Is a large glass of wine every night too much?

[cordelia28]

A regular argument in our house,
Is it?

[englandsmistress]

It's bollocks Bonnie, is what it is.

[GlitteryBalls]

I know Bonnie it is shit. It does have a little bit to do with body weight, but we also process alcohol differently to men. Can't rememebr exactly but I think their livers function differently and I think they produce more alcohol dehydrogenase - the enzyme that breaks it down. Just got this off wikipedia:

"Alcohol dehydrogenase activity varies between men and women, between young and old, and among populations from different areas of the world. For example, young women are unable to process alcohol at the same rate as young men because they do not express the alcohol dehydrogenase as highly."

Bollocks.

Also a lot of Asian women hardly produce it. A friend of mine from Singapore literally cannot touch a drop without getting totally hammered.

[AllarmBelly]

It would be too much for me. It would disrupt my sleep, wreck my skin and make me feel like crap pretty constantly - fuddled in the evening and exhausted/liverish in the morning.

[BonniePrinceBilly]

I do drink more than him anyway, he's got a dodgy liver from sarcoid, so doesn't drink too often.

It just all sounds so arbitrary, and like most things a healthy dose of common sense is important. Don't drink everyday, don't drink til you're on the floor, keep an eye on it and relax.

[santasakura]

yes, the different rules for men and women is bollocks.
DH is Asian and a lot of Asians don'T have some enzyme you need to break down alcohol (or something). DH gets pissed after half a shandy...
And it's not just that, when you think that it's men who commit violent crimes and tend to drink 'under the influence' it should be men curbing their drink intake, not women

[santasakura]

drive under the influence

[venusandchristmars]

From my perspective (and I am an alcoholic) I would say there are 2 components to drinking - one is habit and the other is physical/emotional.

On the habit front, drinking a glass of wine a night could be just the same kind of ritual as sitting down with a cup of tea or a mug of cocoa - just something that you do as a rountine to relax. It takes about 3 weeks to change most habits (and about 9 months for the 'new' habit to become completely ingrained). So for a 3 week period replace the 'need to have' glass of wine with something else equally enjoyable. Then re-introduce wine as part of your 'new' habit - whatever that might be. Even if you are not a problem drinker, that can be surprisingly tough if drinking wine has become an everyday habit, but you will be able to change it within a short period of time.

On the 'problem-drinking' front, alcohol itself has relatively weak physical addictive properties, what people get 'addicted' to is the pleasure hit, which happens (for people who don't drink much) probably within the first mouthful. That is why it feels good, and why it feels relaxing. The human body however adapts quite quickly to drinking alcohol so gradully over a period of time of sustained drinking, it takes more alcohol to cause that good feeling, and the impact is also subdued. So as an alcoholic, I would keep on drinking searching for that elusive 'high'.

If you are having a couple of glasses a night because you 'need' the feeling it gives you, and if you cannot easily change that habit, then maybe what you are drinking could be a problem.

I didn't become an alcoholic overnight. It started as enjoying a drink on special occasions, extended to enjoying relaxing with a shared bottle of wine with dinner every evening, crept up as I discovered that half a bottle never felt like quite enough - just one more glass would be perfect, and kept on creeping up and up. I have spent way too much money, way too much wasted time, drinking, and I've had a few risky incidents along the way. If you're worried about your drinking habit, then this is an easier time to change it than waiting to see whether is becomes something else.

And I think it is well acknowledged that the 'safe drinking guidelines' are pretty arbitrary, but there is an impact on your body from having to deal every day with a toxin, and bloody hell, it does feel great to wake up without even a trace of a hnagover

[FruitSaladIsNotPudding]

I think it is too much, and I speak as somebody who loves their wine.

I started drinking more and more recently - never more than 3 small glasses a night, but it was every night. It wasn't enought to make me hungover at all, but I was tired, and getting more and more tired gradually. So I've stopped drinking mon- thurs now and feel so much better.

Also, it is so true what Venus says - the more often you drink the more you have to drink to get the pleasure. I enjoy my friday/saturday wine in a way I simply was not enjoying my nightly wine. Which is what really stops me drinking to often! It's the same with overeating - i enjoy food so much more if I am really hungry when I eat and don't overdo it.

[suzikettles]

It's difficult to tell what the effect is going to be on our bodies. Those of us in our 30s & 40s (probably 50s as well) are the first generations of women to drink as heavily as men - we grew up in a time where it was socially acceptable for women to go into pubs without a man [shock, horror] and also are far more likely to buy and keep alcohol in the house which we then drink on a regular basis.

No one really knows how that's going to affect our aged bodies - certainly a massive increase in liver problems but also probably a rise in cancers, heart disease etc, etc. And as QS pointed out it's not just the age you live to, it's your "health years". Not much fun to get to 80 but spend the last 15 years of your life in chronic ill health.

I live in a fairly deprived area and the old people round here are in a bad, bad way. Poverty plays its part but drink and fags are the reasons my downstairs neighbour isn't likely to make his next (67th) birthday. His wife died a couple of years ago in her early 60s and she was a heavy drinker too, living with a heavy smoker.

Make it a small glass.

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

Found myself in the same boat as FruitSaladIsNotPudding - I was gradually drinking more and feeling so tired.

