11 days sober- can't believe it!

[Lilyroo81]

Just what it says in the title really. This is the first time in 5 years of extreme drinking that I have gone longer than 5 days without alcohol and even then, I only managed that once. Apart from that I was drinking around half a bottle of vodka a day (often more) for months and months with no break and hating myself for it. Now, I have been sober for 11 days and am determined to continue. The fog is already beginning to clear and I have been having the best sleep I have had in years. Also, even in this short time my psoriasis which only appeared a few years ago, is beginning to improve.

I am really writing this to give hope to anyone who like me thought they could never give up. I know it's early days for me but I honestly thought I couldn't go a day without drink. I tried counselling, hypnotherapy and AA. I used to ask anybody who had got sober what their secret was and how they made 'the switch'. For me, it was something so simple. I went back to a mental health nurse who hadn't seen me in over a year and she was really shocked at my decline. Although she was kind, she didn't mince her words. She said that I now looked like a person with an alcohol problem- that she could tell it from my puffy face, my dead eyes and just my general appearance. When I first went in to her I lied and said I had been cutting down to 200ml a day for the last few months and she immediately called me out on my bs. She said I looked like somebody who had been hitting the bottle hard for a sustained period and that she found it hard to believe I had really reduced my intake. I said to her that she must get frustrated when she sees somebody coming back after a year and now drinking even more. She said she wasn't frustrated but it made her sad as she could see I had so much potential but was wasting it.

I walked away that day and haven't touched anything since. I think I had a lightbulb moment and realise I don't want to do this anymore. I'm 36 and would like children someday. Even if I've left it too late for that I know my life will be infinitely better without the poison I was putting into my body everyday. Maybe a bad turn of phrase but here's to the future!!!:)

[Vickiqc]

This is unbelievable, word for word this has been my life exactly for the past 5 years, right down to the vodka consumption. I took have just completed day 11 and amazed at the difference it's made. I'm 50, single and live alone. Every day after work and all weekend I would do nothing but drink. It made me miserable, I saw nobody, I done nothing! Since stopping I feel a positivity I haven't felt before, I took myself to the cinema last weekend, loved it. I'm de junking my flat this weekend, all little things to a non drinker but when you're addicted life is black and very empty. Im taking one day at a time as there are moments when the devil suggests " hey, you've done well, celebrate with just one"... Crush that f*er there and then!!... Sleep is improving, mental health certainly has improved. Now waiting for the pounds to drop them I will feel more like the old me x

[SaltySeaCat]

Well done @Lilyroo81 ! I have been AF for just over a year and it’s amazing! I haven’t had outside support - just lots of quit lit that I listened to (and still do) over and over again. My mental health is much better, I have lost 2 1/2 stone, I have been told I look 10 years younger and my digestive issues have resolved.
Good luck and keep going.

[K877]

AA in the UK is miserable. Always going on and on about the past. I have joined an American one online. Much more positive and talking about the here and now and the future 😊

[K877]

AA in the UK is miserable. Always going on and on about the past. I have joined an American one online. Much more positive and talking about the here and now and the future 😊

[K877]

AA in the UK is miserable. I have joined an American one online. Much more positive 😊

[MostIneptThatEverStepped]

Well done to you Lily, what a wonderful thing to see!
Keep going!! Lovely that your boyfriend is so supportive, whatva big difference that makes.

[Lilyroo81]

Thanks so much @domesticslattern I read the book Alcohol Lied to Me which I believe can be downloaded free from Craig Beck's website. I also recommend Jason Vale's book. These books in themselves weren't the catalyst for me stopping drinking but they do make a lot of sense. :)

[domesticslattern]

Well done you! Keep going!

[Lilyroo81]

I said I would come back with an update so just wanted to let you know that today I am 3 weeks sober. It feels wonderful!

The only slight challenge was my work night out last Friday. It wasn't that I was tempted to drink but that I didn't know how to explain to others the reason why I wasn't. It comes back to the old thing of caring too much what other people think of me. I suppose at some point I'm going to have to tell my friends that I am not intending to ever drink again but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. At the minute, I'm approaching things one day at a time. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive and tells me he's proud of me. It's early days but I already feel so much happier within myself and feel more at peace.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my thread. It means so much that strangers would take the time to leave words of encouragement to help me on my journey into sobriety.

[MrsMotherHen]

Thats fantastic OP. My mum died at 38 through alcoholism such a sad waste she would have had a lovely life, if only she didn't drink would have had three lovely grandchildren. She would have been 50 last month.

You can have your life back keep going your amazing!

[exWifebeginsat40]

(and i was a professional in a good job with a child and a husband and a home. i destroyed all of it. the job won’t be back, i’m well rid of the husband and not fussed about the house. my kid came back too - only part time but it’s good enough for me)

[BeerBaby]

Brilliant!

