Dropped DS off with the CM whilst I'm home ...

[WhereToStartYetAgain]

... working, I might add! (Other than the occasional glance at MN)

CM lives a few doors down from me and has 2 charges, my DS and another child. The other child was off today as her sibling's school was closed and their mum had to stay home with them for the day.

DH and I are at home, working. I cleared our path and our elderly neighbours', dropped DS off at CM's this morning as usual, and DH and I decided to brave the snow to do some hoarding shopping for us and our elderly neighbours. Got back and I decided to clear the pavement in front of ours and our neighbours' houses (as elderly neighbours mentioned popping out later, I figured even a safe 3m stretch of pavement was better than nothing) and bumped into CM taking DS over to a fellow CM's for a playdate. Her child (13) is off school today and she seemed a little miffed at me. I asked her if she'd like me to clear the ice on the pavement in front of her house and she threw a backward glance at me saying "If you'd like." I suddenly felt guilty and made several assurances that I would try and pick DS up early.

However, now I'm thinking about it, I don't know how I'm in the wrong. Sure, she would love to have a snow day like a lot of other people, but DH and I still have to work, which is next to impossible to do if DS was home. And I don't see clearing the pavement of treacherous ice in front of our house as skiving. 'Twas a very odd encounter. Don't get me wrong - I love our CM to bits, and she's great CM and neighbour to us. Just wondering whether IWBU to drop DS off when it seemed obvious that CM would have loved a snow day in with her family?

[androbbob]

Half the problem I see is that you live so close to her and she has seen you. If you lived 10 minutes away and not on her route to anywhere then she would not have seen you shopping, shoveling snow, etc.

You are paying her to look after your child. If you kept him at home then you would still have to pay. If she wanted the day off (unpaid) then she should have arranged that with you.

I have done this and then picked child up early as a compromise.

YANBU

[myheadisconfused]

pink4ever

"I know 2 cms and they bitch about mums like you lol. So your a student but you really have to work today?[hmmm] changed days from when I was a student then!. If you had time to clear paths,go shopping and come on mn then think you could have looked after dc imo."

Ha. What the hell's it got to do with you? The OP has every right to do whatever she chooses with a day that she is PAYING FOR.

[NinkyNonker]

Well Pink, I would certainly be loathe to use a CM as juvenile and unprofessional as your friends sound. What has it got to do with them what their clients (as in, rhe people who pay hard cash for their services) do with their time?

[duchesse]

ditto Ninky. This is what worries me about CMs- you might be getting somebody like Pink's lovely friends and not know it.

[WhereToStartYetAgain]

DH is not paid to not work and I'm paid a living grant, so there isn't really much good fortune to send her way other than paying her when DS is off sick or when CM and/or her son are sick (we don't have to but have done in the past - though she's never said anything to me to warrant it, as she only has two charges, I'd feel guilty as though we'd be taking away half her income through no fault of her own).

Don't know what or when you studied pink4ever, but I can safely assure you that if I fall behind on my work by a day, I will spend a day having to catch up. And I can safely say that if I don't do the work, I lose my training contract, which would negate our need for a CM.

Having spent a leisurely time essentials-shopping and pavement clearing for both my household and my neighbours' and deciding to pick DS up early, I know I will pay for it this evening when I have to work past DS's bedtime and over the weekend when I'll have to go in to the library. That's a choice I made as to how my time should be spent and I'm not complaining about it - it's just a bit hard to see why I should intentionally spend less time with DH this evening and DS over the weekend just so CM can have a snow day today. But she is a lovely person and wonderful with my son, so if it means making relations with her even easier, then it will be worth it.

Anyway, you've all made me realise that spending time on here, even if it is just a few minutes at a go, is detracting from my work and the possibility of picking DS up early, so I'll get back to it. Thanks again though!

[dreamingofsun]

i quite often sit reading the paper when my cleaner first arrives - but there's no way i'd volunteer to help her out and she wouldn't expect it. a job is a job

[myheadisconfused]

I don't think it was English language WhereToStartYetAgain

[Summerbird73]

my thoughts exactly MHIC

[Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara]

OP, the way I see it is; you're the customer, and you're paying for her services. What you choose to do with your time whilst your DC is with the childminder is irrelevant and none of her business. She is getting paid to look after your child, she's not doing it as a favour, and it's not up to her to set terms and conditions about what you can and can't do when your child is with her.

[Biobytes]

Your childminder is getting paid for a service she provides, she is not doing you a being a good neighbour favour. The fact that she may want a snowy day off is irrelevant... she works from home and the client has showed up. And even if he hadn't... you should have to pay anyway, don't you?

[diddl]

But by that token, if mums who work should have their children (so as not to bother cm) when they are at home, should SAHM´s never send their children to nursery?

Can´t help that these cm´s who are getting paid to look after the child aren´t very professional if they feel it´s their business to comment on what mothers do & get pissed off.

Would they rather lose custom completely?

[MaDugHerDecsOut]

Is there a clause in a CMs contract that they provise servies for working parents only?

[FeelingOld]

Well i am a childminder and I have mindees while parents are working, christmas shopping, going to hospital appointments, funerals, studying, doing exams, visiting relatives in hospital, meeting friend for lunch, when they need to go back to bed cos they are unwell and for lots of other scenarios and I dont really care what they are doing, I get paid for what i do so whats the difference.

I had mindees yesterday and my own children were off school so we stayed in all day (well kids played out on the green with all the other kids from the street) but today weather is worse so I have not got mindees so we been sledging. If i had to work today i would, its a normal working day so why wouldnt i if i was needed?

