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AIBU?

in laws

29 replies

nuttyredhead · 15/11/2010 12:23

hey,
i fell out with my "inlaws" 4 yrs ago because they refused to acknowledge my son from a previous relationship,they refused t send cards or presents for him.They would only buy for their "biological grandchild,nephew etc"

My youngest son has got older and started t become more involved with my in laws.They are what to buy for xmas for him but again not interested in my eldest son.

Do your in laws buy for step children or am i just being unreasonable expecting them to.
Any advice would be very helpful.

Take care

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FindingMyMojo · 15/11/2010 17:19

My brothers wife has 2 children from previous marriage - we've always made a huge effort to treat them the same despite the fact they are 'difficult' and at times very unlikeable & have never ONCE said thanks for a present anyone in my family has given them. Still they've done well birthday, Xmas etc and are always included, never forgotten about.

Still my SIL moans my Mum doesn't treat them the same as their other 2 younger kids - in that they don't go to my Mums to hang our, bake cakes etc as often as the others. She is a 'difficult' person though so no surprise there (I'm sure your different OP). It seems like it's a no win situation. BTW the older kids GP's don't acknowledge the younger 2 at all in any way. So 2 kids have 3 sets of GP's and 2 kids have 2 sets of GP's and my Mum who sees them the most gets crap for not doing XY&Z. And the kids who have 3 sets of GP's are "unfairly" treated. No mention of the older kids not wanting to bake cakes with my Mum etc.

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pranma · 15/11/2010 17:37

My parents always bought equal presents for my dsc who were teens when I 'got' them.I am appalled at your in-laws.

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bumperella · 15/11/2010 18:33

The oldest is 9-years-old?? And the GP's think it's acceptable to "choose" on over the other? That's appalling.

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CardyMow · 15/11/2010 20:19

I had this a few years ago with bonkers MIL. She would only do stuff for 'her' GC. Even though my eldest didn't have ANY contact with her father's family. It got to the point where DP was a wussbag and I split u for 3 years over her refusal to accept my other 2 dc's. She bought a single buggy for 'her GS' when my older dc was only 18 months old. The final straw came when I had to LIE to my own 6yo DD (at the time) on her birthday because MIL refused to even get her a card and DD was in tears. I had to go and buy a card, and pretend it was from MIL. Many other occurences. Split up with DP for 3 yrs over it.

Now thankfully, DP has grown some testicles insisted that MIL treats them all the same, and TBH she is now doing a sterling job of doing so! It's taken 12 yrs in all to get to that point though, and even though DP and I have been back together for 18 months, it's only been the last 6 months that it's been like that.