My friend and I have five year old boys and we met when they were six months old. They are now friends. When we are together with the children I find that although I never tell off her son and leave that to her, she will often do that to my boy. I wouldn't mind so much if he had done something deliberately naughty but sometimes I don't agree with what she says. For example this morning we were at a gardening club and he loved the apple press, he went to keep turning the handle after the apples had been turned out and she told him quite sharply, "No, it's not for playing with" (whereas I was going to go up and hold it making sure it was safe) When picking tomatoes in the greenhouse, we had explained about only picking really red ones, but he got another 'No!' for one not red enough, bless him, he was just excited to pick them... also there were a couple of other times, I think he tossed a pear into a box (we'd been doing the same with apples all morning)It's a lot of this "NOooo" which I never do and I worry that he might lose his spontaneity and become wary of trying new things for fear of reprisal for getting it wrong. What do you think? Maybe I am just being sensitive? She does not do it to her own boys however praises him lots eg. "I know you'd be the man for the job"
AIBU?
to feel cross with friend for telling off my child?
LittleBlossom · 04/09/2010 16:43
Difficult. I have a friend who does loud parenting both to her child and mine. If I were to say anything I really don't think she would get it. Instead I usually look over her shoulder at ds and roll my eyes. Not very adult I know but if ds has done something I'm not happy with I always tell him off and he doesn't need to hear it in stereo. 
Many people don't like others telling their child off. I personally do not mind if DS has been asked not too.
My friend doesn't like it e.g today her dd kept pulling my trolley in the supermarket I asked her 3 times not to. The 4th time I said ' please don't do that I've asked you not too' and removered her hand. My friend looked really annoyed but I would tell my DS for that and the 2nd time would have been a consequence. They are 5 and 6 so not babies.
I would talk to your friend, dc's are all different and she may not be used to a dc who is into trying everything and exploring and doesn't understand that it's normal. Sometimes peoples expectations are different. SHE may have felt his behaviour was unacceptable and that as you weren't saying something she should/could. I'm not saying this is ok but that maybe you need to discuss what your individual expectations are and what YOU are happy for DS to do - 
but if she doesn't like it maybe you'll have to go out seperatly.
Ref above example my ds is into everything and exploring BUT if he was asked to stop and explained why if he then did it again yes I would expect him to be told off/ told no etc.
Custy you are marvellous!
My SIL does this. It is well-meant interfering and it's a right PITA. I also followed Hope's 'cowardly' approach, though nothing would give me more satisfaction than to follow Custy's advice! 
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