[HSMM]

YANBU. I am a CM and while you pay me to look after your child, you can work, go to the hair dresser, clear your drive, go to the pub with your friends, or whatever else you want to do. Don't feel guilty, she is not doing you a favour.

Just thinking the miffed look might have been 'Oh, if only they had kept DC at home today, I would have had an unexpected day off', but she may be perfectly professional enough to live with this.

[pink4ever]

In answer to the question whats it to do with me? the op is asking for our opinion and I am certainly entitled to mine. Also in response to the suggestion that the cm I know are unprofessional psml!.They bitch about the mums all the time!(and you are seriously naive if you think your hired hands arent doing the same!). They bitch about mums sending dcs round to theirs who are clearly ill or sending them to nursery and the cm have to go pick them up(happened at least twice in past week) because they are all too busy at work. Before get flamed for being anti wohm let me say I was brought up by one.Not the lifestyle I have chosen but each to their own.

[MoonUnitAlpha]

YANBU!

When I go to back to work, my ds is going to go to nursery for two mornings when I'm off - so I have some free time. I'll be paying for the service and it's not the nursery's place to judge me for it.

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

YANBU, if your childminder's doors are open then it's exactly what you're paying her for. I pay our CM to look after DD, if I book annual leave to go shopping then that's none of her business (in the nicest possible way as our CM is lovely). In fact, I've just done this so I can empty the attic. I might be home but can't be watching a 15mo DD while in the attic.

If she'd shut to everyone else who couldn't get there but took your child as you live over the road then I'd say that's a bit more tricky; even if you're paying as she might have felt she was doing you a favour so you could get to work.

[deembee]

YADNBU I am a childminder and for the past three days all my parents have been off work and Uni etc due to the weather but the children have still come to me. I expected it and was prepared for it. We are paid to provide a service, what you do with the time you have paid for is your business, not your childminders and i think she was very unprofessional to be offhand with you.

One of my parents this morning rang to say was it still okay for mindee to come as both parents were off today and i told them, ofcourse it was okay and i was paid for the time and expected to have him.

[backwardpossom]

I'm hoping for another snow day tomorrow so I can put DS to the childminder and I can have a day to myself to catch up with things round the house. Fingers crossed! :)

YANBU in the slightest. You're paying her to do her job and that's what she's doing. End of.

[PuppyMonkey]

YANBU. I paid for DD2 to go to CM so I could do the cleaning, fart about on MN and go out for the day with my DP when she was younger. She lived two doors up from me too. Never batted an eyelid if she bumped into me in Tesco or whatever.

[Figgyrolls]

I had dd down for nursery today and couldn't get there due to snow. As a result it isn't their fault, I don't expect to get a refund as they were open but I couldn't get in. Presumably you do the same today as you do every other day, its just she saw you go out to get some supplies and clear the snow from the front of the house. Frankly imho not the most exciting stuff in the world is it? I would have preferred to take the dc sledging as I am sure you would too!

[WhereToStartYetAgain]

Wow to those that think shovelling snow and ice off the paths and pavement and grocery shopping are fun and leisure activities I may just PM you my address and you're more than welcome to come and have as much "fun" as you can handle at my expense As much as I would prefer DS not to see me whilst he is with the CM, it's inevitable given how close she lives - I could be waiting for a bus to college one day, or be coming back home only to go out again for a firm event. I try my best to make sure that he doesn't, but CM was on her way out today without my knowledge. There's nothing I could have done to avoid that, other than enforcing an indoors-only ban all day. Unless it would have been reasonable not to sort out my drive and my neighbours just so DS wouldn't catch a glimpse of me and miss his mummy, or just so CM would be secure in the knowledge that she absolutely had to work on a day she was scheduled to work anyway

Well, DS is home now and playing downstairs with his Papa. I've had a busy afternoon getting college work done. I made it to my childminder's and carried 18mo DS and his humongous bag back without slipping or sliding all over the pavement like everyone else. DH and I together managed to carry home enough food to last us a week, and my neighbours can make it to their bins safely and have some food in the house. All in all, a very productive day

Now, let's see if I'd kept DS home with me ...

1. Either DH or I wouldn't have gotten any work done, meaning an unpaid day off (for DH) or a whole weekend spent in the library away from DH and DS (me)
   

1. DH wouldn't have been able to carry both our food and my neighbours' home alone (no way would I want to take DS all the way to the grocery store in his buggy with all that ice around), which would have meant a hazardous trip out for my elderly neighbour's sister [who is elderly as well and her sister's sole carer]
   

1. DH or myself would have needed to venture out to the grocery store yet again tomorrow or Friday (as the small cornershop near us is almost out of daily supplies, it would mean walking again to the large supermarket which is half a hour's walk away on a sunny snow-free day)
   

1. If I had kept him home on my own suggestion, CM would still have expected to be paid for the day
   

1. I wouldn't have been able to canvass the helpful opinions of other MNers
   

Quite glad I sent him in today. Was thinking about keeping him home tomorrow (as looks like another snow day), but again, it would mean doing no work and having to spend the weekend at the library/at home working. So, will be sending him in unless CM asks me not to (which she didn't when I went over but it would be within her rights), but I would make the decision not to pay her for the day (again, within my rights) as to do so would be paying for the privilege of spending unnecessary time away from my son/DH this weekend.

Aaaanyway, enough waffling - I've decided to give myself a half hour break to MNet to my heart's content. So, what have I missed?

[diddl]

The point of you sending him is so that you can work, isn´t it?
And that´s what you´ve been doing.

And she had her 13yr old daughter at home?

Well, would she really have wanted a day playing in the snow with her mum?