Have not had any for a couple of weeks and feel better.

[GlitteryBalls]

1-2 units, especially of red wine but of any alcohol, has been repeatedly found in studies to be protective against vascular disease (ie heartcattack/stroke) and actually more beneficial than nothing at all IN THAT INSTANCE. Thing is is sticking to that volume. A large glass is probably nearer 2.5-3 units and regularly exceeding 3-4 units a day starts to seriously increase risk of liver disease etc. It is recommended that after a "binge" i.e. 6 units + (that's a binge?) you give your liver 48 hours off alcohol completely. So IMO, 1 large glass a day is fine, as long as maybe you give your liver a break a couple of nights a week?

[cordelia28]

Interesting responses! I would argue a glass every night is better than none then too much at the weekend but dh doesnt agree. Not exactly our situation but dh has a no alcohol during the week rule, which I normally stick to as well but sometimes I like a glass during the week no I don't need it and could do without (fine during pregnancy and bfing) but sometimes I want it and dh makes me feel soo bad like I am a closet alcoholic he goes on and on that having a glass of wine on a Monday is a slippery slope! But to the point I'd almost hide it as he goes on that much!

I agree about the tiredness thing though and feeling under par even though not hungover ifysim. Mind you dh thinks nothing of going out once a month or so and totally overdoing it which I very rarely do, but as it's a night out and he hasn't drank all week he thinks it's fine!

[Ormirian]

Can you just not drink Mon, Tues and Thurs? It makes you feel so much better.

[happystressedmum]

Totally agree with Baggedandtagged! Well said!

[JamieLeeCurtis]

Thanks for your post venusandmars. I think someone I know drinks in the way you describe. He lives somewhere where drinking is very much part of the (ex-pat) culture and since he has been there he has drunk more and more every night. What concerns me is that he can't seem to not drink, eg if driving (he'll drink a bit less but not much). He claims not to have any health concerns, but who knows (erectile dysfunction isn't something that anyone discusses over dinner). For this reason, I do worry about people I know who drink every night, and it coming to this. I do drink myself, BTW

I think it's the "acceptable face" of alcholism and some people are fooling themselves a bit that it's not unhealthy and isn't or won't have an impact on their lives.

[JamieLeeCurtis]

Cordelia - does he know someone with a drink problem? Is this why he's excessively worried about it, do you think?

[hillbilly]

I would say it's too much and I'm a drinker. I try to have 3 nights off a week and generally 2 are consecutive. However what my DH objects to is that when I go out I like to have more than a couple of glasses, in fact more like a bottle or a little more which probably happens every few weeks. So perhaps that's not ideal either.....Gotta add though that I am a very healthy eater and do lots of running so hopefully that offsets the overindulgence

[Loie159]

why do you argue about it? sorry if this has already been said.... if its because DH thinks its too much then why not just have 2-3 nights a week not drinking? does he think you are drinking too much mid week? I dont think its too much necessarily as you are old enough to manage your own intake - i just wonder why there are arguments? i heart wine but i try hard to have 2-4 nights off a week to reduce guilt!

[Loie159]

just saw your response above.... i think that it is wrong for DH to make you feel guilty if you want a glass of wine after a tough day whether it is Mon or Fri! To not drink all week is his choice not yours, but dont hide it from him! Could a compromise be no alcohol Mon - Wed?

[KERALA1]

DH and I realised our drinking had crept up. Now we dont drink in the week unless one of us has a night out (prob about once a month or so). Then we drink what we like Fri - Sunday. We only buy really decent wine now as we drink less of it. Its worked for us - my tolerance has gone down so dont drink that much at the weekends (couple of glasses enough) and really look forward to Fridays . Am not a doctor but am sure that some people would be fine drinking what you do but equally some will not.

Oh and found tonic water quite an adequate non sugary non childish alcohol free drink.

[GlitteryBalls]

My dp has a glass pretty much every night and it pisses me off as I am pregnant and want some! And I find it funny as he hardly ever used drink before he was with me, and I introduced him to wine... But I would never comment/object to him having the odd glass to relax after a hard day at work! Unless of course he was getting absolutely bladdered every night and then I might start to get a little concerned! So tell your dp to feck off - if he wants to save it up and get wrecked at the weekend that's up to him, but if you fancy the odd glass mid-week then do it I say!

[cakewench]

In the OP it says a 'large glass' and the followup says 'a glass'. I know I'm nitpicking, but the 'large glass' servings are often actually half the bottle. So it is quite a distinction to make, especially if you're asking the question as to whether or not it's too much.

A single small glass (if you are getting approx 4 1/2 - 5 glasses per bottle then that's the size we're talking) per day is not overdoing it. However, I'd say a large glass per day, seven days a week, is too much. For the reasons given above re: overworked livers etc.

[porcamiseria]

no

[Animation]

My red wine routine: -

Mon - 0 or (1 large)
Tue - 0
Wed - 0
Thu - 2 (large)
Fri - 0
Sat - 2-3 (large)
Sun - 0

[JimmyChooChoo]

My God OP that is a fraction of what I consume every evening
I would be proud if I only had 1 glass of vino.And no yanbu for having that.