To not want to...

[Mishy1234]

DH is graduating this thursday and apparently the ceremony is going to be 1-1.5h long. He fully expects me to sit through it with 2 young children (2.8y and 5.5 months). MIL will be there, but I still think it's completely unreasonable of him to expect me to do it.

I can't leave DS2 as he's still bf and I'm not prepared to have him potentially upset and hungry.

I really, really don't want to be in the middle of a long row of people having to leave after 5 minutes with a crying baby or restless toddler. MIL will be there, but I don't want to have to argue back and forth with her in the middle of things when she tried to wrestle DS2 off me (which she will).

[Mishy1234]

Thanks for all the suggestions, they are very helpful.

I will give them a ring and see if something can be worked out.

[LittleYellowTeapot]

I wouldn't miss my DH's graduation for anything!

I can see how the day might be a bit of a nightmare for you, but I think you'd regret it in years to come if you didn't go. Will your MIL be much help? Make the best of it and make sure you enjoy a glass of wine with your DH when it's all over. Good luck - I hope it goes smoothly

[hugglymugly]

I'd also suggest contacting the organisers. As it's an MBA rather than a first degree they should have experience of graduates who are also parents of very young children, particularly babies who are breastfed, so should be able to swap the seats around for you so you are at the end of the row.

Is it possible to arrange childcare for your older child? I can imagine that an almost-3-year-old could find the proceedings pretty boring. Maybe someone you know, who could entertain your DC1 outside so afterwards you have the whole family there for the photographs.

Do you have a sling you could put the baby in? That might help stop your MIL trying to wrestle the baby off you (which, of course, she shouldn't be doing anyway).

I don't think you're BU - it sounds as though your DH hasn't thought it through, so if you give him an action plan he might see that you and your DCs being there during the ceremony is problematic. Maybe the photographs afterwards with his family, with him dressed in his cap and gown, would be a better option.

[walkingonair]

As it?s an MBA graduation, there is likely to be a few other parents with young children. I know at my post grad uni, there were lots of international students living on campus with their families so naturally they came to the ceremony, babies too!

It is a big deal, you should go and if you contact the university in advance the staff will be able to help with seating etc.

[fireblademum]

30 odd years ago my mum who probably deserves a medal for bonkersness in support of her DH took 3 of us (under 18mo, 4 and 6) to my dads graduation. from what i recall it did go ok, except my baby brother dropped his dummy off the balcony onto someone.
hope you enjoy it. i'm proud of my dad for graduating, and my mum for being there despite the difficulties. Your DC's will feel similarly proud in years to come.

[Sassyfrassy]

I can recommend white chocolate buttons. They wont look as messy as milk chocolate and are a good bribe.

Hope it goes well.

[Rindercella]

Good for you for taking on others' comments

Was your DH's MBA sponsored by his work? If so, the last few years must have been especially hard on both of you - work, study plus a young family is bloody hard.

Honestly, if I were in your shoes I would find someone to look after the DC for a couple of hours. In July I had to leave my ebf 3 month old DD2 for 2-3 hours for my father's funeral. Of course I was worried - she'd never taken a bottle. But she was fine. Of course she was.

Go. Enjoy it. And celebrate the end of a hard few years

[samcrow]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I wouldn't take a 2.8 year old to a formal occasion lasting up to 1.5hrs.

Maybe my DCs are unusual but there's no way they would have sat on my knee for that amount of time and I would be worried about spoiling the ceremony for everyone else. I'd be pretty annoyed to be sitting next to you someone who had to ssshhh their children all the time (not saying you would but I can't see 2 DCs being silent all that time)

I'm sure your Dh has worked hard but I think he's being really unrealistic expecting you to take the children - I assume you have no childcare alternatives.

[cumfy]

Yes, do phone the graduation ceremony people.

I would hope and anticipate they will offer (or even insist :o) you a seat right next to the door.