[exWifebeginsat40]

you are doing brilliantly. really, you are.

i’m about 3.5 years sober now - AA saved my life and taught me how to live without the booze. i was a rock-bottom, lost-everything dying wreck. someone got me to a meeting the day after the end of my last drunk and i’ve been working on it one day at a time ever since.

i went to a LOT of meetings at the start. i’d been going to meetings for about 6 months but couldn’t keep from picking up. i got a tough sponsor who took me through the steps - it’s not about religion, it’s therapy. no gods required.

keep on trucking OP, and anyone else here who is quit, quitting or even thinking about it. if i can do this, so can you. it DOES get easier and the rewards are immeasurable.

be well.

[Runningwithscissors12]

Well done @Lilyroo81 - amazing news 💛

[GeorgeTheHamster]

That's a brilliant start you should be proud of yourself. Now you need to plan to keep this going. Pour the drink down the sink NOW and think about how to sort out some support. You will need it and I think you know this.

[lynmilne65]

dietcoke
Spot on xx

[lynmilne65]

No body in AA will think anything less,!we have all been there. 36 years ago my last drink was 2 bottles of vodka.!Am now 68 and sober since then ,Massive AA for first few years, mainly on coping with life; go occasionally now.

[HertToHert]

Congratulations and well done OP for what sounds like an immense struggle. I have no experience of it but can only imagine the fight to stay sober. I wish you every bit of luck as you overcome each milestone togetting your life back together. Get some support around you, like AA. Anytime you feel tempted just remember what it feels like to be finally you.

[MostIneptThatEverStepped]

Thank you Lily, things will keep getting better and better for you!
That's lovely that you keep the serenity prayer close to you, it's very useful 😊
One thing about AA is that you end up with a network of people to ring or text if you're feeling low, something bad has happened that you would normally deal with by drinking etc. I'm happy to PM you my number if that's any help. It's so helpful to know that you can speak to someone who instantly gets it because they've been where you are. And you always feel better after.

Keep your blood sugar up, eat sweets or chocolate if that helps. Don't let yourself get too hungry or tired. Now is the time to treat yourself and look after yourself as if you were recovering from an illness, which you are!

[Lilyroo81]

@MostIneptThatEverStepped That's great!! Really well done. I know exactly what you mean about the tiredness. When it had got to months and months of drinking without even one day's break, I wondered how I would carry on. I have no idea how I managed for the most part to get up and go to work everyday. As you know it's more than just feeling tired. It's an utter physical and mental exhaustion that is all-consuming. I am still coming out of the fog so to speak but I already feel so much better.

I have been carrying round a serenity prayer keyring in my pocket since I stopped drinking so obviously AA must have struck a chord with me. I have also been reading about others who were like me and came out the other side. Very inspiring!

[MostIneptThatEverStepped]

Hey Lily well done!! Eleven days sober is fantastic!
I'm 5 months sober today. My rock bottom was when I couldn't get out of bed to go to work...I wasn't even hungover I was just completely used up mentally and physically. I went to see my GP and she suggested AA and I went the next day and haven't drunk since.
AA has given me the most amazing support, I absolutely could not have done it on will power alone. And on a day by day basis, having gone through the steps, I have the tools to change my outlook on life and my thinking.
I can't even tell you how much better I feel. I'm not tired any more...I've been tired for the past five years. I feel peaceful and well.

[Lilyroo81]

@loveablether Thank you for sharing the story about your sister. I'm so glad she turned her life around and now has her family and friends back. I too am a vicious drunk. It removes all my filters and turns me into a person that is very far removed from my true self. It seems strange that I would be saying this yet the poison that is alcohol drew me in for such a long time. I'm at risk of losing everything if I continue to drink and need to think of this if I'm ever tempted. I realise that sobriety is giving me a chance at life that alcohol took away.

[Lilyroo81]

Thanks for your words of encouragement @dietcokewithlemon I agree with you about the ebb and flow of sobriety. I admit that I have had thoughts about picking up a drink. At the minute I'm putting it down to the fact that I drank vodka every day for months and months without stopping and it is now an ingrained habit. I know it it going to take more than a couple of weeks to get the cycle of drinking out of my head. I am already feeling a bit of the peace that you talk about. It seems silly but when I go out at the minute I look around me and have a sense of self-respect that I totally lost through alcohol. I think to myself 'I'm sober today' and there is no better feeling.

I need to remember what alcohol has cost me (and it has cost me a lot) and not start to look back on anything with rose-tinted glasses. I will definitely consider going back to AA. I did find it extremely supportive but I have a lot of social anxiety so it will take a lot of courage for me to walk through those doors again. Wish me luck!:)

[flingingmelon]

Well done @Lilyroo81

Come back and keep us updated with your progress!

[ooerrmissus]

Congratulations OP! Check out the DRY threads on here (in relationships I think)- they are full of people at all stages of stopping and very supportive.