to not want in-laws to give Xmas presents on 19th Dec?

[missworld2010]

I can't believe how irritated I am by this, but obviously there's history of other things ;)

however, taken as this one situation at face value, do you think I am allowed to make it clear to my in-laws that I don't want them to hand over presents and let our girls open them when they come to visit BEFORE Christmas,on 19th Dec?

Part of the history is that since DD1 was born 5 years ago, we have taken it in turns to have either my parents or in-laws here to stay for Christmas itself (they both live far away), but somehow the in-laws have always managed to invite themselves to come on Boxing Day if it's not their turn. Which means we have a houseful, not enough room to move around, and the girls get all too stressed, and I get way too stressed etc. So I politely asked DH to politely ask them not to do that this time, thinking (but stupidly not making clear) that they would come around 29th or over New Year sort of time. So instead they picked to come beforehand, and I just have a sneaky suspicion that they will walk in and as a 'fait accompli' present (excuse the pun) the girls with their presents so it would seem unfair not to let them open them.

Surely Christmas is about waiting til the magic of Christmas Day?!!

Aaaaaaaaaaarggggggh. thanks, glad I got that out and

[mumeeee]

YABU. MIL has alawys come before Christmas and left presents for us all to open on Christmas day. You can just tell your girls that they can open the presents at Christmas,

[DilysPrice]

Only applies for Santa's presents 2rebecca. If Santa doesn't deliver the big presents, just a stocking, then all bets are off, and it's certainly rare for Santa to deliver presents from grandparents (it's also barking IMO, but that's a whole 'nother thread, which we've already done at least once this year).

[2rebecca]

I have had to work xmas day before, as has my ex. You rarely have to work 24 hours of it so can usually find some time on xmas day to open presents. You can't open your presents until Santa delivers them.

[2rebecca]

The biggie for small kids is that santa delivers your presents and comes dfown the chimney to do so on xmas eve. For me as a kid that was the magical bit of Christmas, the baby Jesus religious bit was all secondary. it was really about the miracle of santa getting past the gas fire, drinking his whiskey (although I think we put out brandy as dad didn't like whiskey!) and Rudolph nibbling his carrot. Santa left all your presents in a big sack and a stocking.
This random presents on different days to keep the rellies happy and presents under the tree does away with all that in my opinion.
I still won't open any presents before xmas day.

[MerryMarigold]

Lasy year we had xmas day on xmas eve as Dad was working. It's not like Jesus was actually born on that day, is it, so what's the biggie?

[SMulledwineS]

When I was a child any presents given to us before Christmas day were put under the tree then that night sanras Helpers collected them and were then delivered by Santa on Xmas eve...

[edam]

OP, I know you've decided to give in, but I think YANBU at all. The grandparents should leave the presents to be opened on Christmas Day. If your children are too small to wait, grandparents should hand them over discreetly to you to be hidden away until the big day. And then the children phone the grandparents to say thank you.

[SantasMooningArse]

Well, my asnwer was YABU

Until I read about teh ASD

Not all kids with ASD are the same but if there's a chance that opening presents not on the right day will upset the child (and I have 2 with it) then that's different; it more than explains the crowds on boxing day, absolutely.

If not though YABU as I think the giver should see the rpessie being opened.

[girlywhirly]

Issues with the ILS aside, it would benefit you all to entertain them before Christmas. Less stress and anxiety, ILS feel valued and enjoy seeing the DGC open their gifts, hopefully then will not need to visit again when you have a housefull.

Be grateful they actually care enough to give the DGC presents and want to see them. I don't see any value in being really rigid about when and how you do Christmas and presents, as you just set yourself up for disappointment if things don't go to plan.

I do think that the ILS would be VU to arrive with no warning on Boxing day, having seen you before Christmas.

[2rebecca]

With young kids Christmas presents should be opened on xmas day if at all possible. Any presents received before then preferable get given to parents to put away or get put under tree if kids have seen them.
All this "need to see the expression on their ickle faces" stuff just seems to show a failure of imagination to me.
If my kids are with their dad then he gets given the presents to put out for them on xmas morning. I can imagine the expression on their faces and know the expression on their faces when small would be happier coming down to all presents on xmas morning than getting them given on random days near xmas.

[Sassybeast]

YABU - the kids grandparents aren't seeing them 'for Christmas' until January - shall i ring them and demand they send the pressies early ?

[missworld2010]

DuelingFanio, I'm with you, thanks for making me feel 'normal' for 2 seconds (our family certainly isn't!!)

[Morloth]

Christmas starts here on about the 20th and we 'do' Christmas day many times over until around 5ty January in order to see everyone.

It really isn't a problem, grandparents eh, wanting to see their grandkids and GIVE them things, what next?!

[BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree]

not "normal" if you traditional open them on Christmas Eve or Epiphany

[DuelingFanio]

Isn't 'normal' when all presents are delivered and they are opened on the right day (Christmas day) and none of them come from santa apart from those in the stocking?

[DilysPrice]

We are having inlaws over pre xmas, they are leaving on boxing day and we will then go down to spend 2 nights with my parents.
We are looking forward to it immensely, as we love all four of them very dearly.
The reason why no-one else has ever said this on MN is that it is a) dull and b) smug.

[onmyfeet]

We are having Christmas at the in-laws on Dec. 23rd. That is the day both dh and ds's gf are both off at the same time. We will exchange presents with them that night. We are bringing the pre-cooked Christmas dinner with us, so mil won't be burdened (health issue). Then on Christmas Day, dh works, so we will open the rest of the presents before he leaves (afternoon shift) then have a nice dinner that night.

[tulipgrower]

My DS opened his first Christmas present yesterday.

My brother visited this weekend and brought it with him. As he lives in a different country, and will be spending Christmas at the other end of the world, we did a whole mini-Christmas, incl. crackers, stockings, fancy dinner, Christmas CDs, advents wreath, ... The present was a huge keyboard which is laid on the floor, and makes the appropriate noises when you walk on the keys. The two of them had a great time trying it out. It would have been such a pity, for both my DS and my brother if they'd missed out on this experience together. (DS is only 2.4, so no real concept of Christmas/time yet anyway.)

[SparkleSoiree]

Drats.

[onmyfeet]

Yes Sparkle, you are normal. :)

[SparkleSoiree]

We are at home christmas day with all the children on our own. We will make phone calls to thank for presents at various points through the day.

We are visiting friends for boxing day and stopping over.

We then have inlaws coming on 30th for 3 days and we have booked a couple of things whilst they are up.

Are we normal?

[toomanychristmaslights]

I'm beginning to wonder if there are any families that are normal and totally looking forward to Christmas with the extended family

I say this as someone who has made dh phone his parents as I'm too nervous and have sent texts to my brother about where he will be sleeping when he stays as he is making demands....

[SparkleSoiree]

Missworld as with anything we all have to take the good with the bad and that goes for inlaws too!

[onmyfeet]

Glad you decided to let them open them. And if you think about it, it doesn't ruin anything doing it early, just extends the magical Christmas feeling! Maybe you can have a special dinner and exchange presents with them that night. We often do that, to make it work with when my dh has time off work.

[missworld2010]

Thanks all, think you're right, IWBU!!! Will just swallow my pride and look on the upside of having them here before - just as long as they don't then decide to come after too ].

Will also remember not to post on AIBU again without giving whole story