are 'wonderful'?

[defineme]

I know what you mean Willa, but the op's point was that perhaps this is normal, but as a supoport site it's naturally the shit stuff that gets focussed on.

I married my dh because he's very very clever, laid back/ nothing phases him and doesn't care less about what other people think.

The fact that he's honest, respectful, reliable, mature, affectionate and considers me his equal and that we should both make an equal effort with kids/house/work/life in general.-All that stuff goes without saying.
I'm not worth anything less than that and neither is he.

We had the odd hiccup in the early days-we both had psychological baggage from our pasts, but we soon realised what was and wasn't acceptable!

I do think it's about your expectations too, then any fuckwits don't get past the starting post.

[tingletangle]

I agree Willa. Other women are always saying how fantastic my Dh is because he "helps out at home".

Firstly he isn't helping out , it is his home.

I was married to a thoughtless, lazy twat and tbh a part of the reason he was like that is because I had little self respect and allowed him.

I would not stay if my husband was thoughtless, lazy or dismissive of me and I am sure he thinks the same.

Most people are decent , regardless of their gender.

[Xenia]

Yes but I don't think people are saying it is wonderful if a man cooks - why on earth shouldn't someone male cook or do childcare - just that there are good men out there as indeed there are.

"I married dh for his conversation, intelligence and good looks, not because someone with a penis who could operate a washing machine filled me with undying gratitude."

[prozacpopsie]

Perhaps it is telling (Willa, et al) that we feel the need to mention the times when men are 'normal' decent human beings.

However, perhaps it's just nice to remind ourselves of the things we're grateful for - husbands/partners included. Many people don't have good partners so it's nice to hear the good stuff sometimes.

For example... I'm hugely grateful for my husband AND my son. Both of them have Aspergers and they both showed levels of love, empathy and engagement with others, over Christmas, that made me swell with pride.

When you consider people's starting points, it can make you even prouder of where they are.

Lovely thread.

[Ephiny]

I think my DP is fantastic because he is :), not just because he does an equal share of housework etc, though he does do that as well! But if he didn't, and instead expected to treat me like a domestic servant because I happen to be female, he would by definition not be a fantastic person IMO.

It's necessary but not sufficient IYSWIM.

[dustiness]

Can someone please tell me the secret of finding a wonderful partner, because i really don't seem to be capable of it ?

[HalfTermHero]

You have to kiss your fair share of toads before you find your prince. You learn what you actually want from what you have not had, iyswim. My dh is one in a million but I had some imperfect relationships before him. I knew he was 'the one' very quickly.

[chelleyve]

My DH has been wonderful since we found out we are expecting. Early on we had a ectopic scare (all is ok now), intially I threw myself into organising work cover, so I didn't have to think about it.
It may sound cruel but DH knew I needed to vent and cry - so he sat me down told me a few hard truths (about my need to be in control) and reassured me I could breakdown and that the my world wouldn't shatter because he wouldn't let it and that is what I needed.

Yes, he does all the normal things of housekeeping and cooking and so do I, but it is this clear understanding of me, which makes me feel so lucky - and I know that he will be a wondeful Daddy. :)

[dustiness]

Thanks halftermhero - i'm feeling a bit at the mo, thought i had found the perfect man, he's just turned into a toad...pretty much like the rest

[FancyALittle]

No, YANBU and I'm really heartened to see this thread. I think showing how grateful you are to have your partner, when they deserve it, is absolutely necessary.

I love my husband, he is even-tempered, kind, generous, funny and I consider myself extremely luck to have him as my partner in everything.

The happiest day of my life was this year when I married him. How I deserved him, I'll never know.

The saddest day of my life was this year when he was diagnosed with cancer. Why he deserved that, I'll never know.

I tell him every day how much I love him, value him and try not to take him for granted. I've been so lucky to find him, and I hope we can have a long and happy marriage. It's so important to let people know how flippin' wonderful they are, and to make the most of your good fortune in finding them.

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

I agree that doing fair share of housework and childcare should be normal, but there's nothing wrong with appreciating it, anyway. I certainly like being appreciated for doing those things myself, even though they should be a given.

Taking someone for granted is the thin end of the wedge when it comes to relationship breakdowns, IMHO...

I hope your DH does well with his treatment, Fancy. Sounds like he has a wonderful support in you.